Nephew is ruining holiday

[Meltdowmahem]

NC for this

we’re on a trip or a lifetime. Meant to be the happiest place in the world but DN is ruining it for everyone.

meltdown after meltdown. Mainly about what to wear, what to eat, doesn’t want to wear suncream, cries and screams for an hour, finally agrees to put suncream on and then immediately run into the pool, gets burnt badly on shoulders, then screams and shouts about how awful the sunburn is.

constantly moans that cousins/siblings are getting more (they aren’t)

now we have an event that only DN can do due to age, but it requires them to wear a wetsuit, which they’re now wailing about, as if the rules will suddenly be changed due to their behaviour

I’m finding myself getting more and more frustrated, and fear I’ll just explode in a fit of anger and end up saying something I might later regret (not regret but for the sake of family harmony I should just keep my mouth shut)

DN has been a nightmare for years so to a certain extent I knew it would be potentially an issue but it’s just way worse than I anticipated.

any tips for keeping sane 😂😂

Do you have kids of your own? You should know then that the problem isn't actually DN. It's how he's been parented.

Breathe. Drink wine. Be thankful he's not yours.

This is the reason we don’t go on family holidays. Dh’s siblings all go on holiday together but it’s not for me, dh won’t go without me, for some reason so misses out,

i couldn’t spend that long time with some of his siblings.

we all parent so different and also when drinking is involved it’s not fun.

Yes I do, I have 6 year old twins

Not clear on age. But if he's a bit older can you divide up days so you are not with him all the time?
Kids club? Send him on some organised activity with one parent? Or take yourself off for a day trip by yourself or with DP

Florida ? It’s a hard holiday if it is, jet lag, the time difference etc. all makes everyone tired and grumpy, plus walking around parks in the heat 🤷‍♀️

You may well find the issue isn't down to how he is being 'parented' sounds very much like my ND son and believe me I try everything

Is this Discovery Cove? Do you have to hang out together all the time or can you walk off and say we want to do y and we'll meet you xx in 2 hours??

How old is he?

I have little patience with poor behaviour and would probably lose my cool.

Could you take him to one side and put the hard word on him?

Actual meltdowns? So is he ND? Probably all too much for him.

Do your own thing for a day or two, meet up in the evening.

For the suncream tantrums, remove yourself from it, go get in the pool at the opposite end. He's not your responsibility.

Hmm think that's a bit of an early diagnosis without further information. His parents haven't been mentioned.

Can you have a day doing something away from nephew? Give you a break.

unless there is something underlying the behaviour it is down to his parents.

I would try to ignore as much as possible or just be super calem and factual when dealing with comments about cousins getting more.

Split the families up! Take yourself off on nice days out with your DC, screw the moany DN!

Disney is SO expensive. I couldn’t tolerate this.

tonight tell don’t ask and say tomorrow you are doing X with your kids and you’ll see them at dinner.

tomorrow at dinner say you had such a great time you are doing it again.
ignore any protests and just explain it’s incredibly expensive and everyone should enjoy it to the max and emphasise they are welcome to do some solo holidaying too.

If he's your DN do you have to spend each day with him?

I'd be cheerfully saying, 'Have a fab day today, Sis. DH, the twins and I are off to do our own thing. Maybe catch you for an evening meal'.

I would not have 'the holiday of a lifetime' spoilt by a child that wasn't mine.

If DN is 6 or under I would probably be more understanding.

If he's 18+ he needs to get a grip 🤣

This is why I only really want to holiday with my own DC.

Head off on your own with ur kids, don't let him ruin their holiday ffs.

Some kids are just badly behaved not all.of them are ND ,and i say this as the parent of a severely autistic teenager with extremely challenging behaviour.

Well the age of the child would be helpful, it's hard. To comment otherwise

Be grateful you're not his parent and enjoy your own kids

How old is he? This is crucial information.

DN is 10 and yes there are suspicions that ND may be an issue, but at school they are absolutely fine. I’m aware that they are probably masking

there is a lot of family history, which I’m not going to go into in any depth as I don’t want to be identified

Ive long thought that DN needs therapy but it just falls on deaf ears

Butlins isn’t for everyone unfortunately and this kid might just not like the vibe.