Very taken aback by partner’s comment on “lads holiday”

[Yorkiepud2614]

My partner has just come back from his brother’s stag (5 nights in Budapest for anyone curious) and told me that most of the boys on the trip (10 of them) consider it more normal to go on lads holidays then away with their partners. One guy had been on four trips with “the boys” during his four year relationship and never once been on holiday with said girlfriend. This has led my partner to believe I am “lucky” (his own words) that he would still rather go on holiday with me.
He now believes it is the norm for men to go on holiday with their friends rather than their girlfriends/wives because that is what is normal in his friend group.
Am I crazy for thinking this probably isn’t the norm?

I could understand friend holidays more than partner holidays if the couple have had few years dating, recently moved in, and are quite young, but not older and more established relationships.

Once an established couple and building a life together, it's not normal for one person to holiday with friends over their partner. Either holidays are with the partner or a mix of partner and friends.

Same here.

My DH does one weekend a year with one of his friend groups.

Should say the rest of his leave is spent with me

We don't do girls or boys holidays. I don't see why a married man or woman with children needs to be going away on holiday like a young single person.

There's something deeply unattractive to me about 40 something year olds going on a 4 day piss up with the 'lads' and behaving like complete prats.

But are you 'lucky' your dh comes on the family holiday?

My dh was delighted to get out of lads holidays when we got together. Won’t go to stags either.

He's just priming you for the next lads trip. Whenever I'v been on holiday there's certainly plenty of couples around and everyone I know would prioritise going away with their partner. Certainly wouldn't be a situation of a lads holiday 4 times and never away together.

My DH goes away without me but makes sure we have time away together too.

He would never dream of saying or thinking anything like that.

The OPs partner/DH is clearly being an utter twat about that bit!

Becuase alot of men don't actually enjoy their partners company its just someone to shag when they get home and do the housework for them. They have alot more fun with the lads becuase they can act like twats.

DP would definitely choose a family or couple holiday over a lads holiday, he likes us alot more 😂

The only lads trips DP goes on are stags and those are usually not abroad.

We go on holidays together, or occasionally with other couples. I can't think of any men in our circle who regularly go away without their partner.

this is completely normal, but your separate holidays are in addition to the family holiday.

OP is talking about guys saying they don’t go on holiday with their partner and their main/family holiday is with friends ( without partners)

Both my DH and I do both, but probably amounts to one holidays with friends each year, and at least the same for family holidays. With us the family holiday would always be the priority, but if we can squeeze in a friends holiday too, we do!

You can set your own bar whenever you like op.

His offering wouldn't be good enough for me. The fact that he keeps company with other men who all think they're superior to women, wouldn't be a pull for me, on the contrary.

I'd rather be single than be with someone who thought I was lucky to be with them.

My ex did this. We used to go on holiday together and then he moved jobs and made new 'friends'. It turned into lads holidays all the time rather than us going on holiday together and he'd go out drinking with them most nights.

But apparently it was normal and the other mens wives didn't complain. The relationship didn't last long after that.

Bloke here. Certainly NOT normal in my circle of mates.

We might get a weekend away without DWs/DPs once a year (fishermen/golfers maybe more), but we all holday and have mini-breaks with DW/DP and DCs if not adults.

I wish my partner would go on a lads holiday 😂 then I can have some peace and quiet for a few days 😂😂😂

We do both! I’m actually away on my girls trip now. I’ll be going away with my husband in summer and probably again in Autumn (I’m a teacher so we’re dictated by holidays!) He has a friends holiday booked too. My girls holiday is cocktails by the pool, sunbathing all day and getting massages. That’s my husbands idea of hell so I wouldn’t expect him to do that. I actually enjoy his type of holiday too (walking/visiting attractions etc) so I get the best of both worlds! Our friends holidays are an extra though and if we were short on time or money they’d be the first to go!

OH and I (both mid-40s, childfree by choice) go away separately a few times a year, but it's more hobby-based with friends than 'lads lads lads' (although tbh neither of us have ever been that way inclined).

However, those trips are planned around mutual holidays, which come first.

What an idiot

Not normal
You should do the same

No it's not normal and I've vowed to never be in a relationship with this type of immature man ever again.

Not normal in my circles. My DH had never been on a lads holiday and I've never been on a girls holiday (the thought of it gives me the ick even though i love my friends dearly). Only bloke on our wider circle of friends who did this is a cheating twat.

I'm a man and i found the transition from lads/friends holidays to partner holidays quite hard.

Holidays in our twenties involved city breaks, snowbombing, clubbing, etc. Sometimes it would just be the lads out on the pull in a foreign city, others it would be a mixed group clubbing in Berlin. They were a huge amount of fun and couple holidays were just a bit dull in comparison.

I'm now married with kids, so that part of my life is behind me. I still miss them, though.

Genuine question - if you prefer the company of men, which is absolutely fine and your prerogative, why have you got in a relationship with a woman?