Why are you long term Single?

[Aquarius1234]

Answers on a postcard..

What's the main reason you are actually long term single?
And do you judge others that are also?

I haven't met anyone who's piqued my interest enough to follow that through to anything more.

No I wouldn't judge anyone else's Eternal Singledom.

Just to add, that as a single woman, of course I don't judge other single women.

My dc have special needs and it was difficult to find childcare. They are older now but still hard work and I don’t think anyone else would put up with them! If it was just me I would definitely have met someone after I divorced. I did try online dating and met a lot of men but couldn’t fit them around my commitments.

I find men extremely unattractive.

I definitely wouldn’t ’judge’ anybody for being single. Everyone’s circumstances are different and that’s their business.

I have been single for just over a year after a 20 year marriage.

I have been on three dates. They were ok.

But I don't really want to lose my singledom actually. Not even for casual dating.

And after reading some of the stories on this thread, I think I will stay single and even if for the rest of my life, I don't mind.

However, do you think more and more women will choose the single path leaving more and more men wondering where the hell we all are?

Because I don't trust anyone
Because I've not met anyone to change that mindset
Because I'm happy on my own
Because I don't need drama in my life
Because I don't go very far to meet any men
Because I won't allow anyone to take away my security or peace of mind
Because I've worked hard to finish my mortgage , raise my children , accomplish my career to a level I'm happy with
Because I enjoy doing as I wish , when I wish
Because I'm probably a little bit fucked up so I'd not upset another person with that baggage

2 reasons

1. i don't trust myself to be able to tell the difference between a nice person and a narcissist

2. I have a teenager with autism and it makes dating pretty much impossible

Because I can't be arsed. It's too much hassle. I have many lovely women friends who keep me busy socially, I haven't got time to add a man into that equation.

OLD put me off men totally, I do t want all the crap getting to know you stuff, i have an autistic teen so dating wouldn't work for us as I'd prefer to set her an example of how a good relationship looks

Online dating is horrific and meeting anyone in real life as a single parent seems impossible. But having said that, I like being single. I don't want anyone else living here and I like my bed to myself.

Because I'm autistic, am very intelligent but have never had the meaningful career to go with it. So, many of the kind of men that are my intellectual equals are looking for a woman who has achieved more in life. And I've got to have an intellectual equal.

Plus....the ones I like don't like me. I don't like the ones that like me (except for one. Incredible intellectual and physical attraction. And a raging dumpster fire of an alcoholic 😪).

It's also tricky only having every other weekend to date. The men who understand this set up most are the committed fathers that have their kids a lot. And we invariably always seem to be on opposite weekends....🤦‍♀️

I'll add another few things into the mix (I'm on a roll)

1. All of my friends in their 40s and 50s say that if they found themselves single, they wouldn't bother again (they have the type of husband who is "alright really, it's just that ...") All of the husbands are selfish and don't pull their weight. My Mum even says that if she had found herself single in her 40s, she wouldn't have bothered trying to find a new man.

1. A few months after splitting up with my daughters Dad, I changed my FB status to 'single' I got eight PMs that night offering to keep me company / service my needs!! 7 of those mesaages were from men who were married (colleagues, acquaintances, neighbours, an ex member of staff!)

1. Until recently, I was still friendly with my ex husband. The last time I saw him, he bragged about the affair he was having, and opined about his new wife's low self esteem.

1. A male friend of mine also bragged about having affairs with two younger women at the same time. Both of which he'd slept with in the home he and his partner shared. These women both worked at the same place as him and his partner. His partner found out and forgave him, then married him. The last time I saw her, she remarked that she was always fearful that he would leave her.

Why am I gonna be long term single (forever),
when not married anymore (whichever way)?
Because I prefer my own company, my own living space, am child free and repulsed by most men.
44yo.
😁

For me it is a bit different to the rest of the thread contributors. I am open to a relationship (single for nearly 10 years now), but men are just not interested in me (never have been - I am not attractive at all). I feel a bit envious of those of you who are single by choice, but still have alternatives if you want it.

I was single for my whole life til I met my husband so not technically single now but have a lot of single experience 🤣

I found that it wasn’t actually that easy to go from speaking to a guy/seeing a guy/dating to actually being in a relationship. I had quite a few people over the years that I was seeing but not one of them ever crossed the line and became a relationship. I wasn’t desperately unhappy being single though. I was really used to it and couldn’t imagine living with someone or seeing someone all the time. There are more people than you think who have never actually been in a relationship but have been ‘seeing’ people

You're really not different to the rest of the posters👍

• Can’t be arsed.
• Most of my friends (both male and female) seem utterly miserable in their marriage.
• It’s much more common to be single or divorced. That means there isn’t such a stigma, and there are plenty of single or childfree people to knock around with.
• The vast majority of men just aren’t worth the effort.
• I felt lonelier in my last relationship than I ever have when living alone.

You aren't alone in this thread, there are others that have said similar.

And to be honest, it's good that I'm happy being single because I'm not exactly 'a catch' - I suspect my options would be very limited, if there were any at all, nowadays.

This. I'm much happier now I'm single. I'm not really interested by what other people choose to do.

Because I'm not good at most types of long term relationships, I'm easily bored. I have one very happy relationship, but it's with my adult child.

as long as the folk I love are happy I don't give a single thought to their relationship status.

^ Yes, this, completely!

because I love being single and am most happy when I live on my own and am in total control of my own life and family

Same here, My husband died and 16 years ago and I still miss him. He was lovely but had an illness that meant caring for a long time. I could not go through that again and have pleased myself for 16 years. I am set in my ways and I am very happy to be single. Men come with baggage that I don’t want to take on.

Because I love my own space, and the longer I've been single the less willing to compromise I am.

I love my life with DD (11). Even if I dated, no one will meet her.

I love picking holidays with zero discussion with anyone other than DD. We do exactly what we love.

I have a great career, my own house, a great pension. I've just watched two of my female friends be screwed over in divorce. I have no interest in being a financial support for anyone else.

I don't want to be a step parent again. Love my SS from my marriage to DDs dad, but I have no interest in that again. Loads of guys out there are just looking for someone to take that role on.

I can go to bed at 6pm with a book and a glass of wine without having to debate with anyone.

I can adopt as many cats as I like.

I just bloody love my life as is. I'm not prepared to wade through tons of dross to maybe find someone who I might be vaguely interested in.