For DH to insist on vaginal birth not ceasarean

[Anguish]

Asking for a friend. Why would he care either way? She has a low pain tolerance and doesn't want to experience the most painful thing that can happen to a woman.

EDIT: He's absolutely lovely and basically a perfect partner in every conceivable way, which is why it's slightly out of character.

[DanaBarrett]

Her vagina, her business.

[Mallani]

If he's the one giving birth he gets to choose. Otherwise, it's 100% up to her.

[EspressoMacchiato]

No uterus, no opinion

[OhBeAFineGuyKissMe]

Her birth her choice, however a c-section is not pain free by any means. You have major abdominal surgery that takes weeks/ months to recover and is painful for far longer (not as intense).

[Rickrolypoly]

Insist??? Or what?

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Yes - no uterus, no opinion.

He can 'insist' all he wants - if he tried it with me, he'd be 'insisting' his way right out of the relationship.

[Wibblywobblylikejelly]

He can decide on any pregnancy and labour that he has.

Otherwise he can fuck off

Keep that friend very close and watch carefully. A man like that is a red flag. Could be he's just a dick. But could be a lot more.

[StripeyDeckchair]

When he gives birth he can make whatever choices he likes otherwise he needs to STFU & be eternally grateful that someone is willing to have a child with him & put their body through that.

Tosser.

[PurplePanda1]

Not his business. Why is your friend letting her DH influence her decision? Not even influence but “insist”?

[CheeseSandwichRiskAssessment]

Lol. He can get fucked.

[PoochiesPinkEars]

I don't think any woman should be put under pressure to have birth in a way that is not if her choosing. It's a shitty way to start your experience of motherhood, immediately stripped of her own agency.
Stamping his mark on their joint parenting approach somewhat isn't he.

[Funfuninthesunsun]

Is he a commander in Gilead?

[AnyDayAnyWay]

The only person who gets to insist on anything is the woman giving birth.

[pickledandpuzzled]

I’d ask what his concerns are so I can take it into account when making MY decision.

[Immemorialelms]

It's her choice and there are lots of good reasons why she might not be confident that the system will support her to have a good vaginal birth - women are massively let down when giving birth, often have more pain that necessary.

But if there is no medical reason why CS is needed, I reckon I would encourage my partner to find out about epidurals, good birthing positions, NCT, all that stuff - to avoid having a massive big hole cut in you that might not be necessary. I would find out all I could about birth and help reassure her that I would be there to advocate for what she needed and not let anyone leave her in pain.

But then, once I'd encouraged her, I would shut up.

[LadyTiredWinterBottom2]

Why is she even with this control freak?

[StaySpicy]

Everything everyone has already said.

It's her body, she can choose. He should be thankful he has a partner in a position to, hopefully, have a healthy baby. How the baby is born really doesn't have any bearing on that fact. And he certainly doesn't get to insist.

[Blackcats7]

Tell him that when he can push a baby out of his fanny he can have an opinion.

[Mrsjayy]

@Anguish

Asking for a friend. Why would he care either way? She has a low pain tolerance and doesn't want to experience the most painful thing that can happen to a woman.

EDIT: He's absolutely lovely and basically a perfect partner in every conceivable way, which is why it's slightly out of character.

Well he isn't lovely not really how dare he say this it isn't his body !

[PuttingDownRoots]

Why does he think its better?

[SableGrape]

He's being 100% unreasonable.

Your friend is also being a little bit unreasonable too though - sections aren't pain free and the recovery can be hard. She could have a vaginal birth with an epidural and be totally comfortable so her saying section = pain free isn't quite true and something she should talk to her midwife about.

Childbirth also isn't "the most painful thing a woman can go through" either!

[Festivemoose]

This exact scenario is doing the rounds on Twitter today from an AITA post.

[LadyKenya]

I would have thought that unless there is a medical reason for a cs, then a vaginal birth was just what happens. I guess I am wrong.

[Anguish]

@PuttingDownRoots

Why does he think its better?

Not sure, I assume he just think it's the natural way and probably has a romanticized view of how a birth should be which for him, includes a vaginal birth.

Like I said he's a very sweet guy.

[Anguish]

@Festivemoose

This exact scenario is doing the rounds on Twitter today from an AITA post.

Really? Link?