To refuse to go on any holidays this year ?

[Sunnydaysathome]

Every year for the last 6 years we have done 3 breaks a year one abroad in summer , and 2 UK breaks (one coastal and one to see dh family Easter and then may half term)

I hate it. It’s never relaxing. The dc get travel sick, I hate organising and packing etc. I don’t like dh’s family’s dogs and cats. The last 2 years I haven’t been happy about it but dh took over the organising hit when away it’s still the same I don’t feel like I’m having a break it’s just non stop .

I told dh last year that this year I wasn’t going anywhere. I reiterated this multiple times . He’s now annoyed that nothing is booked for Easter.
There are plenty of things dc can do for days out. Or he can take them if he wanted but it’s hard as one has SEN so in reality it needs both of us there.

I told him his family can get an air bnb near us and visit us rather than us driving hours

Surely sometimes people take a year off from holidays ?? I just can’t face it this year.

Also if it’s relevant I’m 47 and peri menopausal and just exhausted in general and want a year off

If you don't enjoy it, it's fair not to go, or fair to think of other options that may work better.
What do your DC enjoy doing?
Would there be other alternatives everyone would be happy with?
I suppose family life is all about compromise.

Can you do holidays that are more relaxing than what you currently do?

We have a lovely huge garden I just to spend summer days there the dc always love that we could get one of those big pools etc. bbqs . Dh family could still see the dc but they can come to us !!
Days out , parks, museums etc

Whatever we do by the time we are there I’m exhausted and dc are moody as travelling isn’t easy. Then it’s just same stuff different location and I never sleep well away from home . I can’t exactly put my finger on it but I feel so much anxiety when thinking about holidays now I really don’t like them !

How old are your DC? I have 3 DC , but by the time i was perimenopausal and 47 , mine were 16, 20 and 22

14,12,6 (6 year old has SEN)

I think at least you should go to visit his family with him, that would seem a fair compromise

I can’t face it. The long drive with car sick kids, the pets , the overstimulating atmosphere for ds, just all of it. My idea of a compromise was suggesting they visit us as we have an air bnb next door to us and the owners are lovely then they could see dh and the dc still

Yabu as I personally think holidays are essential but you clearly need to change your holidays as yours sound shit. Sorry. They should be fun, not a chore.

Seeing family is a chore and never a holiday!!!!

Yabu because visiting family isn't a holiday, it's family. How about getting somewhere better to stay near his family so you can relax.

I love holidays so I really don't get it!

The only type of holiday I would accept right now is one alone 😂😂😂

I love a good holiday but not when it's stressful like that!

Have you tried Stugeron for the motion sickness? Worked with mine and has the added bonus of knocking them out for the entire drive.

I know that's only a small fragment of the problem though, and there's nothing wrong with being a homebody. Can you float the idea of the in-laws getting a nice cottage near you, and you'll have a staycation in the summer? BBQs, garden games, swimming, do a faux posh garden party with little cakes and finger sandwiches, whatever floats your collective boats. Just have a fun relaxing week together at home?

I can't understand your mindset so for that reason YABU. I love holidays and love the planning. I get excited about them. I do understand the journey's can be tricky but I have tried over the years to improve the journey by making sure we all have snacks/breaks etc and make them as nice as possible. I think the family one is not fair though and you should do that one at least. Or alternatively if you really can't face it then let the rest of them go without you.

Seeing family is not a holiday. Could DH take the kids to see his family and you stay home?
What do the DC want to do?

Sounds like you all the work for and on these “holidays”.
I don’t count visiting my in laws as a holiday. They are lovely but it’s something we have do rather than suiting ourselves. It’s “going away” like a work trip, not a holiday .
I agree the in laws can stay near you. I would definitely take the kids away still Just make the holidays more interesting for you.

Do you work OP? Sounds like an ideal opportunity for DH to take kids on his own and you to save some leave and spend it doing why you want with the kids in summer.

Even if you don’t work you’re still allowed to stay at home mind you!!

He would take the older two himself but not ds and ds often requires 2:1 care so we really need to be together majority of the time for things (i think I could manage at home with ds though for a weekend but dh says he couldn’t take him as wouldn’t manage)

This is exactly the sort of thing I had in mind

My kids are 30, 33 and 26 now….. they always talk about the great holidays they enjoyed as kids….. it makes it worth it that we prioritised holidays for them…... just take yours on 1….. can’t you go away with your DP ….we always had a few days away together just us….then I would have a couple of girls weekends away….could you do this?

This is fine when they are little…..it’s not going to cut it with a 12 and 14 year old though….they will just be bored….and want to go out with their mates…..so limited family time…..but OP may not be looking for this?

I don’t really have any friends at all but I’d quite happily go somewhere alone . I think I’ve just reached saturation point with everything and just can’t manage it this year

I think YABU.

You are organising miserable weeks away and calling them holidays.

Instead of improving things, you are cancelling holidays. This isn’t fair on your older kids or your DH.

I think it’s fair enough to take a break for a year. I don’t care for travel either but realise that my partner likes it so go on trips, this year we’re cutting back but I frankly can’t be arsed with childcare in a place that I’m not familiar with. Next year I’ll be back.