DH and his sandwiches - I'm gonna go postal

[mynamechange94]

Ever since lockdown started and DH has mostly been working from home, he has a sandwich for lunch with little cubes of cheese and cold meats etc. Every day, pretty much, he has the same sandwich.

And every single god damn fucking day he leaves the chopping board, bread knife and butter knife on the kitchen counter.

I've asked. I've pleaded. I've threatened a star chart. Nothing has worked.

AIBU to lose my shit soon if he can't just put the knives and chopping board in the washing up before he eats?

I'm obviously not perfect, and I'm well aware that I have wildly irritating habits too, but I just want him to put the stuff in the washing up pile. Is that really too much to ask? AIBU?

I do this!

Luckily DH is just as slovenly as me so it's not an issue in our house.

Don't put anything in my sink unless you are going to wash it up immediately!!

Rancid items left in cold water, or stuff put in the sink so you just have to take again to fill the sink...

... Aaasrgh

Thank fuck I'm single 🤣

So yes, leave it on the side!

I thought it must have been an autocorrect for... I don't know... Ballistic?!

This is a really good idea. Leave it a mess before you go to work. He won’t like it. If he uses the site don’t clean it up after him. He will ask what’s wrong eventually.

💯💯💯

Assuming you don’t have a dishwasher, and you leave all the washing up until the evening, would everything including chopping board actually fit in the sink, considering breakfast stuff as well?

Sounds to me you need to make a new deal that someone does some washing up at lunchtime.

Drives me absolutely nuts when people do that..

If you're making cold food - its not really a bother to clean up to some degree before you eat.

If you're making hot food - clean as you go, leaving as little as possible to do when you've finished eating.

If someone else may need to use the facilities, then don't leave it filthy for bloody hours til you fancy cleaning it or even worse, bank on someone else cleaning it out of necessity!

Still trying to get DP to play ball here - he can't leave stuff in the sink or put much on the side - we have no drainer and if the sinks full, I can't empty it and so can't use the sink to rinse/drain/wash hands etc! He knows this... aaaaaaaand still rams it full of pots.

It is NEXT TO the fucking dishwasher, that I bought so that we would not have this problem.

If only I could dig a hole... he'd be under the patio. If the kitchen IS left clean, I can prep my own food easily, and clean up after myself. If it's not, I can't ... you'd think the amount of time he spends cooking as a result would cause some sort of enlightenment... not so far!

AIBU to lose my shit soon if he can't just put the knives and chopping board in the washing up before he eats?

Before he eats is unreasonable. He can eat and then come back to clear up afterwards. But he should clear it up before you/ he need the space to do any more meal prep.

@Minimili you've cracked me up 😂

My dh used to do the same with teaspoons. I found lots of inventive ways to get the message across that leaving them everywhere was annoying. Teaspoon sandwiches, teaspoons in his pockets, teaspoons in his bag, folders, pants! He puts them in the sink or dishwasher now.

I have the same issue with the tea towel...it's used by dh I stead of the oven gloves to remove trays from the oven...ok with that...it's just every time it's used it's left loose on the side not hanged up on the oven door...every time...you think after 16 years he known...saying that he amazing at cleaning and tidying away it's just the tea towel!!!

But why? I do exactly the same thing with my socks. My husband never does anything to shame me about it.

If only there were a middle ground between husbands dying, and husbands leaving crap around the house!

I’m team put everything in the sink: but we have a massive double one for this purpose. Everything goes in one sink during the day so the kitchen looks and feels tidy – MH boost! – then the other sink gets filled with clean water to wash and the stuff transferred in, easy. The now empty sink becomes the home for the drying rack so no visible pile of dishes. It’s a perfect system whose only flaw is… DH. He’s another “what does it matter if a chopping board and knife and bits of grated cheese and a cut-off bit of cheese packet and a grater and the scissors are left out all day?” It matters to me! It’s horrible going to make a cup of tea or start prepping dinner in a student hovel! Just take 30 seconds to clear your mess!

dh leaves the knife out he uses for pate, yuck
and this morning i noticed pate on the actual cheese!

It’s really not worth fighting over and moaning at him - sure you do things to piss him off

The chopping board must be enormous if it renders the kitchen unusable

Meh let it go

Please do him a star chart

He’s an adult entitled to make his own decisions about when he cleans up, if you act like his mother then you’re not in a relationship.

I'm still struggling to understand where you want him to put it if neither of you wash up until the evening. All i can imagine is a sink filled with dirty pots that then all have to be hoicked out again to fill the sink with hot water. Grim - just wash up as you go (after you've eaten) and none of this would be a problem.

If you don't do the washing up until the evening, then I'd leave it on the side until he moves it.

Put it on his desk, Everytime.

Exactly. Why should one person have to clear the others stuff before using the shared kitchen. My DH does this too when he’s WFH and I find it disrespectful. If it was a shared kitchen in an office he would be a very unpopular colleague very quickly.

I like the idea of putting it all on his desk. It takes literally seconds to shove stuff by the sink or in the dishwasher and wipe away crumbs etc. like 30 seconds.

To be fair, we always leave the washing up until the evening and then one of us does it.

You didn't say this in your OP, did you?

Does this mean that all of the dishes/utensils used for making food are dealt with in the evening? Including any of yours? In which case I don't understand the fuss. It's not being left to you, it's a chore that either one of you does.

You've riled up the natives though nicely but it's a bit dim.