Very taken aback by partner’s comment on “lads holiday”

[Yorkiepud2614]

My partner has just come back from his brother’s stag (5 nights in Budapest for anyone curious) and told me that most of the boys on the trip (10 of them) consider it more normal to go on lads holidays then away with their partners. One guy had been on four trips with “the boys” during his four year relationship and never once been on holiday with said girlfriend. This has led my partner to believe I am “lucky” (his own words) that he would still rather go on holiday with me.
He now believes it is the norm for men to go on holiday with their friends rather than their girlfriends/wives because that is what is normal in his friend group.
Am I crazy for thinking this probably isn’t the norm?

[Dewdilly]

No, not normal in my circles.

[Candleabra]

I think most men do both. I hope you have an equivalent girls holiday or time for yourself.
I wouldn’t be impressed with a partner returning from a 5 day holiday telling me I was lucky.

[MinnieMountain]

It’s not normal in my social circle. DH goes skiing once a year with a friend who happens to be male. He’s never been on a “lads holiday”.

[Thepeopleversuswork]

It's not the norm and your partner's mates sound like bellends tbh. Going away with friends from time to time is absolutely normal and healthy but thinking that that takes precedence over going with your partner suggests they don't have a high opinion of the partner.

[Shoxfordian]

He thinks you're lucky he wants to go on holiday with you
Hope he's joking 🙄

[fieldsofbutterflies]

I think it depends on your age.

In my early twenties I would never have really dreamed about going on holiday with a boyfriend, but now in my thirties that's completely flipped and it's 100% the "norm".

[StarsByThePocketful]

Wha… what?! 😂😂😂 My partner would be welcome to get in a relationship with the lads if he said such bullshit to me.

[Teeshirt]

I don’t think my DH has ever been on a lads’ holiday. It’s the sort of thing I associate with late teens.

[Noyesnoyes]

Not something I've experienced and I really don't understand why you wouldn't want to holiday with your partner?

Aren't holidays one of life's great enjoyments? Something you'd want to share with a partner?

[pbdr]

No, my husband has never been on a "lads holiday", but we go away regularly.

Given that the people whose statements he is basing this belief on were lads away on a lads holiday at the time, I would propose that they are not a completely random/representative sample of men.

[Scarletttulips]

I think I would have said ‘oh lucky meereee’ and eye rolled.

[2024mum]

Maybe if you're 18!

[Pombearprincess]

Maybe you should just crack on with booking yourself a girls holiday then. What’s sauce for the goose… etc

[Yorkiepud2614]

He’s 30. The men on the stag were 26-30

[CatherinedeBourgh]

Dh has never been on a lad's holiday, and we've been together since we were teens!

[CheeseWisely]

Ha! No it's not the norm, or at least not once you're in a serious / long-term / living together relationship.

DH has been on two stags, including his own, since we've been together, and went away for a weekend to a concert with his brother. He wouldn't dream of using his annual leave and money for a 'lads holiday' unless it were special circumstances (like the stag do of a good friend).

[Monkeybusiness09]

My DH has never been on a lads holiday and I've never been away with the girls. We are together 25 years.We much prefer holidaying together with our kids and genuinely love each others company.

[Yorkiepud2614]

@Pombearprincess

Maybe you should just crack on with booking yourself a girls holiday then. What’s sauce for the goose… etc

I wish I could but the friends I do have also wouldn’t really want to go without their partners.

[ChanelNo19EDT]

Yeh, that'd worry me. He seems to be saying to you "I am reassessing".


Time to do the same. :-/

[WarningOfGails]

my DH doesn’t, but I would say it’s fairly usual for men we know to go away once or twice a year with their male friends. Often a skiing holiday. But they go away with their families too.

[DonnaBanana]

If he would prefer to always go away with his friends rather than his lover I would be worried what he’s up to out there. I bet he isn’t going without sex for a week at that age! He is probably in the strip clubs or even fooling around with his drunk pals.

[AuntieMarys]

Ds is 25 and goes away 3 or 4 times a year with friends but at least 8-10 times with his partner. She does the same.