Paying to attend a baby shower???

[Sunshinemarie]

A work colleague/friend has invited me to their baby shower which is £20 to attend! Is this normal nowadays? Just seems a lot when the expectation for baby showers is to take a gift aswell.

Wow, the brass neck! Do you think they’d charge people to attend an engagement party, 18th birthday or a Golden wedding party at a hotel?!

If they can’t afford to host a fancy event (I wouldn’t be able to), they shouldn’t expect other people to subsidise them!

I'd absolutely prefer not to be invited to anything where I had to pay and was also expected to take along a gift.
A baby shower is an opportunity to make a fuss of the woman who is pregnant and "shower" her with gifts. Not my scene but I do understand people like them.
I have done birthday meals with friends where we all pay (and reasonably we all have a birthday so everyone has a turn to get presents) but if someone had a 40th or a wedding or a baby shower, I would be expecting them to host it and pay for it.

The issue here is that like with lots of other celebrities, for example birthdays, there is no one size fits all. People are applying their idea of a baby shower to a situation that is likely different. Whilst some may be about presents others aren’t and are just about doing something nice with friends.
some may be at a hired location or at home whilst others are just booking a table in a restaurant.
some are organised by the mum to be or upon their request but others are organised by someone else without them even knowing or with their knowledge but not initiated by them.

If it's a proper plated meal/set menu thats fine but i wouldnt pay for a buffet. It's incredibly tight to throw a party and have your guests pay for it! Just have it at home.

I didnt have one but did celebrate the baptism of both DC when they were a few months old, i paid for all the food and drink though!

This is about paying to go to a friends baby shower event. It’s not about meeting up for a chat.

I had no idea people did make charges for baby showers, until reading this thread. I had thought they were a party at home with food and drink supplied by the hosts (maybe grandma or aunty to be or maybe best friend, even husband) party games and present given.

Same with gender reveal, party somewhere and the mum and dad pay for the event and guests attend, but don't bring presents

Well, it's the complete opposite in my social circles.
You pay for your own meal/drinks.

We don’t even know of the £20 covers her food and drinks.

We don’t even know of the £20 covers her food and drinks.

I wasn't responding to the OP.
I was replying to the poster who said if you invite someone you should pay.

Well that just sounds like an average get together and not a baby shower. Celebrating a pregnancy is very important especially if the mother has struggled to conceive. Adding balloons, presents, tat and costly expenses is very different, and changes the tone of the event especially if the guests are expected to pay for the mother to be AND bring a gift!

It seems like grasping to me. You either host the event and pay for guests and possibly accept gifts or you allow your friends to pay as a gift to you - to expect both is really not cool and firmly CF territory.

Well it depends on the nature of the baby shower

You must excuse we Americans for starting such “common” traditions. Here in the former colonies, we are sadly all commoners, with no Lord and Lady Thingamajig or Duchess of Whatsitshire to set the proper example. 😂

Made me think of the sex and the city episode

Lots of baby showers are just get togethers. That’s the issue people have a preconceived idea of a baby shower when in reality lots are just get togethers. There doesn’t need to be decorations.
if you think of it more of a get together then paying for your own food /drink is a lot more reasonable

Well then it’s just a lunch - no presents required.

It's been very interesting reading all the replies. Thank you to everyone who took the time to reply.
A poster said about cutting your cloth accordingly and this hits the nail on the head for me!! If you want a party in a hotel with catered food but you can't afford to pay for your guests then surely you should rethink! I couldn't imagine getting the guests to pay for the party you want.

I relate very strongly to that episode!

America is not the UK, it’s not our culture or tradition and it IS tacky/common to import other peoples culture just so you can get more gifts and attention. It’s not reflection/judgement on Americans.

well a lot of baby showers are not about presents so yup

If this is a good friend, I would attend, but wouldn't be buying anything at that point. Would consider something when baby arrives, probably for mum rather than baby (they always receive so many things).

Maybe they've hired a stripper.

Then it's not a bloody baby shower!

I hate them. So grabby! If you want one then you
Should stump up the cost. In my opinion!

Clearly NOT a baby shower, that is just a few drinks to celebrate a pregnancy (mocktails for MTB) which sounds infinitely less grasping than the 'baby shower' that includes the expectation of gifts and gushing. Not to mention plastic tat and cheap decorations. The only person benefiting is Jeff Bezos and the multi millionaires that the run the sweat shops in China.

Cultures change and evolve, no need to be pompous.