I cannot handle my boyfriend's dog anymore

[Applecake123]

Hi everyone, I hope you are all fine!
I'm in urgent need of advice, first of all, I want to highlight that I love all kind of animals, and I don't have anything specific against any breed.

I'll tey to make it short and explain the situation, I meet my boyfriend a year ago and we had a long distance relationship, we'll visit each other each month and I must say I am happy with him, he's hard working, he's a great person, and the most important, we incredibly connect.

Two months ago we took the desicion to move together, since I discovered I got pregnant. Everything has been wonderful, he bought a house, were we are both living together, bit here is the issue;
I have two cats, who are we'll trained and have never bitten or misbehaved. My boyfriend has a 10 years old pitbull who's not trained and, unfortunately (I did not noticed this before) not very well maintained, worse part the dog is incredibly aggressive towards other animals. Until now we did try to introduce them, and my cat's are really into getting close to the dog, but everytime the dog sees the cats he just wants to run towards them and attack them.

I'm terrorised that the dog will hurt my cats, and we are into the limit were it's either the dog locked downstairs, or my cats locked in the room (which makes me terribly angry, my cats spend days and nights locked in the room with me, without access to their litter box, because the dog cannot behave).

Plus point; the dog pee and poop everywhere in the house, it doesn't matter if you just walked her for 30 minutes, she will come back, rest and pee. She did her necessities in the couch, in the bed from downstairs, and the other couch.

Maybe here I am a bit not tolerant, but I was always very high demanding with myself and how clean my house was, plus now I am pregnant and I smell things five times more, so for me is like living in a house were it constantly stinks of dog pee, poop or just dog smell (yes, my boyfriend doesn't bath the dog, so it smells terrible, I can't even eat while the dog is near me, it just makes me sick).

This whole situation is making my life miserable. I know I sound extreme with this situation, bit I just cannot continue living this situation, seeing my cat's locked In a room because the dog cannot behave, but first of all, I cannot think of my child playing on the same place were the dog did her things.

I have tried to help my boyfriend as much as I could, I understand that this whole situation is also stressful for the dog, and it's been a month we are here, but all I do is clean every day 2 or 3 times the dogs pee and the poop. (My boyfriend is working, so technically is me cleaning it or being miserable with the smell)

I get it maybe the dog is not walking enough, and I have considered walking the dog myself to fix the issue, but the problem is that the dog pulls so much when walking, that I cannot control it, this dog goes crazy when he sees an other animal, and its so strong I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to control it, and I don't want the dog killing an other animal, I am not even allowed to walk the dog (it's a dangerous breed, so it's supposed to be walked by my boyfriend only) and I'm pregnant, I don't want the dog to make me fall or have an accident.

It's just like, the dog doesn't want any solution but just to be an ass hole, she broke two dog muzzles, so the idea of introducing the dog to my cat's using a muzzle is non existent, and I won't take the risk of just letting them be and having one of my cats killed.

Now, I don't want to ask my boyfriend to get rid of the dog, it's been with him for 10 years, I deeply love my animals, and I couldn't imagine giving up one of my cats, but I am stuck.
I know it's completely impossible to train the dog, she's too old, I'm pregnant and cannot really help (I barely stand to survive my own sickness) Andy boyfriend doesn't have time to train the dog, he works all day and comes back home extremely tired.

Any ideas of how to survive this? I'm literally crying every night thinking I will lose my boyfriend and my baby will lose growing with he's dad. I don't want that, but I don't want to live a miserable life, or force my cat's to live locked in a tiny room.
I need help desperately.

The dog peeing everywhere is, with respect, the least of your problems. It’s a dangerous breed, made more dangerous by the fact it’s not getting regularly walked and having its territory invaded by cats and a new human.

There is going to be a serious risk to the life of your baby from this animal. It will need to be locked away, making it more aggressive, but really either you need to move out, or the dog does.

Didn’t you notice the dog and it’s behaviour when you visited once a month before making the decision to move in and get pregnant? 🤦‍♀️

Why oh why are you cleaning up after HIS dog?? Tell him to do it and do it properly. Given the age of the dog - it probably won't be around for too much longer if you are lucky. But it's not a good thing to have around when there is a baby on the way.

Move back to UK, have your baby, pursue a long distance relationship with your partner visiting you here, until the dog dies (it's already 10, so...)

I love dogs and am a dog owner, but Christ, I couldn't live with a dog that weed and pooed all over the house. It's not hygenic if you're pregnant. Either the dog needs to move out, or you do!

Urgh. Pointless scolding her now isn't it? Did it make you feel better?

I think you need to give him the chance to fix the situation as the dog peeing everywhere is not a safe environment for a baby, however much more of a worry is an untrained around your baby. Even if the dog stops peeing everywhere, he baths it etc there's a reasonable chance it could attack your baby, especially if it is peeing everywhere now in response to your moving in. I agree a dog is for life but I wouldn't have a baby in the house with a dog like that. So the only choice sadly is the dog goes.

You really need to go home and be with people you know really well for this time.

The situation you are in is high risk for your baby from a hygiene point of view and a safety point of view.

This guy you think it's amazing had put zero effort into teaching his dog any good habits, not does he give his dog a good quality of life.
He fits not have the self discipline and character to raise another human.

You might have been bowled over by your incredible connection but you have known him a grand total of one year and even then on a long distance basis, you gave no idea who you are really sharing your life with and who will be raising your child with you.

Your baby is highly likely to trigger the worst characteristics of either the man who the sort of person who is disinclined to put any effort into raising his dog, and an aggressive reactive dog.

Babies cry and are very demanding, they are also vulnerable to disease. That is not compatible with your current accommodation and life partner.

Honestly, it's not nice for your baby to not have their dad, but there are worse fates. Dog attack, disease from faeces and parents in a poor relationship (your relationship can only deteriorate while this goes on) are worse.

You're not being intolerant not liking what you see... You're being normal.

Who in their right mind will take on an animal aggressive strong Pit Bull who shits and pisses all over the furniture?
Plus it’s an old dog.

There are plenty of good young dogs of more socially acceptable types desperate for homes.
”Pissfingers” dogs like these will just languish in a shelter for the rest of their lives.

Would YOU take on a dog such as this?

No one in their right mind would.

If it was gentle , old and clean and well trained, it would still be hard because it’s a pit bull.

Absolutely no way would I be bringing my baby home to an aggressive female dog that isn't trained. You need to find a way to move out or have the dog rehomed.

This all sounds really poorly thought out. It sounds like neither of you thought any of this through before deciding to get pregnant ahead of you moving in. Had you not rushed things with your relationship, tried the cats out first before moving in, you wouldn't be in this position. To be honest, you both have acted irresponsibily here. It's time to either move out with the cats or re-home your cats.

Unfortunately she won’t be able to re home her baby 😩

A 10 year old Pitbull that pisses and shits all over the place? Can anyone really be suggesting it can be rehomed? Who on earth would take this dog on. I think this dog is seriously unstable. Normal dogs will make for a door or a tiled floor if they suddenly need to toilet and can’t get out. It is very strange this dog is using the sofa and bed. It seems quite disturbed by life at the moment which makes it quite a risk to live with and totally unsuitable to be round a child. Your partner should be considering PTS as the dog is clearly very unhappy and he cannot or will not look after it properly.

Nothing to do with scolding. She's posted on a public forum that she's met, got pregnant and moved countries to be with a long distance partner she's saw only a handful of times, and said she didn't notice the dig would be a problem. Is noone allowed to question why?

Wasn’t feeling bad to begin with so no need. Then again, I’m not the one who rushed into a relationship, a baby and a dangerous incontinent dog for a flatmate.

Seriously, the dog has to go. And the man if necessary!

You are choosing not to let your cats have access to their litter tray by not putting one in your bedroom.

OP are you sane?
Getting pregnant in another country, without a job, with "boyfriend" you just met, in his house...

Do you even have documentation you can stay in Spain for prolonged period of time?
Go and ask legal advice if you don't have residency there as in many countries it is not granted just on bases that you gave birth. You may be risking deportation.

After child is born you cannot leave the country with it even if case he is abusive as Spain will be childs primary residence and it got father there.
If you split up it is unlikely you will be primary carer as you are not resident and do not have home or job. You can easily end up homeless.

No adult dog should be lightly introduced to a baby. It takes training and it is obvious none of you can train a dog. Not to mention - it is dangerous breed. Pittbulls and bully crosses do kill children on regular basis. You will not be able to protect your baby or toddler.

In short, you are risking deportation, being homeless, abuse, possibly being attacked by dog and having your newborn killed by a mad dog.

If I woke up in your place I would get money in any way possible and jump on a first plane to UK. You have chance to sort your life here.
And if love of your life wants to play dad he can move to UK and visit you.
In the current scenario you are just temporary uterus untill he gets a baby.

What an extraordinary bin fire of a situation this is.

A quick pregnancy following a short long-distance relationship, a lack of financial stability, the dog is stressed, the cats are stressed, a young child will potentially be put in danger...

Absolutely nothing about this makes me think 'yeah, the OP and her boyfriend sound like fine, upstanding people who will undoubtedly make excellent parents'.

Christ on a bike.

I don't think you understand what I said. Maybe go back and read it again. I can't stand pitbulls, so perhaps try being a little bit less knee-jerk?

Did it take your brain long to come up with that crap?!

She can't be. Surely to god nobody would actually put themselves in this position?!!

NRTFT

You want to bring a BABY into this? He can't even train his dog to not shit everywhere - there's no way you'll be able to trust the dog around the baby

This. It's almost as useful as a stamp on the forehead, if people only had the sense to read it.

surely your boyfriend knew the dog hated other animals so why on earth would he agree for a girlfriend and 2 cats to move in?