Why are you long term Single?

[Aquarius1234]

Answers on a postcard..

What's the main reason you are actually long term single?
And do you judge others that are also?

Just lucky I guess 😂

I think everyone should experience being single for at least a year.
There are loads of 20/ 30 somethings that will probably never be single again.

That's kinda a shame imo, I think society makes you feel that it's negative being single long term .

Because despite two good long term relationships, single (and childfree) is how I am happiest.

11th year single for me. I ended up with PTSD from my divorce which was utterly horrific. I will never trust anybody again. I'd never bring somebody into my children's lives. I've made peace with that now. Also I see so many of my friends in utterly shit marriages or relationships and there is no way I'd put myself in that position. It's not worth it.

Too busy. DD/Dogs/horses/work

Too independent.

Love my own space too much nowadays

Can't actually remember why I used to bother with men at all! Had LTRs most of my adult life.

Don't miss it at all.

I'm in the process of leaving my abusive 8 year relationship and I'm loving reading all of these!
I cannot wait to never have to live with another man again.
In fact I'd be very happy to stay single forever and not have anyone have any say over my life again 💪🏻

Couldn't agree more. I'm pitied by people who haven't been single since their teenage years. What's there to pity? My life is bliss thanks very much

Life is just better when I can do what you want, when I want. I watch the films I want, go to the theatre I want, listen to the music I want. I can see who I want, when I want. I don't need to take anyone else's opinion into account.

I just don't really see how a relationship would benefit me.

Because I got my heart broken then got a chronic illness. Online dating seems a huge waste of my limited energy and honestly, I'm not really over my ex even years later. It all just seems a huge effort and beyond my grasp to find anyone worth it.

I think I value simplicity and calm over romance these days.

I do feel alone though.

Yes I found in the past you either get serial daters or those that want to be long term quickly and serious 24/ 7 also hinting that sex should be the priority.
Nothing in between.
I might have done better if I was born in a different decade.. no Internet.

Single mum with no time to date even if I wanted to, and TBH I don't want to - I like being able to what I like, when I like (as much as you can with kids) and not having to consider what someone else thinks about it (again, apart from the kids)

When I consider it, my nose wrinkles up involuntarily - I just don't think that the benefits of having a partner is worth the hassle of one.

Indeed tho I did used to like having the odd friend to do those things with. Don't seem to now.

I met my ‘best’ partners in real-life situations such as hobby groups and at bars etc.
OLD isn’t for everyone, and that’s fine. 😄

I've had a couple of short relationships through my forties and have come to the conclusion it's not worth it. They wanted to be in my pocket the whole time. I have DC, and I'm very independent. I wanted to date and have the fun, good bits, but they wanted to insert themselves into the fabric of my life. It was too much.

Preference. I love men, don’t get me wrong, just didn’t meet anyone I could face 24/7 with. Luck of draw - long term winner seems to be me tho’.

Got cat. Cat lovely 24/7.

I don’t think I’m straight, possibly gay, possibly asexual but not completely sure. Definitely no interest in sex with men. Even if I knew what I wanted in terms of dating I have lots of issues (autism, adhd, mental health issues plus I’m not at all attractive) which mean I don’t think I am dateable, I’m socially awkward. I am also poor at putting in boundaries, I put myself in a position with a man which ended with me being raped several years ago so I’m scared to put myself in a situation like that again by dating someone I don’t know. I have kind of accepted I will be alone forever now, it’s miserable and lonely and not how I thought my life would turn out but it is what it is.

Because after 10 years in a relationship that got progressively worse, followed by various lodgings & sharings until I managed to buy my own flat, I know that I’ll always be happiest & healthiest single. And while I have a pretty good social life, I simply couldn’t face the idea of anyone else living in my home. Not unless they’re a cat.

Because no other person, man or woman, is worth giving up my peace for. Simple.

Big health problem up until 20 years ago, I'm 64 now. It's too late for me, I accept it. Used to be bitter back in the day but not now.
Besides that female friends tell me 'they're not worth it..😕

Can’t be bothered to shave my armpits and all that

I think unless you’re really lucky it’s almost impossible to meet the right person once you get past your mid forties or so. So many of my friends have met men online and settled because they don’t want to be alone, and honestly the men they’re saddled with are enough to make any sane person be happy to be single. Being on your own can feel scary to begin with but I think once you get used to it it’s difficult to let go of. I mean - why would anyone want to give up their indepenence? Seems crazy to me now!

And yes, I do of course have cats 🙂

Cos I just can't be arsed right now. If I did meet someone, they'd have to be absolutely amazing for me to consider it! I've a male best mate who's an ex. We get the fun bits without a relationship, and I get to go home to my own space and bed, just how I like it.

Have you read some of the posts on here?
I feel sorry for the idiots that live with controlling misogynist twats TBH.

Cos no one will have me 🤣 But seriously, I love being single and reading mumsnet threads about how miserable people are with their husbands/boyfriends/partners, doesn't make me yearn for someone.

In the words of Billie a la the 90's "because we want to!"

Also don't need a man and can hire one for any jobs I don't want to do for less hassle than having a relationship with one...although could contemplate a relationship with a builder for the duration of my extension build if he helped build it, but not sure that would align with my moral standards 🤔