To just get a sick note as a single parent?

[Animalpsb]

Single parent to dd, 2. Her dad works in france in the week so absolutely nobody else to rely on.

I am in a reasonably highly paid job which is full on. Despite this, and despite decent maintenance, I scrape by with nursery fees, student loans, mortgage gone up etc.

I will have ran out of holiday already and it doesn’t renew until September. I am absolutely exhausted. I don’t know how to carry on juggling with no break. I don’t know what I’m going to do and now have concluded I will just have to call in sick for a week. Ive never done this before but I am at my wits end. I just don’t know what to do and need a break. Would this be a crazy thing to do? I’m so fed up

YANBU to need a break - it’s good for your mental health but does it need to be a week if your DD is at school a good day (or two at a push) hugging the sofa can do a world of good…. But I think a week is a bit too far

@PivotPivotmakingmargaritas if a take a day or a week it makes one absence incident so I thought I may as well take a week… I’m just so drained

Take a week. You may even be able to get Dr note for longer. If you drop dead tomorrow your employer will cope, so they can manage you being sick. Parenting is hard and you can't pour from an empty jug.

Take the week and use it to recharge and think about/plan what you can do moving forward to make life a bit easier. If you think you might be depressed, see the GP too.

Take a week, if not longer. I have been a single parent with no help. A day or two would not have even touched the sides during the tough times. You may be burnt out. Take the time now to avoid full burnout. Take it, do not feel guilty, take more if you need.

Could you take it as parental leave?
snd ask your employer about the school holidays
https://www.acas.org.uk/parental-leave#:~:text=Parental%20leave%20is%20usually%20unpaid,can%20be%20planned%20in%20advance

If not yanbu you’re mental health should come before any job

Have you had to take a lot of leave that wasn't planned, or have you started a new job partway through a leave year? I don't think your employer should have allowed you to take the full year's leave in less than half of it - it was obviously a recipe for disaster to have no break at all between March and September. I don't think it would unreasonable to take sick leave currently as you clearly are struggling, but then you need a plan because you're then going to end up back in the same place before September otherwise, so I think you need to have a conversation about unpaid leave with your employer if that's at all possible.

YANBU. Look at it this way, if you continue the way you are, you'll probably end up actually unwell physically and mentally.

Unmumsnetty hugs to you as I'm also a single parent in a full time demanding job and I am exhausted.

Don't take sick leave if you are not sick.

Is this something that will resolve itself or do you need to look at taking parental leave now and then having your contract changed to term time only or if they won't do it a new job that is term time only. If she's only two you have another 11 years until she is self sufficient enough to be left at home for extended periods. It's one of the sacrifices single (normally) mums need to make it you have no other childcare options

If you need the time for your mental well being be honest with your employer and seek their support. Look at an occupational health referral, a self referral to Mental Health Access to Work, and a risk assessment / mental health action plan moving forward.

I would do it. It sounds like you are suffering from exhaustion. I wish I'd done it when my son was younger.
I can remember nodding off at my desk because I was so tired and physically done in with it all. Single parent too. A very kind older colleague brought me a coffee and sat with me while I cried. She told me
that they grow up so quickly but right now you're in the thick of full on parenting. I remember the long weekends that needed filling and only me to do it. It's tough and what you are proposing may help you to stay well and in work in the long term.

You can get signed off for a week or 2 for stress, I think after 2 you need a new note. Just speak to GP and say your burning out and stressed and need a breather/to seek therapy. You can also ask them if they can help relieve your symptoms. There's nothing wrong with it whatsoever.

If you can afford to take unpaid leave, in the UK parents are entitled to take up to 4 weeks per year unpaid (to a maximum of 18 weeks over 18 years). There is discretion for the employer on exactly when you can take it, but you are entitled to take it.

That might not help if you are only just making ends meet

Do it.

Or can you get signed off for a couple of weeks with stress? Or would this impact your job too much?

You have to look after yourself. I would never have pulled a sicky pre-kids, but since having them, I have taken the odd day off because of exhaustion (said I had a sick bug or something). It is so hard to juggle everything.

There's no point letting yourself get completely burnt out.

You need to look at part time or flexible working options. You can take a week off now, but it isn’t going to solve the problem that you are exhausted. It is just a sticking plaster. You aren’t going to then going to be able to cope for another 5 months without any leave. You need to start thinking about some other options or solutions

What will you do after a week off? Will the cycle start all over again?

You don’t need a sick note from a Dr for 1 week. Absences of 7 days can be self authorised. If your work as for a note from a Dr they should technically pay the Gp for it. Just FYI so you don’t just assume your go will give you one for a week as it shouldn’t work like that.

https://www.acas.org.uk/fit-notes-and-proof-of-sickness#:~:text=Self%2Dcertification%20when%20off%20sick,%2Dcertifying'%20their%20sick%20leave.

Why have you run out of annual leave? Because DD has been sick or because you've been doing holiday childcare/having holidays?

Do it, take the time off to recharge and think about how to move forward, you need to prioritise your health and wellbeing rn for your daughte'rs sake.

YANBU. Calling in sick covers mental health as well as physical.

its not unreasonable but it sounds like it’s not going to help long term so use it as a short term fix and then look at the bigger picture and how things can be changed.

Do it this time, but the situation isn't going to resolve itself.
You and your partner need to think how best you can manage bringing up your daughter. She's 2, it's only the very beginning.

Single parent here.

ignore people saying don’t take it off sick or only take a couple of days.

you are not taking this time to go on holiday or do something else fgs!

If you are planning to rest then it’s sick leave. You are mentally burnt out. You’d easily get a sick note for it.

but if you don’t want to say it’s stress or mental health issues then just say you have a virus.

I’ve done similar before- spent the time the kids were at school sleeping/ lying on sofa watching TV. I was exhausted!

I tend to be the type who lives very active holidays so this wasn’t my idea of fun. I just needed to rest!

Take the time. Your priority is to your kids and they need you to be healthy and well.

Take a mental health break. When you have had a rest, look at what to do next.

Also, although its unpad, do remember the parental leave thing that means you an take extra time off.