What to say to sexist salesman asking for my 'husband' to be present for quote? Should i say something?

[Sailawaygirl]

So man selling windows (well known company) came to door saying he had done some work on a house up street and they have a good deal atm ect ect. It just so happens I do need new windows and getting quotes is on my todo list so for once door knock could be helpful. ( i will obviously contact more than just his company but its a start)

my AIBU is --- in door step conversation he asks if we own house ( obviously important). he then asks if I have a husband, I say yes ( we arent married but I know what he means and he is probably asking for finance reasons ect)
He then says he wants to come back ' when my husband is around' so he can talk to us both!!!!! i say DP is working today but window man can come back to give me a full quote latter in day. He then insists on coming when 'husband' is back from work or at a weekend so husband can have quote!!! I tell sales person that i deal with quotes and DIY stuff and to just deal with me. Its a loose quote im not going to sign on dotted line today! He says it so i can choose what colour handles on doors ect!!!! I tell him im more interested in energy efficiency and cost and that i dont want him to come when DP is back from work as this impacts family time.
Then when he takes my details and asks for my title - i say ms , he says mrs and then miss and i correct no ms.

How can a salesman be so out of tune with the times? he wasn't an older sales person either!!!!

He said someone would phone me for feedback after, AIBU to bring up that i felt he had a sexist attitude? how do i phrase it constructively

Ask which house it is, he’s just a salesman trying it on. Wouldn’t touch any of the bigger companies with a 10 foot barge pole or anyone that cold calls. Just go to local companies takes a minute to send a quote request and you can feedback from local people. Anyone that spoke to me like that would be told to FO no way would I let them come back.

The fact he is trawling the street and knocking on doors says something about the company and the sales tactics they use. Would not entertain anyone knocking on the door for business. Do your reasearch and invite companies with recommendations.

As fast as I’m concerned if they need both owners there they must be planning to push you to sign up there and then. In principle I’d refuse.
smaller local companies will measure then send a quote by email for you to consider at your leisure.
all the legally relevant spec has to be on the paperwork so there’s no reason to insist on verbally “presenting” to both.

This!

If it's the well known company beginning with A, I've had them round and they're hard sellers.
You'll be quoted an astronomical amount, then it'll be discounted and discounted until it's still more expensive than the local independent company. You'll be pressured to sign up there and then. They got nasty with me when I wouldn't sign up.

unless his quote is far far lower than other others I wouldn’t deal with him. I’d definitely complain!

Did you notice when you bought your house your husbands surname went first
joint bank accounts too

My dh surname ( married kep5 own name ) Starts with a
D
my dhs starts with a
W

So why is my dh name always firs5 on everything.

I told hsbc they were sexist ( I wouldn’t mind but my dh joined my bank account we didn’t set it up together )
so hsbc changed it to alphabetical

Intold solicitor they were sexist when we bought and the6 did nothing
When we move next time I will insist or sue..I’ve had enough!

Why are there number 5s and 6s all over my post.
🤣🤣🤣😳

Could I just point out that people doing the hard sell tactic are wasting the time of the person they are selling to as well? I had a hard sell from a British Gas salesman once. It was my property and I was paying, he established that straight away. I also said straight away that I was getting in three quotes. He spent the best part of three hours trying to get me to sign his nasty little contract and eventually told me 'we're at cross purposes here'.

Well, no, mate. I was getting in three quotes, and yours was the first. I'd made that clear.

🤣🤯🤣🤯
I was so furious with your post I’ve made soooo many mistakes

My surname name starts with a D
My dh surname starts with a W

Apologies to those who’ve had to guess what I’m talking about.

I got had one day and opened the door to a glazing salesman (company name starts with S). We'd already had a quote from elsewhere, so I said yes to a measure and quote. Cue the phone calls, double checking the appointment, my husband would be home. The chap arrived to quote a few days later, and gave us a quote for £18k, and it was like a comedy sketch when he had to phone the office and his manager and it dropped to £12k, then £10k. Other quote we'd had was for £6k! He was so pushy that in the end, DH had to say "I've had enough now, and you won't be getting any work from us if you don't shift". We were harrassed so badly from phone calls afterwards that we reported them to Trading Standards and the Police - it didn't help that FIL was in hospital dying and the hospital rang from a withheld number so I had to answer all calls. Seriously, don't let these sharks in, they sub the work out to local contractors and most of the time they're absolute amateurs. We had ours done by a local chap who has been brilliant.

I’m widowed. Own the house outright in sole name. I wanted a quote for a bathroom refit and had to tell the salesman no less than three times that there wasn’t a Mr Doody - that l was the homeowner. When the quote arrived by post it was addressed to Mr and Mrs Doody. I let it go and went with the company but pointed out yet again that l was the sole homeowner. The copy of the agreement for the work arrived - not only addressed to Mr and Mrs, but a place for Mr to sign on the dotted line to accept the terms and conditions. Got that sorted and redrafted. Profuse apologies all round. Work done, all fine. Final invoice arrived - you’ve guessed it - addressed to Mr and Mrs Doody. I couldn’t decide whether it was misogyny or just sheer stupidity. Nice bathroom though.

Not as bad as the Conservative Party canvasers who asked if my husband was in and didn't want to talk to me!

He can ask for all homeowners to be present at the time of signing contracts, I think, to ensure you have the right to install the windows - but to assume you aren’t the owner and not to ask is very sexist.

Of course they do... only a moron would sign up there and then to a door knocker. My DH would tell them we'll think about it too while showing them the door.

In my case I'm married but my house is mine, I paid for it and I pay for renovations too it. If I die it passes to the children. Although its my house and my money if a door knocker knocked on my door and offered a quote I would likely mention it to DH anyway as we talk about general life stuff.

DH has zero power over me doing anything though, he also hates DIY or dealing with builders so doesn't want to sit there like a lemon while someone talks to him all chummy about shit he gives no fucks about.

I tend to get 'are your parent home?' when I open the door to door knockers (I have naturally grey streaks in my hair and crows feet) or sometimes they don't even speak 'too' me they just go 'sorry, too young' and walk off. Doesn't bother me though as it makes them real easy to get rid of.

What is the basis for that assertion please? I don't think that's true at all. In any event, I might be married/living with someone, but own the house myself!

I can't imagine why more women verbally commit and then later back out when so many sales men use the technique of trapping those women in their house and basically refusing to leave unless the women place an order...

Tell that to the poster who started a thread about the Tories being the saviours of women’s rights!
Doesn’t surprise me at all, though.

Erm… precisely?

They are being sexist because the question should be ‘are you the sole or joint owner of this property?’

I had a similar problem after having two windows replaced. I casually mentioned that there was a possibility of a smaller job maybe the following year. A barrage of calls followed - really pushy. Wanting to come and measure up for quotes. I put them off because my elderly mum lives with us and she wasn’t well. Still the phone calls came. She was subsequently diagnosed with cancer and l told them l would have to postpone indefinitely. Several aggressive sales pitch type phone calls later l had to threaten them with trading standards. In the end what put a stop to it was a scathing review l left on Trustpilot. An email apology followed and l haven’t heard from them since. Shame really because the work was excellent, but they let themselves down with such over the top aggressive sales tactics.

Agree this is a pressure selling tactic. I'd just say I was single through? Unless my husband was actually in and therefore likely to make an appearance!

I was once asked by a man working for a well known womens car insurance company if I wanted to check with my husband first when cancelling my insurance due to a massive hike in price. To give him some credit he did apologise and seem quite sheepish when I pointed out that I was capable of deciding how to spend my own money but I was shocked at how easily it just came out of his mouth. He sounded quite young too!

I would have lost my fucking shit. In a steely, restrained snarky kinda way, but lost my shot nonetheless.

I have had this three times, despite being the person who handles all of the DIY and organises all the jobs that require tradespeople, like you OP.

It’s not what they say, exactly, but more how they say it that just puts my back right up. The other one is when we’re both there but they only talk to my DH, despite him continually turning to me and saying, “Oh, I don’t know, you have that information, don’t you?” Or the bank’s mortgage adviser who kept ignoring my answers and told my other half to get a sodding prenup, right in front of me, even though it was my money that was going in for the deposit and I make more than he does.

This is the 2020s, not the bloody 1920’s but some guys just don’t get it. Did you go with them in the end, OP?

I've had this before and had the same reaction as you, but actually it's not quite as misogynist as it might sound. It's a classic hard sell tactic and if you'd been a man he'd have asked the same questions about owning the house and whether or not you have a partner who owns it with you.

They want to present their product/service to all of the household decision makers at the same time, so they can close the deal on the spot.

They don't want to give you their sales pitch only for you to say 'thank you very much, I'll take it over with my husband/wife later and see what they think.' Once he's out of the door his chances of getting a sale at the price he's quoted you drop massively. It gives you the perfect excuse not to sign on the dotted line there and then, because you need to talk to your partner. It gives you time to look for alternative quotes and weigh one company's product, service and price up against another, which is exactly what he doesn't want.

If he has you both there, his first price will be very high. When you baulk at it, or seem hesitant he'll go through the charade of saying 'let me just ring my boss and see if I can shave a bit off that for you'. Or he'll say 'I might be able to offer you a discount if you agree to have some external photos taken afterwards as you have such a lovely house, it would look great on our website/in our brochure' This is pure flattery and will probably never happen. But that's not the point. They never expect anyone except someone a bit naive or vulnerable to accept the first price.

Then he'll come back with a 'discounted' price, but probably still not as good as you could get by going to a smaller company that doesn't employ salesmen on commission to cold call at people's front doors. But it will be so much better than the first price that you'll be convinced it's a great deal by that stage.

But the condition of getting that 'special price' is that it's only available today if you sign now.

This is absoute nonsense of course. If the company can do it at that price today they can also do it at that price tomorrow or in a week's time. So don't be pressured into making a decision on the spot. In fact the companies who adopt these tactics rarely have the best product or the best price, and they know it, hence the underhand tactics.

Just use a local independent person to do windows, the companies put on a lot of profit and can lower the prices by 3/4 k at a time

I just deal with a one man band who quoted me and fitted French doors for 4 x less than I was quoted 15 years previously by a larger company - it was a waste of time having them quote tbh

This isn't necessarily sexist. They need the agreement of both homeowners to go ahead with a job. But if you feel that he's using hard sales techniques or you don't feel comfortable with him, do say so/make an excuse for him not to come back.