Paying to attend a baby shower???

[Sunshinemarie]

A work colleague/friend has invited me to their baby shower which is £20 to attend! Is this normal nowadays? Just seems a lot when the expectation for baby showers is to take a gift aswell.

Thank you! I must admit to being confused, but a fundraising event for baby gifts makes more sense.

...and the devil will also charge you £20 for the privilege...

Yes it’s supposed to be in celebration of the baby’s pre arrival but then here same parents expect another set of presents when the baby actually appears. It is entitled behaviour that many of us go to great lengths to avoid. It’s an expensive waste of time - especially if you are given a colour scheme to adhere to. Or exact requirements of vegan, organic, fair trade green washed tat etc. Nauseating.

And you will be expected to gush for hours at how well the mother to be looks, hear in excruciating detail what the final name list is likely to be and the most boring mundane afternoon of your life. Torturous.

based on my experience it’s an afternoon tea/lunch with a group of women ahead of one of them having a baby. It has been organised by the rest of the group for the one having the baby and is NOT about presents (although a group present is given). It is not grabby, just a fun meet up of friends before a women’s life gets crazy

someone likely told her that they were organising it for her but needed help in inviting her friends so asked her to set that up and disappear. I have seen that happening multiple times for stag/hen/baby shower. Not everything is about people being entitled and grabby

Wow, you know you don’t need to go.

For some it may be fundraising for others it’s just a get together with some food. Maybe a party/maybe more going out for afternoon tea or lunch

Can't stand baby showers, so attention seeking and grabby so I would never attend. One woman I know ( family member) had a baby shower. Afternoon tea in a nice hotel, everybody paid for themselves and the mother to be. She had a gift list of items she wanted and the cracker was her sister also requested everybody chip in to buy mother to be a hotel voucher for after baby was born so she could have a spa break and treat herself.

F* right of.

I'm organising one
It's £11 per person
That's for the venue and a buffet and unlimited tea and coffee
The guest are paying to come
If I could afford to cover the cost I would
There are 10 of us.
It was in invite....nobody had to come !

God, another reason to hate baby showers (not that I needed another one)

Don’t worry there is no chance of that!

I am all for shared experiences and would rather spend time with my friends that didn’t cost them money, and have a heart to heart about the realities and solutions to motherhood and the experiences of pregnancy over a cup of tea. To offer real support to my friends when the baby comes rather than encouraging vacuous narcissism. Thankfully they have died out in my circles.

Yeesh. Horrible imported americanism that really doesn't work with British approach to gift giving. Very materialistic. Maybe it works ok in the US but I'd avoid like the plague here.

I'd say no and just send her a present when the baby comes.

And the presents?

Why is it fun sitting in a venue drinking tea for your guests? Couldn’t you at least give them the option of a cocktail to make it more bearable?

You couldn’t drag me to a baby shower, let alone get me to pay to attend one.

I think baby showers are beyond naff. I'm 66 so remember the time when people didn't buy a lot until the baby had arrived safely. When I had my daughter 30 yrs ago, my colleagues bought a -going on maternity leave- gift for me, not the baby. I wouldn't be paying but would send a gift when the baby had arrived or if pressured, to the expectant mum.

Baby showers are sad and really passé.

I would not embarrass myself by having one, and certainly wouldn't be 'charging' my friends to attend! What is wrong with just serving tea and cake at home and having a natter?! Why the balloons, presents and grabbiness? Not a fan, at all.

Like a PP, I have a vestigial superstition left about celebrating before the birth. I’m mostly rational otherwise.

I don’t get what the invitation is for as the ‘guests’ are paying to be there. Are you paying your £11 or are they subsidising your attendance?

What’s hard to understand. She is organising one for somebody’s else ; it will cost everyone including her £11.

by invite the guests were not forced to come and pay money- they were asked if they wanted to.

this poster has kept the cost low and then gets criticised for not offering a cocktail. Cocktails cost money so would require people to pay more - you can’t have it both ways.

So why bother??

That’s not an invitation in my books. I find it odd to ask guests to pay. Happily I don’t ask my friends and family to pay for seeing me.

One of my daughters in law had a baby shower.
Then the baby was stillborn.
No one in the family has had or attended one since.
Celebrate once the baby has safely arrived in the world instead.

So every time you ask someone if they want to go out for a coffee/food etc you pay for them? It’s not about them paying to see you, it’s about them paying for their food and drink that they had whilst out with you

Curious what the buffet consists of?