Husband pooping

[HuckleberryBlackcurrant]

I'm so frustrated with how long my husband spends in the bathroom. It's 30-40 mins a day, sometimes longer or in 2 long sessions. He assured me this is normal, and so do all the men I know.

I'm convinced there is a worldwide conspiracy between men to gaslight women into believing it's normal to spend hours a week in the bathroom.

Am I crazy?

I've read all the things about escapism, but he has his own space that the kids and I mostly stay out of, he has plenty of alone time. I know he's messing on his phone in there. But he claims he is pooping the whole time. I don't believe him.

For context, I am a SAHM and we have 3 kids, so I do the lion's share of the housework and child care. He does do his part outside of working hours and is a very involved Dad.

I try not to disturb him while he's pooping but we only have one toilet and he chooses the most inconvenient times to go. Frequently when we are getting ready to go somewhere, etc.

It's really aggravating me. The other day he couldn't finish up for ages and I ended up having to go to in the garden because I was so desperate.

I think he needs to see a Dr, but he assured me all men are like this. Indeed, many of my female friends have similar complaints. Who is crazy here?!

I don't understand men and toilets...you go in you do what you need to and you get out in less than 5 mins at the most ..dh isn't as bad as most men I've heard but still takes his time...he not into phones, has a black and white none smart phone which I don't think been turned on for a year...but takes a book... luckily dd taken to sitting outside talking which has reduced time to 15 mins now if not less....

Does he take his phone with him? Hide it and see how long he takes. Probably 5 minutes. He's not really shitting for that long, he's hiding.

I live with 2, sometimes 3 men and nobody is taking that long to shit. Even the ones who take their phones in are done in 10 minutes max, quicker if someone else needs to get in there.

Tell him he needs to leave his phone outside the bathroom every time he goes and if that doesn't shorten the amount of time he spends in there then he needs to see a doctor.

I'm pretty sure once the phone isn't in the bathroom, he won't be either.

Nope, not normal whatsoever. Nobody needs that long in the loo.
Phone needs to stay outside the loo, he will be in and out in 10.

Can't speak for anyone else DH but having shared a house with my DH for 36 years I've never known him to be longer than 5/10 minutes in the bathroom unless bathing or showering, even when shaving he doesn't take ages.

You had to go in the garden!?!

Oh god tell him to bloody well get out (of the bathroom).

My husband is the same. Maybe only 20mins, but twice a day. And what really irkes me is when I'm trying to take a dump he sort of lingers with the kids outside on the landing!

Haha thanks everyone that's just confirming what I already thought

@Bobskeleton

Yes I did. Very embarrassing but since I had my gallbladder removed a couple of years back I cannot hold it for long.

That’s repulsive. Also you went to the toilet in the garden? Like a dog? Because your husband was shitting?

The only way around this is a second toilet. Still not ideal as mine would always disappear at crucial times and forget to come out.

Sounds like he needs more fibre in his diet (and to leave his bloody phone outside the bathroom).

I found a fabulous card for my husband's birthday which stated Husband
According to *Trustspouse you have been awarded 4.5/5.
Amazing! Reliable , and loving. Really pleased with how he looks and feels.
Would've given 5 stars but he spends way too long in the toilet when having a shit.
It made me laugh and to be fair to my husband, he thought it was funny to.

He's either sat on his phone doom scrolling to avoid life or he's wanking.

It's weird. I live in a house with three males (DH and two DSs)

Two of them do the job and are out in under five minutes. One can take up to half an hour (and it's not DH). I have no idea why. Maybe they like it in there. He always complains his legs have gone numb from sitting on the loo seat for so long!

I get the kids knocking on the door if I'm in the toilet for more than 3 minutes at a time

30-40 minutes??? For a shit?
dh spends about 30 minutes in the bathroom in the morning, toilet, shower, shave, teeth. Doesn’t affect me as we have other toilets in the house. If we had one toilet or bathroom and he was using it at inconvenient times I’d be pricing up an extension to build another one!
Is he constipated?

Give him prunes op...lots of prunes...

Mine isn’t as bad as that but the difference in the length of time men and women spend sitting on the loo has long baffled me. I’ve never come across a female who spends longer than a few minutes.

Always amazes me when men walk right across a crowded office heading to the bogs with a newspaper under their arm and emerge 20 minutes later - can’t imagine a woman doing that.

@Soweeeeiiirrrddd

Yes, I absolutely did because the alternative was shitting my pants!

Sorry, I’m just remembering a previous thread on this topic where a woman wrote:

‘I gave birth to our second child quicker than my husband takes a shit’ 🤣

It’s a universal problem, Op.

@Londonrach1

Prune pudding for dessert methinks.

Agree with this poster.
He's taking the absolute piss.

@MrsJellybee

That is hilarious, especially because that is also true for me. My second born was a precipitous labour and I have used that line on my husband.

My FIL does it as well.