Locking doors at night

[SillyPanda]

I can’t believe I’m writing this but I’m at my wits end.

DP and I have an ongoing argument about whose responsibility it is to check all doors are locked at night.

My rule is that it should be the last person to bed.

His rule is it should be whoever used it last locks it at the time and therefore no pressure if someone (him) doesn't check at night.

I think my rule is ‘the best’ as it’s a safety issue and takes 2 mins to check.

I also co-sleep with DD and go to bed around 7.30pm with her. DP helps with this routine of settling her etc. and then heads out the front door for a cigarette. He mostly ensures this one locked afterwards but there have been occasions it’s latched (issue with door) so safe to say his attention to detail is low with this topic.

Most of the time I fall asleep with DD, sometimes I come back downstairs for a bit. DP is always with me then and we verbally agree who should check the doors if he decides to go to bed before me.

So many times I’ve gotten up in the morning (or middle of the night with DD) to find back doors unlocked. This always concerns me, and I mention it to DD he is always defensive about it or considers me to be stressing out to much and nothing has happened etc.

We also have 2 back doors with both handles that are a bit stiff, so easy to check and make a mistake - but my view is check properly and do the job correctly.

AIBU or not?

Yes the insurance might not pay out. Likewise the car insurance might not. Thieves want car keys, if you have a decent car, then it's only a matter of time before they hit your area.

Then there's the children getting out. That depends on your door etc. But then there's been random murders/rapes etc and I don't understand why anyone would put their children at risk.

We have never actually spoken about it but have always silently worked on the basis of it being the responsibility of the last person to bed who checks the doors are locked. I say checks, because actually most of the time I’ve already locked them earlier. Since having a second child, we both do the kids’ bedtimes together - one of us does one kid, the other does the other - and I don’t like the idea of us all being upstairs in the evening with the doors downstairs unlocked, so I always lock them now before we go up, but DH double checks before heading up to bed (he’s usually later than me - if I am later than him, I check again myself).

I don’t know why it has to be one person’s responsibility at one single point in time? Why can’t you both take it upon yourselves to lock/check?

also have a dog