DH and his sandwiches - I'm gonna go postal

[mynamechange94]

Ever since lockdown started and DH has mostly been working from home, he has a sandwich for lunch with little cubes of cheese and cold meats etc. Every day, pretty much, he has the same sandwich.

And every single god damn fucking day he leaves the chopping board, bread knife and butter knife on the kitchen counter.

I've asked. I've pleaded. I've threatened a star chart. Nothing has worked.

AIBU to lose my shit soon if he can't just put the knives and chopping board in the washing up before he eats?

I'm obviously not perfect, and I'm well aware that I have wildly irritating habits too, but I just want him to put the stuff in the washing up pile. Is that really too much to ask? AIBU?

Was he 3 foot tall, furry, and wore a duffel coat? I think I know him.

The specific items mentioned in the OP - a knife and chopping board - would never be left in the sink on my watch. A sharp knife needs to be handled with care to avoid (i) damaging/blunting the blade and (ii) cutting yourself. Leaving it in the sink jumbled up with other stuff and potentially hidden in soapy or murky water seems like asking for trouble. And our chopping boards are wooden and should never be left soaking in water, so they need to stay out of the sink until it's time to clean them.

I generally put things in the dishwasher when I've used them. If they need to be washed in the sink, then ideally I wash them straight away. But if there isn't enough washing up to be worth running the hot water, or if I'm in a big rush (e.g., I'm working from home with a scheduled meeting) then I won't put things in the sink. They'd be in the way more there - we have lots of worktop but only one sink. Cluttering it with dirty dishes would mean the sink couldn't be used for anything else, like filling the kettle, washing vegetables or draining pasta. So, things will be piled by the sink.

One thing I wouldn't do would be to leave things all over the kitchen, though!

Just leave them sitting dirty ready for tomorrow's lunch.

Don't be the cleaning fairy for a grown up man

You need to play chopping board chicken and make sure you don’t tap out first

I have a similar DH problem - there is a bit of countertop where the bread bin, toaster and kettle live and it is the obvious place to make sandwiches, cups of tea etc. DH, making himself a sandwich leaves everything out on this space - bread, butter, cheese, spreads and knives. If I go out to make tea, I have to move everything to have space to put the clean mugs down. There's nothing much to wash these days, but in the past he would eat his breakfast on this space so there would be dishes to deal with.

what on earth is threatening a star chart & how do I do it?

My DH leaves his coffee mug and the dirty teaspoon by the kettle EVERY SINGLE DAY instead of putting them in the dishwasher. Drives me nuts, but no amount of asking makes any difference. I feel your pain.

As others have stated, don't tidy it - leave it there - til tomorrow, the longer the better!

And when he goes to make his sandwich -the stuff is still there, sweaty cheese, stale bread, dried flaky meat, when he asks why didn't you move it.....

I'm not your mother
I'm not your maid

Or Bin it all! everytime! Oh i thought you'd finished with it as you'd not put it away....

Just leave it there till he puts it away even if this is lunchtime the next day, he might get the message then.

@Wheresthescissors wouldn't it be lovely to have this as a 'problem' in life? Imagine having real problems

This is my post-pandemic coping strategy. After around 24 hours of stuff lying around, l dump it in my husbands office. Needless to say it’s total squalor. I close the door on it. I don’t see why l need to deal with everyone’s mess

I’d throw them in the bin or put them in his part of the bed.

Being treated as the help by your partner is a real problem

Please don’t take a large bread knife out in public!

This reminds me so much of my father. My mother used to say you could walk round the house and know exactly where he'd been and what he'd done all day, due to all the little messes he left. They're still married.

Every time this thread title comes up in active it makes me want a sandwich. It’s really unreasonable just that it exists and I don’t have one of these tasty sandwiches your husband makes everyday.

I’m sorry but if he knows it upsets her, why can’t he just tidy up his stuff once in a while. You shouldn’t have to accept selfish behaviour just because someone might die and you’ll miss them! It should be a partnership.

It's never about the bread board. It's not like it's a tsumani of mess all of over the home. It's a bread board that takes 2min to clear away into the dishwasher.

Are you both home and annoying each other? Are you jealous he's home and you have to go out to work?

Get over the bread board.
But work out if you compromise over the bread board, what do you want in return to be happier?
He starts taking the kids out for an hour every week?
He puts the bins out every week?
He does bath times or reading a story?

What is the one simple thing he could take over every week that is not the bread board.

But you either have very serious problems in your relationship (control or lack of respect) or you don't have any real problems (boredom) if you're having a melt down over a bread board.

Before he eats? That’s unreasonable. Afterwards - that’s reasonable.

😆

Get him a star chart. And he gets a treat if he manages a certain number of stars. Or get one with happy and sad faces. Or traffic lights with a picture of his face 😂

👍🤣🤣🤣

My wife is like this. If she gets anything out to use, it gets left on the worktop and it can take her hours to put it away. We’ve had arguments about it, I’ve tried to be nice and accept it, but when there are dirty plates, apple cores, buttery knives and condiment bottles left out for hours it tends to annoy.

Ridiculous.

We all have annoying habits so all depends on your situation. My dh wfh most of the time and I go out to work and yes there are things left out, housework to do and yes I do expect him to clear and clean up after himself by the time I get home. However if it's a bit of a mess, we will get stuck in on the evening, share tasks for dc and I prepare myself for work next day as I have to dress appropriately which involves washing and ironing, school uniforms etc.

Are you a sahm OP? If so, the brunt of daily housework I guess is left for you but there really is some courtesy for dh to at least bring down the plates or just put the extras on top of his sarnie and not a chopping board?

Pulled it off the wall? On purpose? Because he didn’t want to use it?