I cannot handle my boyfriend's dog anymore

[Applecake123]

Hi everyone, I hope you are all fine!
I'm in urgent need of advice, first of all, I want to highlight that I love all kind of animals, and I don't have anything specific against any breed.

I'll tey to make it short and explain the situation, I meet my boyfriend a year ago and we had a long distance relationship, we'll visit each other each month and I must say I am happy with him, he's hard working, he's a great person, and the most important, we incredibly connect.

Two months ago we took the desicion to move together, since I discovered I got pregnant. Everything has been wonderful, he bought a house, were we are both living together, bit here is the issue;
I have two cats, who are we'll trained and have never bitten or misbehaved. My boyfriend has a 10 years old pitbull who's not trained and, unfortunately (I did not noticed this before) not very well maintained, worse part the dog is incredibly aggressive towards other animals. Until now we did try to introduce them, and my cat's are really into getting close to the dog, but everytime the dog sees the cats he just wants to run towards them and attack them.

I'm terrorised that the dog will hurt my cats, and we are into the limit were it's either the dog locked downstairs, or my cats locked in the room (which makes me terribly angry, my cats spend days and nights locked in the room with me, without access to their litter box, because the dog cannot behave).

Plus point; the dog pee and poop everywhere in the house, it doesn't matter if you just walked her for 30 minutes, she will come back, rest and pee. She did her necessities in the couch, in the bed from downstairs, and the other couch.

Maybe here I am a bit not tolerant, but I was always very high demanding with myself and how clean my house was, plus now I am pregnant and I smell things five times more, so for me is like living in a house were it constantly stinks of dog pee, poop or just dog smell (yes, my boyfriend doesn't bath the dog, so it smells terrible, I can't even eat while the dog is near me, it just makes me sick).

This whole situation is making my life miserable. I know I sound extreme with this situation, bit I just cannot continue living this situation, seeing my cat's locked In a room because the dog cannot behave, but first of all, I cannot think of my child playing on the same place were the dog did her things.

I have tried to help my boyfriend as much as I could, I understand that this whole situation is also stressful for the dog, and it's been a month we are here, but all I do is clean every day 2 or 3 times the dogs pee and the poop. (My boyfriend is working, so technically is me cleaning it or being miserable with the smell)

I get it maybe the dog is not walking enough, and I have considered walking the dog myself to fix the issue, but the problem is that the dog pulls so much when walking, that I cannot control it, this dog goes crazy when he sees an other animal, and its so strong I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to control it, and I don't want the dog killing an other animal, I am not even allowed to walk the dog (it's a dangerous breed, so it's supposed to be walked by my boyfriend only) and I'm pregnant, I don't want the dog to make me fall or have an accident.

It's just like, the dog doesn't want any solution but just to be an ass hole, she broke two dog muzzles, so the idea of introducing the dog to my cat's using a muzzle is non existent, and I won't take the risk of just letting them be and having one of my cats killed.

Now, I don't want to ask my boyfriend to get rid of the dog, it's been with him for 10 years, I deeply love my animals, and I couldn't imagine giving up one of my cats, but I am stuck.
I know it's completely impossible to train the dog, she's too old, I'm pregnant and cannot really help (I barely stand to survive my own sickness) Andy boyfriend doesn't have time to train the dog, he works all day and comes back home extremely tired.

Any ideas of how to survive this? I'm literally crying every night thinking I will lose my boyfriend and my baby will lose growing with he's dad. I don't want that, but I don't want to live a miserable life, or force my cat's to live locked in a tiny room.
I need help desperately.

Hell no.
An untrained pit bull. And a baby? Crapping in the house 3x a day? And your boyfriend is fine with this? The house must be disgusting. Start learning the language and get a job if you want to stay, but seriously go home. You’re with someone who doesn’t care enough for you to stop his dog shitting all over the sofa 3x a day or worries about your future baby? He’s not just waving a red flag but he’s proud of it.

I'm thinking this is an 'all pitbulls are evil killers' thread.

If the dog is such a danger, it would have killed the cats by now. Those dogs really don't give any quarter.

So what? It's a dangerous dog that needs to be muzzled and licensed in Spain. I don't have hours to read every comment as it comes in.

But still worth asking. People have choices.

You need to move back out as the stress is bad for your pregnancy.

The dog won't live forever, and if you have to live apart until that happens then so be it.

I can't understand how this obvious issue wasn't discussed before you moved in, but what's done is done.

You can't carry on living like you are ..you know that, don't you?

Would it help to think about this from another perspective; this isn’t a suitable home for the dog. It sounds like a miserable situation for an animal like that. I understand that you feel strongly that a pet is for life, but that sentiment can be too simplistic for some situations. If you take the your guilt out of the equation, and your boyfriend’s potential sadness, what you’re left with the question of what’s best for the animal. And this situation is not it.

I know pregnancy hormones can be a head wrecker but you’re about to be hit soon with the tsunami of motherhood guilt and it’s important to recognise that it is a completely useless, paralysing thought stopping emotion. All sorts of things happen as a parent and you have to dust yourself off and get on with it. Guilt will drain you when all that’s necessary is to make the best decision in imperfect circumstances and live with it.

The dog needs to go, or the boyfriend and the dog. It's bad enough having cats in that environment, let alone a baby. No child should be stuck in that set-up, and an untrained dog with a strong bite is a recipe for disaster (saying that as someone who has had dogs, including a big dog with a strong bite).

I think you really need to consider moving back to the UK (alone if necessary) before the baby is born. Otherwise, you're stuck out there with that situation and might not be able to move back by yourself after the baby is born due to custody rules in the event of a split.

I don't have time to RTFT thanks and I'm sure hardly anyone does. And so what? Pitbulls need to be muzzled and licensed in Spain as they are considered a dangerous breed in spanish Law. Other than it being legal to rehome it, everything else still applies. The OP didn't say she was in Spain in her initial posts, mumsnet is a UK based forum so of course I would assume she's in the UK. What was the point in quoting me with your pedantics? Maybe answer OP and leave me to do the same in peace.

I'm unsure as to why you've replied to me twice. Did pointing something out make you really, really cross?

If you are an expert on Spanish Law and benefits then why don't you give OP your advice instead of quoting me over and over. No, I will not RTFT.

It sounds a complete disaster in the making - However there are women rash enough to ''Fall pregnant'' to useless men.

How could he afford to buy a house if he wasn't working?!

Because my battery died and I thought the 1st reply cut off as I was posting it. Besides, you have replied/quoted me on each post I put so I have also responded to each of your posts quoting me. Why are there always folk that have hours to waste going through every single comment to nitpick? Get a life!!!

No it isn’t because neither OP nor her partner have the maturity, knowledge or time to do any of that before the baby is born.

Also no amount of training a 10 year old neglected aggressive non toilet trained pit bull will render it safe around the cats or baby.

Either the dog goes, or OP goes home to family. There are no other sane options here.

You need to take control of your life. Get some independence, get a job and advocate for your self, your cats and your baby.

It is unlikely you are going to be happy and your baby safe in this situation.

Where were you living before you moved in?

OP has said the cats have had to be kept in a closed room so the dog doesn't get to them so that's why the pitbull hasn't killed the cats yet. She has also said the dog has a high prey drive. But, yeah, just you ignore all that, like all the usual apologists for these out of control breeds that were bred to kill and bite and lock on and continue to spout your "it's not the breed" bollocks. Look at the statistics on kills before the bans/legislation.

Go home, OP. You say you don’t want to make him get rid of the dog - going home will ensure he doesn’t have to do that. More importantly, it’s much better for your health and that of your unborn baby, and better for your cats too.

If the dog is 10, she might only live a couple of years more. You can then consider moving back in with him then.

Some people have suggested going back home which seems sensible.
can you afford an intense training course for the dog? House and lead training? This won’t help him with the cats but at least he may be better on the lead and not messing in house.
Get a dog flap on the door and a dog walker for him too so he’s out and exercised daily.
sad situation x

I think you need to talk to your partner. The dog needs to go. I can't see a baby being safe with that dog or the dirty environment. Either that or he kennels the dog outside with a fenced off part of the garden and takes responsibility for cleaning it and taking the dog out.

Get the cats put to sleep.

So, you moved your cats to a new country, having no job and no means of support, and moved in with an internet boyfriend and you are now pregnant?

You need to contact local social services before they contact you, OP. You can start the process simply by vising a doctor.

You cannot even do what is best for 2 cats, how do you imagine will you look after a human baby?

Ah - another delightful member of the ‘pitbulls can do no wrong and are perfectly safe’ club! They must’ve slapped that dangerous dog act ban on them for fun

didnt you post about this a couple of times already? you wanted to move to the US to be with your BF and you didnt know how the cats would handle it...?

I agree with this approach. Can you try and persuade your partner that rehoming responsibly is by far the best solution for the dog which is frustrated. Personally though I think rehoming is going to be very problematic given it’s issues. PTS may be safer solution. I’m sorry.

But op you cannot bring a new baby in to this environment. It is time for your partner to acknowledge that his circumstances have changed and his child is the priority now.

I don't think pitbulls are familiar with the difference between English and Spanish law. The point is a pit bull is a pit bull whether it's in the UK or Spain and equally a threat.

@Applecake123

Can I ask how are you going to manage with this dangerous breed of dog when your child is born?

how can u possible deal with that you can’t lock your baby in the room like you do with your cats because your scared incase the dog kill the cats?

what if the dog attacks your baby?
what will you do if that happens?

not been cruel OP I just think you need to look for alternatives ASAP!

even if that means looking for accommodation within your local council.