What to say to sexist salesman asking for my 'husband' to be present for quote? Should i say something?

[Sailawaygirl]

So man selling windows (well known company) came to door saying he had done some work on a house up street and they have a good deal atm ect ect. It just so happens I do need new windows and getting quotes is on my todo list so for once door knock could be helpful. ( i will obviously contact more than just his company but its a start)

my AIBU is --- in door step conversation he asks if we own house ( obviously important). he then asks if I have a husband, I say yes ( we arent married but I know what he means and he is probably asking for finance reasons ect)
He then says he wants to come back ' when my husband is around' so he can talk to us both!!!!! i say DP is working today but window man can come back to give me a full quote latter in day. He then insists on coming when 'husband' is back from work or at a weekend so husband can have quote!!! I tell sales person that i deal with quotes and DIY stuff and to just deal with me. Its a loose quote im not going to sign on dotted line today! He says it so i can choose what colour handles on doors ect!!!! I tell him im more interested in energy efficiency and cost and that i dont want him to come when DP is back from work as this impacts family time.
Then when he takes my details and asks for my title - i say ms , he says mrs and then miss and i correct no ms.

How can a salesman be so out of tune with the times? he wasn't an older sales person either!!!!

He said someone would phone me for feedback after, AIBU to bring up that i felt he had a sexist attitude? how do i phrase it constructively

I don’t know if it has already been said but it isn’t sexist. If your husband had answered the door his questions would have been the same and come back when you were also home.
1 person cannot agree to change something like that on a house owned by 2 people.

Back at n the day I had an artexer doing some work in our house. I was explaining what I wanted and he said “I think next time I need to come round when your husband’s here”. Needless to say no more work went his way 😡

Kicked a salesman out once over a new boiler quote.

He arrived for the appointment and asked where my husband was. I said I was single. He then asked if I had a Dad or an Uncle nearby who could pop round and he could go through the quote with them.

I pointed out that I'm allowed to own a house and I'm allowed to spend my own money on home improvements without the need for a male chaperone. Then asked him to leave.

My mam lived on her own for years and really struggled to get her extension built because they’d always say ‘I can come back when your husband is in?’ And she would say I don’t have a husband but I have the cash and then she would never hear from them again

Because they want you to sign right there and then. We fell into this sales trap, the quote you will get is only valid if you sign at that point. We had ours done by a local company and it was less than a quarter of what the other company quoted and they let us think about for a few days before we confirmed. I left feedback for the other company and I personally think their hard sales tactics are appalling

No it wouldn't. If a man opened the door, the salesman would assume he was the homeowner.

But a woman has to have a man co-owning. And can't possibly be trusted to spend money she has probably earned herself!

And I have never been asked to prove I am the homeowner for any DIY I've had done, including window replacements (the last occasion last year). Another example of a key home improvement would be replacing the gas boiler (two years ago). I don't believe that they go and check the Land Registry, either.

I really am fed up with the women making excuses for sexist men on here.

Well this scenario did happen and they came back when I was home (I’m the wife) so yes they would. Just because that is your experience doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.

Yes they can, I don’t even own the home I live in yet, my husband does, not a single tradie has asked if there is another owner or if I have their permission. When I co-owned a flat with a male friend he was never asked if anyone else owned the property or if he had a wife when he was having works carried out.

I confess to having done the same before now, but what really frustrates me is that their silly scripts don't appear to allow for independent thought ... introduce one of the usual objections and you can practically see the cogs whirring, as in "Now what did they say the response should be to this?"

So as you say it's worth getting creative, if only for the entertainment value

He's going to give you the "I can only do this special price if you sign today" line and he doesn't want to give you the opportunity to say you need to discuss it with your partner first! Been there, done that. Three hours of my life I'll never get back - I thought he was never going to leave and would have to offer him the spare bed! Ended up signing just to get him to leave and cancelling by phone the next day and then blocking his number!

Renovations like this require agreements from all household members, so they just save their time.

This works both ways for the boiler/kitchen/ double glazing salespeople. They want both homeowners present so they are not 'wasting their time'. I have been called in to several consultations my husband has had with said people. They want a sale, they don't want a 'I'll talk to my other half and get back to you', so they want you both there for the hard sell. It's how they work.

Was it walkers? I booked them and they kept addressing my friend that was there (an ex work colleague that had never even been to my house before). If they hadn’t been so much cheaper I wouldn’t have gone with them. Once they had been fitted I checked and one window was sticking so I called for them to come back, they suggested my husband checked it when he got home. I asked if they were suggesting I was weak or thick, they then said they could come in a week. (I owned the house alone and lived alone). When they returned they asked what I had done to it and suggested my husband “kept me away from the tool box”. When I got the paper work through for the warranty it was addressed to Mr .

Haha many years ago in my owned house I had a guy from famous named window company. Spent 2 hours going over everything with my. My then partner arrived. He didn’t love with me at the time but the guy wanted to start the sales pitch all over again. 🤦‍♀️ Took us ages to get rid of him.

But they dont

I have new windows, windows added to walls, a boiler moved, a whole new central heating system and radiators installed, solar panels, cavity wall insulation, a new roof etc all without ever having to wheel my DH out to give his agreement to any of it

I would not buy with them on principle. Would state why too

No it wouldn't. If a man opened the door, the salesman would assume he was the homeowner

When my husband got a bloke round to quote for windows I was out and the salesman said he'd come back when we were both here.

They do the same if it's the other way round. It's because you will be financing it so they need both parties present.

No it isn’t, one party is fully able to enter into the finance agreement themselves.

It’s just a hard sell tactic, pure and simple. So they can get a signature on the dotted line, without the excuse of ‘I need to check with my other half first’.

We weren't getting finance. In our current property,boss of double glazing company was a woman and quite happily dealt with just me.

They are clueless these double glazing sales people. We’re the only people with anthracite windows in our street, clearly new and the house had clearly had recent renovations as the render hadn’t yet been painted where it was repaired and a door bricked up. Man still knocked at the new composite door to try and make a sale 🤷‍♀️

A friend of mine had Anglian sales people out in the street. Man was looking up at her soffits and windows, pointing out a loads of faults. She feigned concern and said she’d like to speak to someone, he got on the phone to the office to book an appointment and told her a manager could be there in minutes. She made them a cuppa while they waited, he arrived and started conversing with the sales chap about all the problems wrong with the glazing and soffits. They hmmm, frown and tongue click, then tell her it’s going to be expensive. At which point she presents her warranty documents and tells them they’d better get them fixed 😄

I had this with a window firm, despite not being married and being the sole owner of the house. I just told them not to bother coming. Another company last minute said they would come later than arranged as now going somewhere else first they got told the same😂

He does sound sexist. I would not do business with him.
Funnily enough, my DH always says I'll need to check with my wife!

@enchantedsquirrelwood well I disagree as my husband expressed a vague interest in new windows last week and they said they'd only come back if I would be available too. So absolutely not sexist but bloody annoying.

Well it didn't work for the guy that came here because when him and my husband expected me to sit for an hour for a pitch is aid sorry I'd onthave the time to do that, he was already set up in the dining room.