To just get a sick note as a single parent?

[Animalpsb]

Single parent to dd, 2. Her dad works in france in the week so absolutely nobody else to rely on.

I am in a reasonably highly paid job which is full on. Despite this, and despite decent maintenance, I scrape by with nursery fees, student loans, mortgage gone up etc.

I will have ran out of holiday already and it doesn’t renew until September. I am absolutely exhausted. I don’t know how to carry on juggling with no break. I don’t know what I’m going to do and now have concluded I will just have to call in sick for a week. Ive never done this before but I am at my wits end. I just don’t know what to do and need a break. Would this be a crazy thing to do? I’m so fed up

Bollocks. Totally overwhelmed and struggling is a perfectly entirely reasonable use of sick leave.

Yes, you may need to think about the set up going forward, not right now. This is on the road to being an issue you cannot just take a few days and fix.

So step back and imagine what you would advise your daughter in this situation. Then, treat yourself with the same compassion.

it's strange how many people have been triggered by this - far too many of you sacrifice yourselves for companies that would replace you in the blink of an eye and could give a shiny shit about you as an actual person.

it's a week off for what sounds like bad burn out that will just get worse and worse if not addressed. One week ffs.

Burnout is a specific psychological state, it is actually more than fatigue. Burnout is also not addressed in 1 week. Op hasn’t said she’s burnt out. She said she has no AL and need a break

Thanks, i am fully aware what burn out is and I stand by everything I said.

If you are well versed in what burn out is you should know that OP has many of the risk factors that contribute so there is every chance OP is suffering or at the very least, on the way.

If they feel a week off is going to help them I am not going to judge that personally but you do you.

I agree with you @cherrychapstickk . A week will at least give @Animalpsb time to breathe and reflect on how to rebalance life in a way that will hopefully head off a downwards spiral.

(And I say that as someone who ended up very ill and burnt out )

None of us can say op has burnout on limited basis of what she’s described. And a week won’t address burnout if that’s what it is.

I agree take time off it but don't manufacture a sickie. Take parental leave.

I did it last year. At first I only took the Friday off and had a long weekend, but it didn't do anything and went and took a full week off. Used that week as a circuit breaker and did some work and dug into my resources.

Mental health is so so important, just because you can't see a "sickness" doesn't mean we aren't sick, it's just a different form.

" appears that the distinction between understanding the difference between physical illness and mental illness comes down to the fact that many physical illnesses can be observed by sight or through some kind of instrumentation that can detect disease inside the body. Mental illness cannot be “seen” through a microscope or an MRI but is often detected by behavioral aspects the person demonstrates. Physical illness and mental illness may both be referred to as a disease process, but behaviorally they can be opposite in presentation."
The "Invisibility" of Mental Illness | Psychology Today Australia

Have you taken the full year's leave within six months then? That's probably pertinent to the question here.

Actually, this PP put it better ⬆️

This. Nobody is saying OP isn’t struggling and needs a break. Exhaustion is exhaustion. If it is bad enough the GP will sign her off for that.

If we all took sick leave because we were overwhelmed and struggling there’d be no bugger working 😂

z

Glad my new boss advocates for mental health days. My previous boss didn't and 10 of us have left in a space of 2 months due to burn out etc, only 22 staff in total.

what do you mean "this". Exhaustion is a massive risk factor for burn out, being overwhelmed with responsibility is a second, having no time out is a third.

Plus you're not a hero for struggling on if you can't, it's actually really stupid and if less people had your attitude towards it then perhaps more people wouldn't be so worried about taking care of their health that they run themselves into the ground. As I stated previously, for companies who do not give a shit.

I have a chronic illness and mental health problems and have been treated for both for over 30 years. Maybe that’s why I have a vested interest in people not misusing the system. Did you stop to think??

OP’s boss doesn’t do mental health days. That’s why she’s asking if it’s ok to pull a sickie.

So. I'm contributing my opinions to the thread. That's how it works as you can see with other people's stories on the thread.

A like isn't enough to your post.

Did people ever stop to think that maybe people "misuse the system" because of the stigma that is associated with having depression, etc etc. People don't get to police how people how other people feel.

sorry trolling you? you have an issue with people responding to others on a chat site?

it's irrelevant what you've personally had, it still doesn't make you qualified to judge if someone else is at risk.

you may have had a hard time with illness over the years but it isn't a competition and the reality is, you have no idea what OP is experiencing.

As I already said she has risk factors. If you've genuinely been through it you presumably are aware of that and are also aware that exhaustion is sometimes a beginning symptom.

I'm sure you believe you've just had a drop the mic moment there but shock - I had burn out too and am also allowed to put my opinion across on the subject and actually as someone who has been there I am a lot more sympathetic to others now who are struggling.

perhaps take note

You are personally attacking me in your responses. I’m not competing or having a drop the mic moment, I’m explaining why I have a problem with people abusing the system. I have already said to the OP in a much earlier post, if you are exhausted, go to the doctor about exhaustion and get a sick note for that. Don’t go down the stress route because it’s easy. Surely you also agree the OP should be honest with her doctor so she can be properly assessed and treated? So, take note maybe of what I’ve already said before inferring anything about my meaning.

please point out the personal attack.

I don't believe that someone who is struggling, is at their wits end, who isn't coping and is exhausted is abusing the system by taking time out.

Yes they should absolutely go to the GP after 7 days to be signed off if needs be but that isn't necessary at first, you can self certify.

I have not said anything about stress, I have encouraged OP to listen to her body, to recognise the symptoms and risk factors of burn out and to not put companies over her own wellbeing.

you have been quite dismissive throughout this thread and it would be a real shame for anyone else who is reading this to be put off taking sick leave and is struggling because of it.

I think the problem with this thread is the title ‘ to get a sick note as a single person’ and then she goes on to say she wants days off to look after her child. That’s lots of separate issues and lots of good advice.

1. Op is exhausted/stressed - then go to to gp and get help

2. Annual leave is used up - this is a separate issue to 1). Parental leave is the answer here.

3. Single parent - affects 1) and 2) - no dp/local family support etc, but the title reads that being a single mum is the reason/justification for getting sick leave, not that she is actually ill.

You are putting words in my mouth that suit your purpose, questioning my honesty and ignoring where we agree so you can continue arguing.

I HAVE SAID THE OP SHOULD SPEAK TO HER DOCTOR.

Sorry for shouting. Just trying to make sure you didn’t miss the main point again.

Absolutely why I have a problem. I don’t have a problem with people who say they are ill taking time off. The OP wants a sick note because she doesn’t have any holiday left.