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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why are you long term Single?

244 replies

Aquarius1234 · 01/04/2024 16:18

Answers on a postcard..

What's the main reason you are actually long term single?
And do you judge others that are also?

OP posts:
AwfulSomething · 01/04/2024 16:19

Because I enjoy being single, I couldn’t care less about other people’s relationships.

Springisnear4 · 01/04/2024 16:23

Because I hate everything about online dating and it seems to be the only way people meet now.

ChedderGorgeous · 01/04/2024 16:25

Having some varied after work hobbies I think is a great way to meet interesting people. I agree about the pitfalls of online dating and people who just hate it, including me. Good luck OP!

QueenOfTheEntireFuckingUniverse · 01/04/2024 16:27

I want to be.

No I don't judge others.

Precipice · 01/04/2024 16:28

There isn't anyone I want to spend all that time with.

Fridgefreezermagnets · 01/04/2024 16:28

Because I've had two abusive relationships.
Because I'm disabled and unable to work the little energy I have needs to be put into my dc. I wouldn't want a relationship where there's a power imbalance/they become my carer.
Because I realised I don't ever want to live with someone that is not my dc ever again.
Because I'm a people pleaser and will just be walked all over.

PolarPandaBear · 01/04/2024 16:28

Because I'm a lone parent and have my kids full time. Not a choice for me. Wouldn't say I was judged I feel more judged for wanting to date.

Deebee90 · 01/04/2024 16:31

Because I don’t trust easily.

PurpleSky300 · 01/04/2024 16:31

All of these

  • Low self-esteem, don't find it easy to meet people
  • Don't like sex / don't like feeling pressured for sex
  • I like to run my own life and relationships feel like endless compromise
  • Online dating is a bear pit
  • I always felt like I pursued 'meh' relationships to keep up appearances
  • Honestly I just like my own company
Iheartmysmart · 01/04/2024 16:31

Because I have a good job, a car, my own flat, hobbies, some really good friends and am enjoying my life. Unless I find a man who will enhance this, I’m really not interested.

olivebranch31 · 01/04/2024 16:32

Because I don't want to deal with another man child

vodkaredbullgirl · 01/04/2024 16:36

Like my own space
My own money
Prefer to sleep alone, apart from the dogs on the bed
Do what I want when I want
Don't want a man child
Work nights
Too tired to try dating again
List is endless 😁

Auburngal · 01/04/2024 16:39

Had an ex OH for 4.5 years. Been single since Aug ‘07.

It hasn’t bothered me that I’m single. My life is better without a OH.

shellyleppard · 01/04/2024 16:39

Because I like being on my own....no one complaining when I hog the bed/duvet. Also as previous posters have said dating is mainly online now and I just can't be arsed with it

Almostwelsh · 01/04/2024 16:40

I just haven't met anyone who wants to go out with me.

Original poster
Aquarius1234 · 01/04/2024 16:41

Springisnear4 · 01/04/2024 16:23

Because I hate everything about online dating and it seems to be the only way people meet now.

Absolutely online dating is just a massive waste of time.

OP posts:
DimplesToadfoot · 01/04/2024 16:41

My ex broke my jaw, ribs, cheekbone, knocked out a few teeth, trashed my house, nearly killed my dog and left us both for dead on the floor.

My kids dad mentally and physically abused me until I thought I was worth nothing still think that tbh

I'm a bad judge of men, or is it me, I deserve it?

I'm so done with people hurting me, so I stay single, I actually quite like it :-)

PollyannaWhittier · 01/04/2024 16:42

I've never been attracted to anybody, and (presumably) nobody's ever been attracted to me.

Umbongowasyuk · 01/04/2024 16:43

I became a lone parent during pregnancy. Children are 11 now and have never wanted another relationship.

Longlazyday · 01/04/2024 16:44

@Almostwelsh Honest. Same here. No one wants a relationship with me. Shame 🫤

FabulousWealthyTart · 01/04/2024 16:45

Because it's pure bliss.

xSideshowAuntSallyx · 01/04/2024 16:47

Because my ex did a hatchet job on me(he was abusive) and I refuse to settle for anyone but Mr Perfect (for me before anyone says anything) now. It also takes a lot for me to trust a man and let them in.

That and I can't be arsed with online dating and have a busy demanding job so don't feel like going out in the evenings to meet yet another random man who I won't fancy.

There is someone I fancy so I may have to become less of a hermit.

2anddone · 01/04/2024 16:47

I've done too many safeguarding courses to risk bringing a strange man into my house while my dc were young.

I escaped an emotionally and financially abusive relationship

I don't want to have to have sex on demand

I don't trust easily thanks to being cheated on

I would rather spend time with my children

I don't want to risk my relationship with my children (15 and 18) by bringing home and none they don't like.

I don't want to deal with a man child.

Single since 2013...ex husband kept me sleeping with him until 2019 with promise we might get back together....just started seeing someone in last week who knows how this will go!!

2anddone · 01/04/2024 16:48

That should say someone they don't like!!

wombleberry · 01/04/2024 16:49

AwfulSomething · 01/04/2024 16:19

Because I enjoy being single, I couldn’t care less about other people’s relationships.

Nailed it :)