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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dss doesn’t want to take part in Easter egg hunt

280 replies

Ohitsallbullshit · 30/03/2024 10:22

I am hosting an Easter egg hunt today for approx 20 children aged 7-13. They are my dc, nephews, nieces and friends dc. Dss is 11, has known most of these children for at lease 6 years, some since he was born.
He has just said he doesn’t want to do the hunt as doesn’t like them. He will sit in his room and game for the time our friends and family are here.

Aibu to say he won’t get any extra eggs and sweets then? I have hidden approx 80 small plastic eggs with sweets and chocolate inside them and they all have a mini eggs boxed egg to take home also.

he already has 4 larger eggs and some money from family and goes to his mums tomorrow. Plus he’s over weight but he will be upset if he doesn’t get the extra the others will get by running around the garden searching.

OP posts:
LameBorzoi · 30/03/2024 20:58

godmum56 · 30/03/2024 17:34

lets put this comment to a different scenario....say....oh....a BDSM party? Still think people should try it?

Show quote history

That's a straw man argument

NonPlayerCharacter · 30/03/2024 21:00

godmum56 · 30/03/2024 17:34

lets put this comment to a different scenario....say....oh....a BDSM party? Still think people should try it?

Show quote history

Holy ridiculous false equivalence, Batman!

(Or maybe your Easter egg hunts are just really wild?)

Redmat · 30/03/2024 21:13

Any excuse to game. His mental health is not going to suffer because hes asked to join in with a family activity ( or to watch from the sidelines) . That's complete rubbish.
Only in the last few years have children called the shots in just about every situation.

godmum56 · 01/04/2024 18:59

alfagirl73 · 30/03/2024 15:58

I hate organised activities like this - always have done. Any kind of "forced fun" is a no-no for me. Here's the thing though - I do like just chilling, hanging out with people at a party, watching others enjoy themselves, and just chatting and relaxing. I'm very happy with that.

Thing is that people tend not to accept that you're perfectly happy and will go on and on to get you to do whatever it is they think you should be doing because it's "FUN!" (except it's fun to them, not to you!).

I wonder if there is a history here of this boy wanting to just chill and socialise in a relaxed "non-forced-fun-activity" way but when he attempts to do so, he gets a lot of pressure to participate in whatever activity is going on? This happened to me a lot as a kid and as a result, there were a few times I'd retreat off to a quiet place because it got so tiresome.

I wonder if he'd be happy just chilling and socialising without participating in the egg hunt (I'd have LOATHED this - chocolate or not!) - but he is saying he wants to go off and game because he knows if he tries to socialise without doing the hunt, he will get endless hassle about it until he feels forced to participate. And even if not forced to do it, I can just hear him getting the endless "oh but you won't get any eggs! you won't get any treats! Look at everyone else! Look at all their eggs! You missed out! Why aren't you joining in? it's fun!" - rather than just enjoying socialising with the boy in a pleasant way.

Just because you've arranged the activity and YOU think it's fun - doesn't mean it's fun to everyone. Just because he's a kid doesn't mean he'll enjoy things that other kids enjoy.

As for should he get eggs? Well - he's not stupid - he knows the eggs are for the hunt right? So don't bang on about it. If if were me I'd hold a couple back for him just to be nice - it doesn't have to turn into such a big drama or big lecture to the boy.

oh my goodness yes.....like you HAVE to come and dance....you HAVE to do karaoke

Gwenhwyfar · 02/04/2024 10:37

Redmat · 30/03/2024 21:13

Any excuse to game. His mental health is not going to suffer because hes asked to join in with a family activity ( or to watch from the sidelines) . That's complete rubbish.
Only in the last few years have children called the shots in just about every situation.

It's a little kiddies' activity rather than a family activity though isn't it? It'd be different if he was refusing to come out from his room for a special Easter lunch, but an egg hunt shouldn't be compulsory.

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