Locking doors at night

[SillyPanda]

I can’t believe I’m writing this but I’m at my wits end.

DP and I have an ongoing argument about whose responsibility it is to check all doors are locked at night.

My rule is that it should be the last person to bed.

His rule is it should be whoever used it last locks it at the time and therefore no pressure if someone (him) doesn't check at night.

I think my rule is ‘the best’ as it’s a safety issue and takes 2 mins to check.

I also co-sleep with DD and go to bed around 7.30pm with her. DP helps with this routine of settling her etc. and then heads out the front door for a cigarette. He mostly ensures this one locked afterwards but there have been occasions it’s latched (issue with door) so safe to say his attention to detail is low with this topic.

Most of the time I fall asleep with DD, sometimes I come back downstairs for a bit. DP is always with me then and we verbally agree who should check the doors if he decides to go to bed before me.

So many times I’ve gotten up in the morning (or middle of the night with DD) to find back doors unlocked. This always concerns me, and I mention it to DD he is always defensive about it or considers me to be stressing out to much and nothing has happened etc.

We also have 2 back doors with both handles that are a bit stiff, so easy to check and make a mistake - but my view is check properly and do the job correctly.

AIBU or not?

We never lock our doors when home, front and back unlocked all night.

Genuine question but why not? Might as well not bother having them if you're not going to lock them.

My kids go in and out the doors approximately 480 times a day. Only locked at night.

That's not a 'check' though. That's just locking the door behind you.

In order to conduct a check, it has to be separate from last using the door. The most appropriate person to do that is the last possible person who could use the door - the last person to bed.

Never have and never remember to!

We always lock the front door after a visitor to next-door, just strolled in one day!
The back door, my DH would forget from time to time until one day he was putting on his shoes to go out and put his hand on the handle to study himself and fill out the door!

Do you think you would remember to in future if you were burgled?

Surely you'd rather not go through something like that when you could so easily prevent it? I honestly can't understand the mindset of making it easier for someone to come in and take my things and go through my belongings.

Surely this invalidates your contents insurance? I couldn't sleep if I thought there was any chance of someone being able to just walk into my house.

In our house it’s my husband’s job, simples…🤣

We have a hook beside the back door. If the door isn't locked, the key is in the door keyhole. When anyone locks the door, they put the key on the hook. Then it's easy to see if the door is locked (though we do occasionally check to be sure).

Mines like this. Drives me fucking nuts on those am's when you leave early to catch a holiday flight. Especially when he's "secured " a particular room DD just nonchalantly wanders in looking for a phone cable. Then he has to start the ENTIRE room again.

I'm trying to accept it's his "process".

Precisely.

@ChickpeaPie most burglaries actually don’t involve smashed windows IIRC.

the vast majority of burglars will go for the quick, safe and quiet option.
That’s open windows, unlocked doors, windows that can be unscrewed in less than 5 minutes etc.

every additional obstacle will therefore drastically decrease your risk of being the victim of a burglary / home invasion.

I would stick a note on bathroom or bedroom door saying 'are doors locked'

I always check before I go to bed. I used to always lock the doors when I came in from the garden, but now DH and DD are working from home a lot more and wander in and out, I have had to get out of the habit, they are not amused if I lock them out! Front door is locked automatically when closed, but double locked at night.

Last person to bed always checks here, but once it starts getting to the evening most of the doors get locked so last one is just a check.

My keys are used to look the door at night as DH's are in his work trousers ready for his early start the next day. The door will stay unlocked until I know everyone is home (we have teenagers) then I will lock it before getting ready for bed and DH will check it last thing at nigh before he goes to bed (we have teenagers who smoke so sometimes forget to lock it again).

Then there's the sneak thief that robs your bedrooms when you are sitting in the garden or you're all sitting in the living room . Most thieves are opportunist .

Lock the door behind you when you come in, problem solved. Do people actually go about checking at night?

Last one to bed checks everything. Back door checked when the dog goes to bed and you have to walk past the front door to get upstairs so last one checks it's locked and the chain is on.

Yes, especially when living with kids as they don't always remember.

Of course people check doors and windows are shut and locked each night it's pretty normal behaviour which takes seconds and could prevent those inside facing a very distressing situation.

Get a South African husband... he'll never forget to check.

If someone breaks into your house it's unlikely your insurance will pay out. Just something worth bearing in mind.

We have two back doors. They're always locked when they're closed. It makes life easier.

That said, these days I do check as part of my Goodnight House routing (turning off heating, lights, locking doors etc) as we've been away for long weekends before and the back door's been unlocked 😆

Yes, of course! My parents forgot to check one night and unfortunately an opportunist tried the door, got in and burgled them while they slept.