DS’s friend damaged toy & hid it

[Snowstorming]

Just looking for advice on how to deal with this situation as I know kids are kids and I don’t want to make any child feel attacked or scared, but I also want to learn from what’s happened today

so my DS8 got a brand new gift today, roughly £18 toy from Smyths. Definitely a one off treat as I am really strapped for cash and can’t afford big treats regularly.

we came home as DS had a play date at our home with some friends. I stupidly left the toy out on the kitchen top. I now realise I should have taken responsibility and packed it away. However, the play date was due to take place in the garden, not home (think of a bunch of young lads just playing in the front garden with some snacks, all live locally like on the same road and same neighbourhood so no need to come inside really as their homes were closeby).

one of DSs friends went inside with my younger DS who is only 5 and convinced DS5 to tell them where some scissors are, then tried to open the new toy. They ended up cutting through the toy’s wiring and it no longer works. It’s never been used, brand new.

i didn’t know about this until DS8 noticed his toy was open on the table and the packaging all over the place, and saw the broken wire. DS5 admitted what happened and was adamant that DS friend cut it and then ran out of the house.

while this was happening, I was supervising outside and clearly missed them going into the house (it was a span of a few minutes as I clearly remember seeing them come outside and reminding them to play outside rather than go inside).

I don’t know what to do next. I will probably see DS8’s friend tomorrow as they live down the road from us and play together regularly although some of his behaviour has put me off previously (eg lying, inappropriate remarks, swearing etc).

should I speak to the child? Should I just consider this a lesson on being more safe and organised in future?

what would you do?

How very confusing.

"I didn’t know about this until DS8 noticed his toy was open on the table and the packaging all over the place, and saw the broken wire. DS5 admitted what happened and was adamant that DS friend cut it and then ran out of the house."

Why did ds5 have to admit anything if you saw it on the cam?

"Even the CCTV footage on our front garden shows DS5 leaving the house and the friend coming out a few mins later!"

Your 5 year old has lied hasn't he? Because if the CCTV shows him leaving the house and then the other one, how come he told you the 8 year old is the perp who ran out of the house after doing the deed? 🤔

Do the parents know you have cams and cctvs filming their children?

My money is even more on the 5 year old now. Because I don't believe the dripfeed for a second.

PS, in your OP you also say you saw them both coming out of the house and told them to play outside, so that's 3 versions now.

Why are you filming inside your house and do other people know this? Why didn’t you say this in the first post instead of saying your 5 year old ‘was adamant’ the other child did it, which is open for error?

If I was the other child’s parents I wouldn’t allow him back in your house. It’s creepy to be filming children.

Bit of a drip feed about the nanny cam and him having hit DS in a sneaky way.

Don’t allow that kid back inside. You could even say: no one goes in alone as last time we had a breakage which was upsetting.

Then forget it.

I’m typing from a phone and my message is clunky, I know, but I really wouldn’t lie to a bunch of random strangers about my kids lol. Even if my DS5 told me the alien goddesses came down and broke the toy and Santa Claus helped them hide it, I literally have a nanny cam which I checked and got to see what happened.

yes, I have a sign on my front door stating CCTV is on.

as for inside, children weren’t given permission to play indoors and it was DS’s friend who went inside unknowingly.

He wasn’t given permission to enter in the first place lol. He wouldn’t have been on the nanny cam if he hadn’t gone in my home without permission.

i have my reasons for having a nanny cam and I don’t think I need to justify that?

Why are you filming inside your house?

I'd go along to parents with the video and ask them to replace the toy.

Do your own children know they are being filmed constantly?

It’s not really a drip feed is it?

I have footage of an 8 year old breaking my child’s toy vs my 5 year old said it was him. The 2 versions aren’t really comparable.

as others have said you’re story is riddled with inconsistencies. If the child is as unpleasant as you describe why was a play date even happening?

I am leaning towards doing this! As I do feel like it was a major mistake from my side and I unknowingly provided an opppetunity for this to happen.

i just feel so crap about my DS8’s toy though, the poor kid was disappointed at bedtime 😔 once I’ve had a drink I’m definitely going to try to fix it!

If it’s literally a camera to film the nanny then you can’t be that cash strapped that an £18 toy will break the bank. Only well off people have Nannie’s

Why does it bother you?

yes they do, they know we have a nanny cam downstairs, it’s not exactly “hidden” lol it’s a literal camera.

The nanny cam is a pretty crucial piece of information you left out!

Regardless, I feel for your DS who didn’t deserve to have his new toy broken. However, the responsibility lies with you.

I use the term nanny cam as that is what it is usually called. my children dont actually have a nanny.

i am unfortunately cash-strapped, lol if i was loaded then trust me i would not be on here in my spare time 😅

How did ds2 know that friend had cut the wire if he left the house beforehand? If you did not want them in the house you should have closed the doors.

Well that's quite the drip!

I have multiple reasons and have done so for a long time, for reasons which I don’t really want to share explicitly but if you must know it is partly due to some traumatic and upsetting events that took place and that i
do not want to be repeated. x

The door was closed but not locked. We were in the front garden.

I would put this down to lesson learnt, be thankful it was only £18.

If you were looking after my 8 yr old, let him inside your house with scissors, unsupervised id be livid with you and not be letting my child to your house again tbh. Id also be weirded out that u had CCTV footage of it.

Also sounds like this child may have a difficult time at home (your reference to his poor behaviour and language) he may have been scared after breaking the toy as at home this has BIG consequences. I wouldn't add to it and move on with my life and replace the toy.

If it was my son who had done this, I would want to know, and it would want to reimburse you. Talk to the parents, unless they are the type scream at you to fuck off.

You are not coming across well here.

Leave it. The kid was just trying to open it. Far more worrying that you are filming them and conducting your own "investigation".

Apologies if my previous messages are unclear but DS5 was there during the process, I don’t think you can clearly 100% see the exact moment in which the wire was cut (due to the cardboard packaging) but you can see ‘it’ happening. DS5 was with the friend until they ran out and left them to it. Not sure if I’m explaining it properly.

dont worry I’m not saying I have golden children that can never speak a lie, otherwise I would’ve only taken my DS5’s word for it and not even bothered looking at the cam.