For DH to insist on vaginal birth not ceasarean

[Anguish]

Asking for a friend. Why would he care either way? She has a low pain tolerance and doesn't want to experience the most painful thing that can happen to a woman.

EDIT: He's absolutely lovely and basically a perfect partner in every conceivable way, which is why it's slightly out of character.

When he’s pregnant he gets an opinion.

absolutely all men should be able to insist on their partners having vaginal birth

it's the only right way

After all it is the men who have to suffer the most in the process of pregnancy and childbirth

but their pain is ignored

so sad

😂 He wants a natural birth? Fabulous. When he gives birth, he can have that.

He's absolutely lovely and basically a perfect partner in every conceivable way

No-one knows an abuser like their victim. Sometimes even the victim can't see what they're being put through while they're under the cloud.

I bet he says 'we're pregnant' too.

He has no say in it until he is having a baby.

I don’t have a link to hand because it would require scrolling through my timeline which I don’t have time for right now, but it’s been retweeted at least twice into my timeline today.

Okay, but that certainly is not the case in this instance, which is why it's bizarre. If it was anyone else I would think it's a bit sadistic.

So he wants to watch his wife scream and shout in pain and perhaps have a 6 inch tear and life long injuries so he can get the ‘romantic’ birth he is entitled to???

And he’s a sweet guy? I think both you and your friend need to raise the bar of nice. I know loads and loads of mothers - no one has ever had a partner ‘insist’ on a type of birth. How can you not see how wrong this is?

it could just be that he buys into negative conceptions about it, like it not being a 'real' birth etc.

We're pregnant 🤮 I'd be telling him to go fuck himself 😁

Okay, but that certainly is not the case in this instance

How do you know that? Genuine question.

He’s not a sweet guy or a nice guy. Maybe he was but this alone removes that title! I feel sick reading this. A man says this and your response is “he’s normally lovely”? Quite frankly, his previous character has been blown out of the water.

He's absolutely lovely and basically a perfect partner in every conceivable way, which is why it's slightly out of character.

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Er - he really ain't!

He gets absolutely NO SAY in this. At all.

This is actually one of the worst examples of an entitled man I think I've read on MN. A man who will never ever understand the pain of a vaginal labour

He can push whatever he wants out of his own body. He doesn't get to decide what other people push out of theirs.

Although, an easy to get it thorugh to him. Ask his how he'll feel if she can't handle it, if she spends hours screaming and crying, if she has to have an emcs anyway. If she has a vaginal birth for his choice, all that pain and trauma she experiences will be directly his fault. She would be hurting herself for him. Is that what he wants?

If it ends with a baby, it’s a real Birth!

Jesus, this guy dies not sound like he’s mature enough to have a baby.

Well he’s not lovely “in every conceivable way” is he? Because in this way he’s being an absolute asshole and he needs to be told that he’s being an absolute asshole. Let’s start judging men by how they act right in front of us, shall we?

Keep that friend very close and watch carefully. A man like that is a red flag. Could be he's just a dick. But could be a lot more.

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👏👏

Pretty sure if a baby exits a woman's body then it's a birth. Not a real one, wtf🙄

I laughed out loud at the title. He can fuck off can’t he?

Has he actually watched any birthing videos?

it could just be that he buys into negative conceptions about it, like it not being a 'real' birth etc.

And therefore the resulting baby isn't a real baby?

Presumably they decided to get pregnant to have a baby not an experience?

Maybe she can insist that a vasectomy will be their future contraception?

I’ve given birth twice and my “proper” birth was the most traumatic thing I’ve experienced. Any man wishing that on their wife who wants to choose an alternative is a sick human with no concept of the boundary between his opinion and his wife’s body.

He doesn't get to decide.

Your friend however may want to change her mind. A CS is not pain free or 'easier', not even a little bit. It's a major operation with a long and painful recovery.

Even good people will spout out some weird trope at some point.

Her body, her choice

Erm doesn't your friend realise a C section probably more pain than vaginal birth?

As I understand it, they put you under anaesthetic for the procedure.