To just get a sick note as a single parent?

[Animalpsb]

Single parent to dd, 2. Her dad works in france in the week so absolutely nobody else to rely on.

I am in a reasonably highly paid job which is full on. Despite this, and despite decent maintenance, I scrape by with nursery fees, student loans, mortgage gone up etc.

I will have ran out of holiday already and it doesn’t renew until September. I am absolutely exhausted. I don’t know how to carry on juggling with no break. I don’t know what I’m going to do and now have concluded I will just have to call in sick for a week. Ive never done this before but I am at my wits end. I just don’t know what to do and need a break. Would this be a crazy thing to do? I’m so fed up

where have I put words into your mouth? or questioned your honesty?

if anyone is misconstruing others posts, it is yourself.

responding to someone is not arguing - I disagree with your interpretation of the OP and have read it in an entirely different way, the use of the words drained and exhausted are not to be taken lightly despite societies expectations that we should all don a stiff upper lip and plow on at our own detriment. I don't agree with this.

you don't need to go to a doctor immediately to take time off work.

You've also just completely shown yourself again with the quote you responded to 'OP wants a sick note because she doesn't have any holiday left'. So you don't believe she genuinely needs to see a doctor do you? Kind of makes your shouty capitals at me a bit redundant.

If I was ‘genuinely’ ill questions my honesty.

you saying I am competing like illness is some kind of top trumps is putting words into my mouth. You are misconstruing what I m saying to try to discredit my view.

now you are saying I don’t believe she is ill. If I didn’t think she was ill I would have said that. I do believe she’s exhausted. Life is exhausting. I said go to the doctor for exhaustion because that’s what I meant.

please don’t engage with me on this post anymore. We aren’t going to agree and you are getting personal.

Happy for our discussion to stop there, to take things personally over someone referring back to stuff you have said and having a differing view to you does not a good conversation make.

One last thing - I would rather be wrong and OP is a chancer/misusing sick leave then you be wrong and OP is in a real bad place. think about that.

Mental health is the same as physical health. You need some time off, your employer is fine without you (although they know how to apply the pressure/make out they aren’t), your little girl isn’t (she can’t express how vital you are!). See your GP, trustworthy friends, cry it out if necessary! Be kind and gentle on yourself.

I have been a single mum since my DD was 2 - she’s now 8. My ex does 3 out of 13 weeks school holidays. It basically cripples me and I can’t get a job that I can hold on to. My parents financially support us - so grateful for that but they are too old to have her for more than the odd day so it’s still hard. A lot of the time I am mentally absolutely fine - and occasionally I crash. That’s okay! I have learnt to view myself with some compassion now. We are still better off single than with men who can’t show up equally for our DD. Big hugs! Xxx

Phone in sick and if possible seek the support of your employer so that you don't end up in a vicious cycle of burning out and needing time off sick. But take the time first.

You say her Dad works in France during the week so does he have her at weekends when he is home? What about his holidays as surely he needs to use his holiday time also to support you/look after DD.

I meant in order to look at and support strategies moving forward. I'm not denying her need for a break now.

@Thudercatsrule … you’ve got your priorities wrong. People with your perspective frighten me tbh because it’s a really inhumane, toxic and unsustainable approach to life! Op clearly works hard and contributes to society; i don’t see why she shouldn’t be supported occasionally when needed. That’s the kind of society i believe in. Maybe if the CMS was better she would not be left shouldering more than her fair share of the workload. Are you saying she should be punished for the things that her ex partner has done?? Because that is essentially what you are suggesting, and I find it pretty abhorrent actually. The employer can definitely cover the additional pay. They’d be paying OP were she present so presumably they aren’t literally about to close down imminently… even if they were OP has the right to support if she is unwell and unable to fulfil her role.

And how are they going to know she isn’t “sick” they won’t. Alternatively she can get signed off by doctor if she wants more than a week. But personally id just say Iv got a bad case of flu and have a week off.