I cannot handle my boyfriend's dog anymore

[Applecake123]

Hi everyone, I hope you are all fine!
I'm in urgent need of advice, first of all, I want to highlight that I love all kind of animals, and I don't have anything specific against any breed.

I'll tey to make it short and explain the situation, I meet my boyfriend a year ago and we had a long distance relationship, we'll visit each other each month and I must say I am happy with him, he's hard working, he's a great person, and the most important, we incredibly connect.

Two months ago we took the desicion to move together, since I discovered I got pregnant. Everything has been wonderful, he bought a house, were we are both living together, bit here is the issue;
I have two cats, who are we'll trained and have never bitten or misbehaved. My boyfriend has a 10 years old pitbull who's not trained and, unfortunately (I did not noticed this before) not very well maintained, worse part the dog is incredibly aggressive towards other animals. Until now we did try to introduce them, and my cat's are really into getting close to the dog, but everytime the dog sees the cats he just wants to run towards them and attack them.

I'm terrorised that the dog will hurt my cats, and we are into the limit were it's either the dog locked downstairs, or my cats locked in the room (which makes me terribly angry, my cats spend days and nights locked in the room with me, without access to their litter box, because the dog cannot behave).

Plus point; the dog pee and poop everywhere in the house, it doesn't matter if you just walked her for 30 minutes, she will come back, rest and pee. She did her necessities in the couch, in the bed from downstairs, and the other couch.

Maybe here I am a bit not tolerant, but I was always very high demanding with myself and how clean my house was, plus now I am pregnant and I smell things five times more, so for me is like living in a house were it constantly stinks of dog pee, poop or just dog smell (yes, my boyfriend doesn't bath the dog, so it smells terrible, I can't even eat while the dog is near me, it just makes me sick).

This whole situation is making my life miserable. I know I sound extreme with this situation, bit I just cannot continue living this situation, seeing my cat's locked In a room because the dog cannot behave, but first of all, I cannot think of my child playing on the same place were the dog did her things.

I have tried to help my boyfriend as much as I could, I understand that this whole situation is also stressful for the dog, and it's been a month we are here, but all I do is clean every day 2 or 3 times the dogs pee and the poop. (My boyfriend is working, so technically is me cleaning it or being miserable with the smell)

I get it maybe the dog is not walking enough, and I have considered walking the dog myself to fix the issue, but the problem is that the dog pulls so much when walking, that I cannot control it, this dog goes crazy when he sees an other animal, and its so strong I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to control it, and I don't want the dog killing an other animal, I am not even allowed to walk the dog (it's a dangerous breed, so it's supposed to be walked by my boyfriend only) and I'm pregnant, I don't want the dog to make me fall or have an accident.

It's just like, the dog doesn't want any solution but just to be an ass hole, she broke two dog muzzles, so the idea of introducing the dog to my cat's using a muzzle is non existent, and I won't take the risk of just letting them be and having one of my cats killed.

Now, I don't want to ask my boyfriend to get rid of the dog, it's been with him for 10 years, I deeply love my animals, and I couldn't imagine giving up one of my cats, but I am stuck.
I know it's completely impossible to train the dog, she's too old, I'm pregnant and cannot really help (I barely stand to survive my own sickness) Andy boyfriend doesn't have time to train the dog, he works all day and comes back home extremely tired.

Any ideas of how to survive this? I'm literally crying every night thinking I will lose my boyfriend and my baby will lose growing with he's dad. I don't want that, but I don't want to live a miserable life, or force my cat's to live locked in a tiny room.
I need help desperately.

He just needs to get rid of the dog

end of.

Please think very carefully about your next move.
if you have your baby in Spain, and break up with the father, you will fall under the Spanish custody system. Which is set up when you break up and stays in place until the children are 18. So you would be stuck in a country without family support, and limited resources (if you are British you are unlikely to be entitled to any).
Given that your partner hasn’t got time to date for his dog - will he have time for s baby?
what is his solution for having a dangerous breed? And faeces? Once the baby comes? Rather than demanding anything I would ask how he thinks the baby can be kept safe…

That depends if Spain allows dual citizenships with non EU countries.

I have dual citizenship (British/German).

I got my British passport 22 years ago as my dad is British.

After Brexit, I was allowed to keep my dual citizenship.

My children however, who were born after Brexit, can't get dual citizenship, as Germany doesn't allow it for non EU countries. They only have a British passport.

Not acceptable, however you must have a litter box and water available to your cats at all times. You need to put one in the room. Dog needs to go or get trained stat.

I wouldn't want to bring a child into a house with a badly trained pit bull. Either you go back to your home country if necessary, or the dog goes, and if your BF doesn't get that, then run for the hills.

Surely they’re entitled to a German passport, no?

Agree.
The only thing a dog may do is vomit on or near his or her bed if feeling sick..for some reason they don't equate feeling nauseous with the need to go outside. {At least in my experience}.

We had a really fastidious Lurcher who would be car sick on newspaper and would spend the rest of the journey scuffling the paper into a tiny tight ball so it could be cleared away easily.

Corrrr dear all these posts slagging off your boyfriend saying you shouldn't have got pregnant by him... well that's gonna make a pregnant woman feel good! 🤦🏻‍♀️ Way to go MNers!

I'm not sure why everything is so extreme on MN. The dog is old and may be incontinent due to age. Needless to say this isn't an ideal living environment for a baby but you have some time and you just need an honest conversation with your boyfriend. It may mean difficult decisions but Jesus, leaving your boyfriend etc is a little extreme MN. Talk it out, you'll feel better.

Are you in the UK? Pitbulls are illegal here.

In a nutshell you simply can't stay in this set up, for you and your coming babies safety
Frankly, your boyfriend sounds selfish and lazy and is not considering the needs of his soon to be family
I think you need to confide in your family urgently. I'm certain they will be horrified and will want to support you
You've only been together for a year so think seriously about what you want

Sorry but I don't really understand this. You must have known that he had this dog and that it was unruly and shat everywhere.
I don't get it.

First of all, this is not the dogs fault. Its your man's fault for getting a dog he wasn't going to train and spend time with.
Secondly, if you're worried about your poor cats it's only going to increase by a million once you've got a baby.
Unfortunately, the dog needs to go which is devastating for your boyfriend but your baby is the priority here.
If he refuses to rehome him then you need to move. You can't bring a baby into that environment. And the cats deserve a better life than that. You all do!

I wouldn't have a child with someone who can raise an animal like this- I would seriously reconsider the relationship

No thanks, wants to attack cats, what's to stop it attacking a baby?

That's disgusting and you will be even more horrified about it once the baby comes. I'm sorry but I just can't see how you can live with a baby and an untrained dog.

Looking after and raising a child will be a 18 year long commitment and I feel very much that this boyfriend is showing you he is not ready for fatherhood. The dog is not trained and you cannot safely bring a baby who will be then become a moving toddler and then child into this situation in good conscience. If your relationship breaks up at any point, your beloved child will potentially have time alone with their Dad without your protection and I think there are so many red flags here already I would not want this for you. Please try and imagine the worst case scenario and consider if you can cope with that.

Pitballs have been banned in the UK since 1992 and for good reason.
No way I would bring a baby and 2 cats to live with an untrained pitball who isn't used to cats or babies.
It isn't worth the risk.
Pitballs don't have personality transplants / jaw transplants just because they are in Spain.
They can still kill a baby / cat if they decide to turn unexpectedly.
I would move out ASAP before you have the baby and could possibly regret it.

bit here is the issue

You haven't identified the issue.

Your cats aren't the problem. Your baby playing where a dog has peed isn't the potential problem.

The risk of this dog one day ripping your babies face off is your actual problem. I'd start there.

Come home!

Op you clearly know about animals, if you have managed, within a year to move two cats to Spain

With passport control etc.

So you know, that living with that dog with those cats and a baby is impossible.

This is not, I've moved in with my partner and I'm worried because the dog is a dangerous breed.

This is I've moved in with my partner and the dog is an untrained, unsafe dangerous breed.

So you either get the heck out now. And take the cats back in the same manner you got them there, or the dog goes.

My biggest red flag, HE SHOULD BE REMOVING DOG. No decent man would think this was ok. We are farmers, we have more dogs than I can count. We keep them forever. We fix anything we can. But DH would shoot the dog himself before have that going on in our home.

Absolutely no way under any circumstances would I allow my baby to be in a home with a dangerous breed.

It’s not your cats I’d be as worried about as much as your baby, and for several reasons. I would be making sure you and the dog were not in the same house when your baby comes.

That lurcher is actually very cute.

This, this, this.

There is absolutely no way I would bring a baby into a house with an untrained, unhygienic pit bull. Absolutely no way! This is also a potential death sentence to your cats. I’m shuddering thinking of the potential news headlines in a few months time. Get the hell out of there if he does not give up the dog.