To just get a sick note as a single parent?

[Animalpsb]

Single parent to dd, 2. Her dad works in france in the week so absolutely nobody else to rely on.

I am in a reasonably highly paid job which is full on. Despite this, and despite decent maintenance, I scrape by with nursery fees, student loans, mortgage gone up etc.

I will have ran out of holiday already and it doesn’t renew until September. I am absolutely exhausted. I don’t know how to carry on juggling with no break. I don’t know what I’m going to do and now have concluded I will just have to call in sick for a week. Ive never done this before but I am at my wits end. I just don’t know what to do and need a break. Would this be a crazy thing to do? I’m so fed up

I think you need to plan annual leave better. Of course unforeseen things come up but it’s never a good idea to have 5 months with no break. If it’s covering sickness you may need to look at some unpaid leave next time or flexi time if available

Depends on why you’ve run out of holidays. If they’ve just been used up frivolously for going on holidays,and days out etc, then yabu. We all have to,plan out our leave throughout the year to accommodate going on holiday etc. I would love to have double my annual holiday entitlement so I can have more time off, but unfortunately that’s not going to happen….

Take the week, or longer if you need to. Your physical and mental health is more important than work. Remember to work you are replaceable however to your family you are irreplaceable.

You are not sick, you have just taken on more than you can cope with.
Why don't you take oarental leave? You are entitled to take up to 4 weeks a year ( subject up to 13 weeks in total)

I'd do it. In fact two years ago I did it and my lovely line manager was the one who told me I should. However, think about how you are going to stop it happening again. It is fine to take time off for mental health, but you don't just want a cycle of over do the tough stuff, struggle, take extra leave, go back, struggle, take extra leave, go back. If you aren't coping overall, you need to find a way of long term relieving the stress points in life.

A gp will give you any time off you need for anxiety and stress. You can claim for up to 28 weeks with a not fit for work dr form. This is free!
I've done the exact same as you and the Dr actually is happy to extend it as much as needed.

Take a couple of days or a week if you need it - you sound like you’re working towards a genuine sickness absence anyway. But you need to look at the underlying issues, otherwise you’ll be in the same boat in a few months and eventually your employer will catch on. I realise being a single parent is difficult but why is it all so difficult- does your daughter sleep through? Can her dad have her for a day at the weekend so you have a day a week to recharge?

I second this.
I’ve been pushing on for so long and have now hit the bottom. I was signed off a few weeks ago and don’t know when I’ll be ready to return. Don’t make the same mistake that I did. Take care and look after yourself.

This is exactly what parental leave is for. It's unpaid. You're entitled to 18 weeks before the kid turns 18. Where I work they say up to 4 weeks a year with at least 3 months notice. You're entitled to it. You could take a day a week for a month or so to get on top of life, or you could take a big stint and have a breather. Equally I think if you went to a gp they would happily sign you off for as long as you felt was needed to reset. Years ago i took 2 weeks for stress and then got signed off to work reduced hours for a month. Did me an absolute solid. They just wrote stress on the sick note

Ok. This is a bit harsh, and I don't know why you are getting a tough time here, because I somewhat agree. The FIRST thing that came to mind upon reading the op, was: Where is SS in all this? How can a person this exhausted in the terms she has described be safe to look after a 2 yo? How on earth? With that debilitating exhaustion, op can pass out at any time on a sofa and DD will be neglected for 8 irregular hours. When pp are as exhausted as OP is, they can sleep through alarms, etc etc and so they can sleep through anything. All that puts DD at risk.

I hope MN discreetly passes this thread onto the nearest Social Services.

Also, dad in France all week is no excuse. Either he must pump more money on CC or he makes himself available to take over at times like this. This cannot be real.
@Animalpsb

I would do it - don't spiral down a hole if taking a bit of time will help you back on an even keel.

and these people on here giving you a hard time do not know you OP and don't care either if you end up totally burning out or having a break down so listen to your body and do what you need to do.

Being signed off with stress isn’t supposed to be a fucking break. Would you refer to being signed off with flu as a break?

No,Lying always catches you out. You’ll be compelled to make up a narrative for the lie. Sick leave is as it suggests for recovery from an illness(physical or mental)
This doesn’t address your actual issue , extreme fatigue from being single parent

You're not the only exhausted parent, taking it as sick is rinsing the system. I am sympathetic but if you fabricate illness you’ll have to lie and maintain that. Concerned colleagues will ask how you are and you’ll have to lie. Are you for that?

Plus taking a fake sickie puts a burden on other colleagues as they have to pick up the outstanding work. The work doesn’t go away it’s there needing done whilst folk take false sickies

@Zone2NorthLondon it is not for recovery alone. People go on sick all the time for burn out/ stress/anxiety. OP doesn't have to fall to the ground before she can go on sick. It's none of her colleagues business why OP would be off work OP isn't obligated to divulge her personal business.

Nosy colleagues are the absolute worst!

burn out/ stress/anxiety are legitimate reasons. Op wants a rest, she’s not sick. Both v different
It is expected after return from sick that colleagues inquire about wellbeing.Nosy is wanting the minutiae of the illness.

Who are these people?

If a GP says you need to refrain from work due to stress and overwhelm you jolly well refrain from work. Mental health is precious and frail.

By all means get a fit note for mental health issues but fake sickie citing mental health undermines the system.

Being at the end of one's tether and perceiving there is no way out of unmanageable stress requires a discussion with an HCP.

Why are some people being so snarky and unkind. It's almost as though some people think lone parents do not deserve to have good jobs.

Good luck OP, hope you get the space and support to get stress levels down and assess what adjustments you might be able to make.

Op is describing fatigue & pressures of being a single parent. She’s said has no AL left,she is not sick but she need a break . In absence of eligible AL she’s seeking a break via a false sickie. If she had AL she’d take AL but no AL so fake sickie…

Why is exploring overwhelm and persistently elevated stress with a GP fake? GPs advise that people should refrain from work on this basis all the time.

Op said no AL left, so to get a break she’ll call in sick because she has no AL. It’s a conscious choice op need a break, has no AL so the break will be under sick leave. This isn’t described as globally at breaking point and need to be off sick. It’s framed as need a break but inadequate AL so take a sickie. What’s more she’s decided a week will do nicely.

Probably for OP and her GP to determine where her breaking point is and whether it is advisably to refrain from work, rather than you?

I can sympathise I’m also single mother although my child is older. Tbh I would go “off sick” with something like flu or covid for the week. I wouldn’t get signed off with stress or anything mental health related that might go on file or on a reference. But take the time you need. It’s flipping hard being a single parent when the other parent does zip.

So the consensus seems to be that she is too fit to take sick leave from work yet you think she is so sick that social services need to be involved.