DH and his sandwiches - I'm gonna go postal

[mynamechange94]

Ever since lockdown started and DH has mostly been working from home, he has a sandwich for lunch with little cubes of cheese and cold meats etc. Every day, pretty much, he has the same sandwich.

And every single god damn fucking day he leaves the chopping board, bread knife and butter knife on the kitchen counter.

I've asked. I've pleaded. I've threatened a star chart. Nothing has worked.

AIBU to lose my shit soon if he can't just put the knives and chopping board in the washing up before he eats?

I'm obviously not perfect, and I'm well aware that I have wildly irritating habits too, but I just want him to put the stuff in the washing up pile. Is that really too much to ask? AIBU?

Stacked next to the sink leaving the the rest of the surfaces clear.

Same. Literally could not care less about this 😄 seems we’re in the minority.

Why do you need the rest of the surfaces clear though? Aesthetics? It’s not very aesthetically pleasing if you have a big pile of washing up in the background.

My DH does something similar but with his favourite glass left by the sink.
I’ve started chucking the remains down the sink and turning it upside down on the draining board. It might not have had a wash since Christmas but it no longer annoys the hell out of me.

Learn to shrug.

Haven't had cheese in cubes for years. Off to cut some up. I like cheese.

My husband and I used to work opposite where I would follow him. So he would do early turn , I would take over from him for late turn ,and he would then come home. I would leave the kitchen normally clean and tidy , and would return at past midnight to find the dinner stuff all on the side , despite having a perfectly serviceable dishwasher . I mentioned it , he improved , and then slid back. I mentioned it again, he improved , then slid back . So the next time in a fit of pique , I left it all on the side , then piled every last clean cup, saucer , bowl , plate , pan and item of cutlery into the boot of my car, and took it with me to work , where it remained until I came home. Not happened since .

@Yourethebeerthief for the absolute craic and because I've been asking him for about 7 years and that's 7 years too many

So are you just complaining or are you going to do something about t given all the suggestions you have had.

I’d probably end up throwing them down the bin chute tbh 😂

Whenever my husband has jam or Nutella he leaves the jar on the counter with the used knife balanced on top. I used to clear it up, muttering angrily, for months before I asked him what he was playing at. Apparently it’s in case he wants to go back for seconds. And yet he never does.

I refuse to tidy it up now.

That is 100% the right attitude imo. Find a way to make it not your problem and the problem goes away.

I would just leave it there until he clears it up himself.

Op
you did not say if you worked. If you don't work, why not do his meal and ensure the kitchen is left to your liking? I do understand as when I dry the sink, my oh leave a cup of tea/coffe, plate in sink, winds me up as the dishwasher is there

I have the same with the peanut butter knife. Drives me insane.

I put (passive aggressive) notes on the kitchen cabinets reminding hin like we did when my grandad had dementia (those notes weren't passive aggressive) but it didn't work.

I think he leaves it on purpose now.

yabu.

but in our house the chopping board has a permanent place on the counter, and the butter/bread knives live with the board and the butter dish.. we just give them a wipe before using them and then wash at the end of the day..

the only thing we get annoyed about is the crumbs, that takes 2 seconds to clean off.

That wouldn't bother me in the slightest. Feel I'm being a bit weird here, but my dh does things like that and I just clear it up if I feel like it or just leave it. We're both quite messy, I suppose!

if its something you use regularly in the kitchen, what's this obsession with things being put away out of sight?

It's a lived in home, not a show house.

My husband tried this with the frying pan after cooking his breakfast every morning, a couple of times hurling the frying pan in the garden soon sorted that one out.

He probably does. I definitely would if someone was leaving passive aggressive notes for me.

Does it not just get washed up with the dinner dishes later on in the evening? I can't remember the last time there wasn't a stray chopping board or a knife floating around the kitchen.

This sounds like a very trivial thing to get so worked up about.

if it’s trivial, it’s a very trivial thing to lazily NOT do because you know you wife will be along soon and you think it’s her job. If it’s not a big deal, why not do it?

My ex used to make marmalade on toast for breakfast and leave the jar out, lid off and the knife on the worktop so that not only did stuff need putting away, but the worktop got marmalade on it and needed cleaning too.

Oddly enough he doesn’t do this in his own house that he now lives in alone. He did it because he saw it as my job, even if he would never have admitted that. If I nagged I was a nagging cow so he wouldn’t do it. If I didn’t nag he never, ever tidied it up so it would sit there forever. Option 3 was to pick up after him like a good wee wifey.

oh and there was option 4, LTB! There was of course more to it than that but I really hated the way I had no other possible choice that didn’t either make me a controlling harridan, a servant or have to live in a mess.

Oh good heavens, my DH does the same after making sandwiches, leaves the board and the knife and crumbs everywhere. I choose my battles though as there's a lot he could pick on me for if I started!

I think the point here is not that @mynamechange94 's DH leaves his messy lunch stuff lying about sometimes, it's that he's done it just about every day FOR FOUR YEARS.

FOUR YEARS!

And despite his wife repeatedly asking him to just be tidy, not a big ask, he refuses to acknowledge her.

I bloody well hear you OP. I really do.

I said it this morning (hadn't read this thread at that stage) in a meeting, it must be on the up again! I don't know where I dredged it from.

I've threatened a star chart.

Oh please do this