Husband pooping

[HuckleberryBlackcurrant]

I'm so frustrated with how long my husband spends in the bathroom. It's 30-40 mins a day, sometimes longer or in 2 long sessions. He assured me this is normal, and so do all the men I know.

I'm convinced there is a worldwide conspiracy between men to gaslight women into believing it's normal to spend hours a week in the bathroom.

Am I crazy?

I've read all the things about escapism, but he has his own space that the kids and I mostly stay out of, he has plenty of alone time. I know he's messing on his phone in there. But he claims he is pooping the whole time. I don't believe him.

For context, I am a SAHM and we have 3 kids, so I do the lion's share of the housework and child care. He does do his part outside of working hours and is a very involved Dad.

I try not to disturb him while he's pooping but we only have one toilet and he chooses the most inconvenient times to go. Frequently when we are getting ready to go somewhere, etc.

It's really aggravating me. The other day he couldn't finish up for ages and I ended up having to go to in the garden because I was so desperate.

I think he needs to see a Dr, but he assured me all men are like this. Indeed, many of my female friends have similar complaints. Who is crazy here?!

That's a sackable offence! He's lucky you're still with him 😁

www.instagram.com/reel/CyJWdlSs4Q2/?igsh=MTVkNThiMGpuYXNyMQ==

I think this instagram post sums this phenomenon up!

I keep a 2p coin next to the door so I can let the kids open it from the outside. Soon gets him out once they tell him mummy went out (to sit alone on the car on the driveway for revenge)

I find this strange, I've lived with my DH for 20 years and I've never known him take longer than 10 minutes going to the toilet.

Yep, my ex husband gave himself piles by sitting on the toilet for many minutes up to 5 times a day. I wish I was exaggerating.

He never waited for the urge to go, just used to go and sit in there until he pooed. Weird. Not phone related either.

Does your DH work in an office? I bet he wouldn't take 40 minutes on the loo if he does.

My husband used to be the same. He had a huge stack of golf and motorbike magazines that he'd sit and read while waiting for his body to give up the poo (another scheduler).

This is my DP. It's infuriating. I just don't understand how or why!

Yes! Kids always leave the room they were in with DH to come and find me in the toilet to ask something they could have asked him.

@2Old2Tango

He WFH. Thankfully he is usually considerate enough to ask before he goes in if anyone else needs to go.

You’ve got a good’un there! Rare breed of man.

If I ever date again, the first question I will ask is ‘how long does it take you to do a shit?’.

He's hiding and coppjng out of real family life. Start doing same until it utterly funking irritates him,
My exh used to do this. Areshole. Luckily I left him now he shits alone.

Oh, he is 1 shit away from me throwing in the towel! 😆

Yes, my husband takes up to 20 minutes to poo. He seems to think he needs to poo in the morning on getting up and immediately after work. I don't understand why he can't wait until he needs to go. A male doctor friend of mine once told me that no-one should need to spend more than 2 minutes on the toilet. I think men have been conditioned to schedule poos 🤷

😂😂😂😂😂

Mine does the same, boils my piss! Always at a massively inconvenient time too. 30 mins before heading out the door? Time to get everybody sorted and packing up for the LO? - off for a shit! Baby just finished eating and covered head to floor in food? - off for a shit!
Get in from dog walk with baby strapped to front and dogs covered head to toe in mud - immediately requires emergency shit. All 30 mins minimum….

I tried to do the same once to prove a point….lasted all of 4 mins 27 seconds before there was a knock at the door.

We live rurally with no phone signal…I discovered turning off the wifi whilst he is in there drastically reduced the shitting duration - funny that. I just put up with his moaning about the ‘dodgy wifi’ now 😂

It may be another function that he is doing before a 'number 2'.

I feel like I wrote this myself except we have 1 child

Solidarity

Has he got IBS?

THIS. Every time he comes out, wait till the smell dissipates and go in and watch a whole episode of your favourite show. Even if everyone is in the car waiting to leave for the petting farm, you take your time back. I did this to my DH as he was driving me mad. I also added pulses and lots of wholegrains to our dinners, and that changed things for the better.

Sorry if it's already been answered, but what did you do about the garden shit?
Pick it up like a dogs? Wait till it cooled first? Too many questions I didn't think I'd be asking tonight...

Never mind pulses, put a spoonful of psyllium husks in his food every day - works wonders. Also, get him a footstool for crapping - if the knees are high enough it changes the angle of the pelvis to nearer a squatting position so what needs to come out, can come out naturally without going through unnecessary bends. And tell him he'll give himself hemorrhoids.

Poophoria! Don't Google whatever you do!

@NeverForgetHowStrongYouAre

So if you want the gory details.....we have an unused shed that has a dirt floor and is in disrepair. Was previously used for a goat and is going to be torn down. So I went in there, shitted in a plastic bag and I had brought some wipes and hand sanitizer out so cleaned up, bagged the whole lot and threw in the outside bin. I had to do it a couple times before so I have a routine haha.

@GrumpyPanda

I'll try it

@Alicewinn

I don't believe so. He just sits in there and relaxes until he feels the urge to go.