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AIBU?

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Original poster

Dss doesn’t want to take part in Easter egg hunt

280 replies

Ohitsallbullshit · 30/03/2024 10:22

I am hosting an Easter egg hunt today for approx 20 children aged 7-13. They are my dc, nephews, nieces and friends dc. Dss is 11, has known most of these children for at lease 6 years, some since he was born.
He has just said he doesn’t want to do the hunt as doesn’t like them. He will sit in his room and game for the time our friends and family are here.

Aibu to say he won’t get any extra eggs and sweets then? I have hidden approx 80 small plastic eggs with sweets and chocolate inside them and they all have a mini eggs boxed egg to take home also.

he already has 4 larger eggs and some money from family and goes to his mums tomorrow. Plus he’s over weight but he will be upset if he doesn’t get the extra the others will get by running around the garden searching.

OP posts:
Tagyoureit · 30/03/2024 10:24

Leave him to it, he knows the kids he knows what he's missing out on so what else can you do?

You can't cancel it now so you have to go ahead.

Lead a horse to water and all that.

Caluse · 30/03/2024 10:24

I would say he doesn't have to join in but he doesn't get to game or do any tech, and he doesn't get any eggs from the hunt if he doesn't do it. He can read a book if he doesn't want to join in.

MrsSkylerWhite · 30/03/2024 10:25

At 11, he knows his own mind.

Sounds like you don’t like him very much, either?

Clearinguptheclutter · 30/03/2024 10:26

Fine to not join in but no extra chocolate eggs for him

BeeCucumber · 30/03/2024 10:28

You don’t like him and he doesn’t like you or your plans for forced Easter fun. Leave him alone in his room. I feel sorry for him.

Presentbutnostalgic · 30/03/2024 10:29

If this was my own child I'd probably just tell them they had to join in. Unless there was a very good reason why they didn't want to?

Berlinlover · 30/03/2024 10:29

At 11 he’s too old for an Easter egg hunt. Leave him be.

NuffSaidSam · 30/03/2024 10:29

It's fine to not give him any eggs from the Easter Egg hunt, those are for the people participating in the egg hunt. I wouldn't make him feel and about it though or hold it as a punishment for not taking part.

The reference to his weight was unnecessary, maybe have a think about why you included that.

NuffSaidSam · 30/03/2024 10:30

Caluse · 30/03/2024 10:24

I would say he doesn't have to join in but he doesn't get to game or do any tech, and he doesn't get any eggs from the hunt if he doesn't do it. He can read a book if he doesn't want to join in.

Why can't he game?

Why is reading a punishment?!

BeaRF75 · 30/03/2024 10:31

That seems a reasonable choice for an 11 year old, tbh.

WandaWonder · 30/03/2024 10:31

Caluse · 30/03/2024 10:24

I would say he doesn't have to join in but he doesn't get to game or do any tech, and he doesn't get any eggs from the hunt if he doesn't do it. He can read a book if he doesn't want to join in.

That is ridiculous poor kid

Original poster
Ohitsallbullshit · 30/03/2024 10:31

@MrsSkylerWhite how does it sound as if I don’t like him? I wouldn’t let my dc sit in their room all day gaming and hand them a load of sweets and chocolate, it’s doesn’t mean I don’t like them. his dad isn’t here this morning as working so I’m not going to cause an argument about how he should come
and socialise.

it’s not the dc he doesn’t like, more that he can’t be bothered to get dressed and go it side to look for them.

i actually do like him, I love both of my dsc very much, I do a lot with them and care very much about their well-being

OP posts:
Iwantmyoldnameback · 30/03/2024 10:31

I don't find it strange an 11 year old boy doesn't want to take part in an Easter egg hunt.

Mannikin · 30/03/2024 10:32

I’d give him a mini eggs boxed egg but probably not anything else… would also try and check on him and make sure he’s okay as, for whatever reason, he clearly isn’t feeling as though he fits in with the others. I’d also be extremely careful that he doesn’t become aware of your opinion that he’s overweight - wondering if perhaps there have been some tactless comments re this that are making him what to stay out of it. Actually I think he’s being very considerate- he doesn’t want to join in but isn’t expecting you to do anything different, just taking himself off to occupy himself, that’s a fairly mature approach for an 11 year old.

NuffSaidSam · 30/03/2024 10:32

Presentbutnostalgic · 30/03/2024 10:29

If this was my own child I'd probably just tell them they had to join in. Unless there was a very good reason why they didn't want to?

Why does he need 'a very good reason'?

Is 'its supposed to be fun, but I don't find it fun' a good enough reason?

And do you apply this same rule to yourself i.e. you're not allowed to opt out of fun activities unless you have a very good reason?

bradpittsbathwater · 30/03/2024 10:32

I can see why an 11 year old isn't massively excited about an Easter egg hunt. He should be allowed to decide if he takes part or not.

InTheShallowTheShalalalalalalalow · 30/03/2024 10:32

Why have you included that comment about his weight?

Honestly, 11yo kid doesn't want to do what the younger kids are doing- quite normal.

An adult throwing in an unnecessary comment about a child's weight - not so normal.

crumblingschools · 30/03/2024 10:32

Why did you need to tell us he is overweight @Ohitsallbullshit

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 30/03/2024 10:33

Caluse · 30/03/2024 10:24

I would say he doesn't have to join in but he doesn't get to game or do any tech, and he doesn't get any eggs from the hunt if he doesn't do it. He can read a book if he doesn't want to join in.

Why would you try to force someone to read as a punishment? It’s his holiday too, if he doesn’t want to play it’s up to him. I wouldn’t give him eggs from the hunt though, can’t have it both ways.

MrsCrumPinnett · 30/03/2024 10:33

Aren’t egg hunts for little children who believe they’ve been brought by the Easter bunny? I think 11 is probably too old to want to participate.

Hadalifeonce · 30/03/2024 10:34

Of course he doesn't get any eggs from the hunt if he doesn't participate.

VickyEadieofThigh · 30/03/2024 10:34

This thread (the OP) fills me with despair.

He clearly doesn't see this Easter 'fun' as fun any more. Leave him be - what's the point in trying to force a kid into participating in something like this?

Octonaut4Life · 30/03/2024 10:34

It's rude of him and I wouldn't let him game, the WiFi would definitely be off for the duration. However kids at that age can start getting a bit of social anxiety and I wonder if that could be contributing. Have you discussed with him? Maybe he would feel more comfortable joining in if you gave him a specific role so he knows what to expect/can be slightly on the sidelines, especially if he's one of the older ones. For instance could he be asked to help the youngest kids to make sure they all get something, or could you put him in charge of hiding the eggs or handing out the baskets etc as a different way to get involved?

MolkosTeenageAngst · 30/03/2024 10:34

I think it’s fine for him not to join in, but also completely reasonable that in that case he doesn’t get any of the chocolate. The whole point of an Easter egg hunt is to find the chocolate eggs, if he doesn’t find any obviously he doesn’t get any. I would just explain this to him and then let him make his own decision.

HummingbirdChandelier · 30/03/2024 10:34

He’s old for an Easter egg hunt so his choice seems reasonable. Perhaps he’s also self conscious about his weight? Embarrassed to be seeking sweets, especially if the others are slim.

The pps suggestions of punishments are horrible. Just be nice to him

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