For DH to insist on vaginal birth not ceasarean

[Anguish]

Asking for a friend. Why would he care either way? She has a low pain tolerance and doesn't want to experience the most painful thing that can happen to a woman.

EDIT: He's absolutely lovely and basically a perfect partner in every conceivable way, which is why it's slightly out of character.

Her vagina, her business.

If he's the one giving birth he gets to choose. Otherwise, it's 100% up to her.

No uterus, no opinion

Her birth her choice, however a c-section is not pain free by any means. You have major abdominal surgery that takes weeks/ months to recover and is painful for far longer (not as intense).

Insist??? Or what?

Yes - no uterus, no opinion.

He can 'insist' all he wants - if he tried it with me, he'd be 'insisting' his way right out of the relationship.

He can decide on any pregnancy and labour that he has.

Otherwise he can fuck off

Keep that friend very close and watch carefully. A man like that is a red flag. Could be he's just a dick. But could be a lot more.

When he gives birth he can make whatever choices he likes otherwise he needs to STFU & be eternally grateful that someone is willing to have a child with him & put their body through that.

Tosser.

Not his business. Why is your friend letting her DH influence her decision? Not even influence but “insist”?

Lol. He can get fucked.

I don't think any woman should be put under pressure to have birth in a way that is not if her choosing. It's a shitty way to start your experience of motherhood, immediately stripped of her own agency.
Stamping his mark on their joint parenting approach somewhat isn't he.

Is he a commander in Gilead?

The only person who gets to insist on anything is the woman giving birth.

I’d ask what his concerns are so I can take it into account when making MY decision.

It's her choice and there are lots of good reasons why she might not be confident that the system will support her to have a good vaginal birth - women are massively let down when giving birth, often have more pain that necessary.

But if there is no medical reason why CS is needed, I reckon I would encourage my partner to find out about epidurals, good birthing positions, NCT, all that stuff - to avoid having a massive big hole cut in you that might not be necessary. I would find out all I could about birth and help reassure her that I would be there to advocate for what she needed and not let anyone leave her in pain.

But then, once I'd encouraged her, I would shut up.

Why is she even with this control freak?

Everything everyone has already said.

It's her body, she can choose. He should be thankful he has a partner in a position to, hopefully, have a healthy baby. How the baby is born really doesn't have any bearing on that fact. And he certainly doesn't get to insist.

Tell him that when he can push a baby out of his fanny he can have an opinion.

Well he isn't lovely not really how dare he say this it isn't his body !

Why does he think its better?

He's being 100% unreasonable.

Your friend is also being a little bit unreasonable too though - sections aren't pain free and the recovery can be hard. She could have a vaginal birth with an epidural and be totally comfortable so her saying section = pain free isn't quite true and something she should talk to her midwife about.

Childbirth also isn't "the most painful thing a woman can go through" either!

This exact scenario is doing the rounds on Twitter today from an AITA post.

I would have thought that unless there is a medical reason for a cs, then a vaginal birth was just what happens. I guess I am wrong.

Not sure, I assume he just think it's the natural way and probably has a romanticized view of how a birth should be which for him, includes a vaginal birth.

Like I said he's a very sweet guy.

Really? Link?