Why are you long term Single?

[Aquarius1234]

Answers on a postcard..

What's the main reason you are actually long term single?
And do you judge others that are also?

Because after getting divorced at 49 - and now being 55 - I find myself in a romance free zone -probably linked to my age. If someone did appear out of nowhere I wouldn’t know how to handle it as I am very self-conscious, and also somewhat damaged by my marriage.

I think men also leave a lot to be desired - generalisation I know.

Changing hormones have meant that I don’t really care - except that sometimes I remember / do, and it can be quite painful. My marriage was my one and only relationship and it was a rubbish one - it would be nice to know what a truly loving relationship could be like.

I don’t think about other people’s marital status apart from sometimes feeling sorry for people who seem to be in bad relationships and being relieved that I am no longer in one.

Nothing worse than being in the same bed as someone and feeling alone.

@zendeveloper am sure some of us would like to give you a message of hope..if you're not old there's always a chance of meeting someone 👍 but i guess this thread is all about the present instance, ie now.

Because I came out of a 25 year relationship very bruised, am single parenting two children, am also caring for ex who has developed young onset Alzheimers, am now getting old, have cats, and don't have the energy or the motivation.

Because I want to be.

I don't want to put the effort into another person. I don't want to commit to someone. I don't want to share my space.

I'm 6 years single after leaving my ex, remaining so (and celibate) because life is easier this way.
I make poor choices in partners - walking/talking red flags - and after having twin daughters, raising them on my own, working really hard to improve my mental and physical health and SO much more, I found myself content for the first time in my life.
I don’t have the capacity to invite a man or woman into my life, even now, as I realised 2 or so years ago that I rather enjoy being on my own with my daughters and our sociopathic cats.

I had a really bad breakup last year with someone I thought was perfect who lied to me

I hate dating

Have chronic illnesses which leave me fatigued and can't see who would want me when I can't always do stuff

Size 16 and red hair, not the best combination and I seem to attract men who don't want to be seen with an obese person but think they're fine to shag

Nobody deserves that. Don’t think that for a minute.

There's a big difference between finding you are happier on your own and having no wish to love and be loved. I think most people here like the idea of the latter but have found the reality of being in a relationship makes them unhappy and they have therefore made a truce with singleness, rather than actively seeking out the state.

I have been married twice, both were abusive. Online dating is shit. The more time I am single the less appealing a relationship is.

Thank you, it is very kind! I am not young (approaching forty). A good male friend suggested that I look at the 60+ age category - I am not adverse to the idea, but it does feel like such relationship will have quite a few limitations due to the gap. Maybe I am overthinking this.

Because I like watching Toy Story and Wall-e, even though I am nearly 50.

I don't know, very used to living alone.

Ive been single since pregnancy with my now four year old. My ex was abusive and I’m still dealing with a lot of trauma and no way in hell I’d ever be able to trust another person. But also, I realised that since I was a teen I always revolved my life around a partner - I’d make myself suffer if it meant my partner was happy. Plus during the time I’ve been single I’ve loved my life, I’ve not felt suffocated and I’ve learnt a lot about self love and that that kind love is so much better than seeking love from another.

They might not necessarily say what's for dinner, they might make it for you.

You’re in your late 30s and someone’s suggesting you look at men old enough to be your father? That’s absolutely ridiculous.

I prefer my own company
No need to have another adult in my life - am financially stable, own my own home, have a good job.
There is no man that I would risk my DCs happiness for
Never understood women who bring a strange man into their children's home.

I just couldn't be arsed. Waxing, shaving, make-up, dieting, socialising, compromising, negotiating.. etc... I just can't be bothered.

I have high self-worth (not in an arrogant way) and I just haven’t t met anyone that enhances my life enough (not that I’m looking🤣)

But mainly, I have aDD 7 and my job is to provide her with a happy& stable upbringing. I’ve lived many years putting myself first and now I have to put my DD first.

I have my own house, financially stable with good friends & a busy life and I really like my own company.

Because I have cats

Cats > relationship

Because most of the man I meet now aged 40. 50 yrs . What a FWB or a bit on the side ..

I've been single so long. I dont think I could manage having a full on romantic relationship.
I think the only thing I could offer would be friendship and I just don't think single men want friendship long-term?
Someone to do stuff with but not see more than every other weekend for example.

Same.

Please don’t blame yourself. No situation we end up in EVER should result in rape.

I adore your name btw.

Because I love being single, and tbh I doubt I could find a man who I could gel with. I never really got used to being married, and have spent far more years single than as part of a couple.

Yes, that would suit me. I just don't want to share my whole life, or my flat, with anyone else.