Very taken aback by partner’s comment on “lads holiday”

[Yorkiepud2614]

My partner has just come back from his brother’s stag (5 nights in Budapest for anyone curious) and told me that most of the boys on the trip (10 of them) consider it more normal to go on lads holidays then away with their partners. One guy had been on four trips with “the boys” during his four year relationship and never once been on holiday with said girlfriend. This has led my partner to believe I am “lucky” (his own words) that he would still rather go on holiday with me.
He now believes it is the norm for men to go on holiday with their friends rather than their girlfriends/wives because that is what is normal in his friend group.
Am I crazy for thinking this probably isn’t the norm?

After this he should be lucky if you even want to go with him. What an idiot.

It's only th enorm amongst very immature and fairly unintelligent men.

This is an age thing - I used to go on 'girls holidays' then I got married and had DC, got a mortgage = less disposable income.
We now have family holidays.
I go away once a year with friends for 1 night.

I've been away abroad with girlfriends twice in the last 8 years for about 5 days.

I find men who carry on going on 'lads, lads, lads' holidays when they have wife/family are grim & ghastly.

22 years married here. DH has never been on a ‘lads’ holiday or stag but when we were younger and living among friends he used to go snowboarding in France or Germany with some of them throughout the season. He goes on his own now but less often.

I have a couple of weeks a year in the city (we live on a farm in the highlands) every year. I wouldn’t want dh following me around Edinburgh or London needing to be entertained the whole time.

In between we have one UK break a year together. Its suits us.

I don't see the problem with wanting to holiday with friends. But everything in moderation, and with consideration. There are a lot of factors and if you have enough money, time and no responsibilities (aka children) then its not a big deal. The idea of taking 4 holidays a year with your mates but none at all with your partner though, is odd.

Agree

Yet another post about a gross, immature and impressionable "man" you should probably not be in a relationship with.

Normal to have separate trips yes but totally not normal to have them instead of trips with each other.

Now we can't afford either but back in the pre DC days our holidays together took priority and the rest were an added bonus.

These days I think most men do both.

Been with DH 25 years. He's had one holiday with a friend for a special birthday. I've been on about 2 - 3 breaks a year with friends or girlfriends but always UK. I have had one trio to Paris with 2 mates and USA with a different groups of friends, not DH when I was much younger and we didn't have dc.

I don't really know married/LTR men who go on lots of "lads holidays". It's more normal for female friends because they tend to be more organised but it would be a rare rather than regular occurrence in addition to family holidays.

No one I know thinks friends holidays trump family/partner holidays.

I did when I was 18, then I grew up, so, no.

DH has never been on a lads holiday here and would rather crawl under a rock. He’s a dick for making you think you are lucky he wants to spend time with you and worrying he thinks it’s ok to come round to his mates view of women.

I don't date men who go on stag do's or lads holidays, they're not my style. I don't do "laddish culture". Any man who doesn't see women as friends to hang out, share hobbies/common activities/travel doesn't see women as equals. I'm not interested in them.

Go on girl 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

That would nake me question his commitment, plus you "being lucky" he wants to go on holiday with you - urgh. I would tread carefully - its not the norm to have lots.of lads holidays in a relationship in my experience, plus if you have kids (don't know if you think that's what you want or not) but is he going to continue on the lads holidays then?

Book yourself somewhere by yourself, gi e him as few details as possible. See how he takes it.

You should be so lucky, who does this charming prince think he is, Kylie Minogue?

This 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 I will never date a man like this again. They are all overgrown children.

Exactly.

He is using the sample data of his friends only, so whilst he is technically correct, the sample is skewed.

If he took a wider sample, he'd probably find the opposite true.

But as humans, we usually extend our own bubble across the entire world. "Everyone does this"

My husband tried to insinuate this in terms of how much he does with the kids and in the house... Quashed that as soon as it left his lips.
Don't use others mediocrity to allow yourself to be less than what should be.

Errrrm not ‘usual’ in my experience. Single people go on friend based holidays, couples tend to use their precious annual leave to spend time together. I have done the odd girls weekend to the theatre and himself had done the odd golfing weekend, stags and hens of course come up but ‘lads holidays’ as the norm? Nah.

Geez Louise! Your son goes on holiday up to 14 times a year?! 😲
Where the heck does he work?! 😂

This was his brothers stag, I don’t know it would have been wholly unreasonable of me even to suggest that he didn’t go on it. I know the stag was very upset that his father declined to go. The father of the bride went.

Not all stag dos are laddy, no need to group them all into a piss up on the costas.

I've been with my DH for over 35 years and we've always done a combination of family hols and hols with mates. Me more than him as my friends actually get round to instigating something rather than talking about it.

He goes on holiday once a month?

exactly mature much.
As for saying shes lucky he goes on holiday with her, he sounds such a catch.