DS’s friend damaged toy & hid it

[Snowstorming]

Just looking for advice on how to deal with this situation as I know kids are kids and I don’t want to make any child feel attacked or scared, but I also want to learn from what’s happened today

so my DS8 got a brand new gift today, roughly £18 toy from Smyths. Definitely a one off treat as I am really strapped for cash and can’t afford big treats regularly.

we came home as DS had a play date at our home with some friends. I stupidly left the toy out on the kitchen top. I now realise I should have taken responsibility and packed it away. However, the play date was due to take place in the garden, not home (think of a bunch of young lads just playing in the front garden with some snacks, all live locally like on the same road and same neighbourhood so no need to come inside really as their homes were closeby).

one of DSs friends went inside with my younger DS who is only 5 and convinced DS5 to tell them where some scissors are, then tried to open the new toy. They ended up cutting through the toy’s wiring and it no longer works. It’s never been used, brand new.

i didn’t know about this until DS8 noticed his toy was open on the table and the packaging all over the place, and saw the broken wire. DS5 admitted what happened and was adamant that DS friend cut it and then ran out of the house.

while this was happening, I was supervising outside and clearly missed them going into the house (it was a span of a few minutes as I clearly remember seeing them come outside and reminding them to play outside rather than go inside).

I don’t know what to do next. I will probably see DS8’s friend tomorrow as they live down the road from us and play together regularly although some of his behaviour has put me off previously (eg lying, inappropriate remarks, swearing etc).

should I speak to the child? Should I just consider this a lesson on being more safe and organised in future?

what would you do?

No nanny?
So you just randomly film your children and whoever happens to be in your house...
Who does that? To what purpose?

I'm struggling to believe any of this, tbh.
Play dates for a group of kids and nobody allowed further than the front garden. Children filmed 24/7
😵‍💫

No nanny?
So you just randomly film your children and whoever happens to be in your house...
Who does that? To what purpose?

I'm struggling to believe any of this, tbh.
Play dates for a group of kids and nobody allowed further than the front garden. Children filmed 24/7
😵‍💫

Absolutely loads of people have cameras in their houses. It's not something I would want to do but people do. My next door neighbour has them because he ex husband is a nutter and he broke in to her previous house and beat her up.

I grew up on a suburban street where we were in and out of each others gardens all of the time but you just went home when you wanted to go to the toilet. I suppose it was a good way of touching base with your own parents.

lol exactly, I don’t usually entertain clowns but she’s giving me no choice, it’s ridiculous.

Put your thinking cap on then, love.

I have cameras in my house. I can keep an eye on my dog during the day and on the house while I'm on holiday. They cover the entrance area and the living rooms (none upstairs). I don't do it to record guests. If I felt the need to record guests I wouldn't invite them into my house in the first place. I've never once checked a camera while or after a guest had been to check what they've been up to.
Our area (Cotswolds village) has had a huge upturn in burglaries and other crimes over the past year and consequently loads of people have now invested in security cameras both outside and inside.

I have a pet cam 👍

If uninvited visitors come to our house it's their problem if they get filmed 🤷‍♀️

OP has already said that she has cameras as the result of a specific incident. Why do you need to know the reason ? It’s not illegal to film inside your own home and OP has signs up saying there are cameras.

OP if this poster isn’t monitoring every page herself, how does she know you are on every page ? Says more about her than you - it’s your thread !! And the same poster would probably be complaining if you hadn’t been back to respond. Don’t you hate the word ‘hun’ ?!!

Your comments are all really unpleasant. What is your problem, seriously? Do these comments make you feel clever? Give you a little thrill? Make you feel better about what’s going on in your life right now? It’s very strange.

@AlwaysEasyJet I will not accept being bullied by the OP, I will retaliate against her calling me "hun" passive abrasive and basically making up things that I've not done 🤷‍♀️!

I'll call it out.

@Rosscameasdoody the filter at the top indicated that op has posted 97 times! It's fair assumption that's at least one every page

Or you could move on and live your own life.

No one is bullying you. For whatever reason maybe something in your own life you take so much offense to this thread. Maybe time to take a break, relax, as they say touch the grass. I hope whatever is truly bothering you is resolved.

Well...

The OP explained why, they shouldn’t have to, but they did. You can of course disagree with that course of action but you have no idea what the trauma involved so I’ll leave to OP to decide what is best in dealing with that trauma for her family going forward. I’m then gobsmacked why the focus has been on that when it’s about the behaviour of an 8 yr old who was told not to go in the house, did just that, climbed up to get scissors IIRC and proceeded to open a toy that did not belong to him. From the off there was a disbelief that an 8 yr old actually did it as other posters suggested it was the 5 yr old.

I know AIBU is tough but it’s almost like a court of law on here!

Bullied? Do you know the meaning of the word? You started by being unpleasant and asking ridiculous questions and not letting up. The OP replied robustly and ended up with the ‘huns’ in response to your bizarre comments. You have made yourself look really silly on this thread.

Her first post to the OP was rude. I assume she was a troll as she was so over the top and involved with the thread but I've looked at her posting history and it seems she's a real poster who posts aggressively and with certainty that no other opinion can possibly be given. Mind blowing really.

i think she gets fixated on a topic and cannot let it go.

It's not pathetic. If you don't trust the kid, then don't let him in your house. It's simple really. Either he stays in the garden or doesn't come.

You don't need to "keep an eye on the dog", that's advertising that makes people want to do that.
But obviously that's up to you! It's really quite rude to film guests though. You could just switch the camera off when you're at home.

Bullied how ironic coming from the poster who:

Berated the OP for posting multiple times on her own thread.

Fabricated that OP having a nanny cam means the children are ‘controlled and viewed’.

Bragged that you are employed and therefore ‘not hard up’ trying to make the OP feel even more shit about not having disposable income.

Suggesting that the OPs home is a ‘cluttered nightmare’.

I think it’s obvious to see who the bully is on this thread…..

I have a toddler and we have a nanny so do have a nanny cam, it was here before she started and is fine with it. In fact almost all our friends who have little kids have this around their homes. I don't think this is abnormal.

I would definitely let the parents know. What do you have to lose? He sounds like a brat so maybe it's best if they are not friends. My own ds is 8, and he would never do something like this. We've had tons of play dates and none of the kids have been so forward and naughty so I don't think this is normal behaviour.

I have a toddler and we have a nanny so do have a nanny cam, it was here before she started and is fine with it. In fact almost all our friends who have little kids have this around their homes. I don't think this is abnormal.

I understand why you would have one to keep an eye on the nanny ( although shouldn't be needed,). Do all your friends have nannies? If not, why do they record everything that happens in their own house?

I understand why you would have one to keep an eye on the nanny ( although shouldn't be needed,). Do all your friends have nannies? If not, why do they record everything that happens in their own house?

She doesn't have to tell you this. She's said she has a reason.

My friend has one because she came home from a night out and there was a man in her bedroom who had broken in.

It makes her feel safer if her camera has detected no movement when she is out.

Hope this is ok with you.

Bit snarky, @RoastLambs ? Who asked you?