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Original poster

To ask my parents for financial help

589 replies

concernedchild · 20/03/2024 08:47

I'm 24, I live at home (I know this will attract a lot of criticism but I cannot afford to move out).

I earn £1300 a month after tax etc.

After saving for professional exams (I have to pay for them, I get no help from work) I'm left with £650 per month. Of this I have to pay for uni, all my own expenses and travel to work, as well as other savings.

I'm left with about £75 at the end of each month. From this £75 I contribute what I can to the house but it's not a lot. I feel like a failure. If my friends ask to meet up I have to say no because I can't afford it.

Travel alone is £200 per month. I can't make it any cheaper. Uni is £100 per month. My expenses aren't extravagant - I'm paying for my uni course, my phone, Spotify etc., I'm not spending hundreds on my nails or getting sun beds or anything like that.

I want to approach my parents and ask for some help with the exams but I feel like a total failure for even having to ask. The plan when I moved in after uni was for me to save up and move out, but I had to move company and took a pay cut. I can't relocate my job (I'm on a training contract and I'm unlikely to get another one).

I feel like I'm sinking. I'm working for basically nothing, I can't afford to grab a coffee on my lunch break or even go out at the weekends. I'm trying my hardest to get by but it's having such an effect on me mentally that I feel like giving up and quitting my job all together to find something in a supermarket that's better paid.

Am I being unreasonable to ask them for help? I don't expect them to say yes, I'm expecting them to say no, but I feel like I'm at my wits end. I don't see a point in anything because I feel like I'm wasting my time working and not getting anywhere financially, I feel like I'm behind my peers and I just can't do it anymore

OP posts:
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Peekaboobo · 20/03/2024 08:51

YANBU to ask for financial help but if it would make youu feel like a failure then try to get that money for the exams by other means so that way you won't feel bad.

TigBitss · 20/03/2024 08:52

It's £7800 a year for your exams?

Whaleandsnail6 · 20/03/2024 08:52

How long do you have left of uni and exams?

I think that if you already think your parents will say no, would it potentially make for an uncomfortable living situation in asking?

Original poster
concernedchild · 20/03/2024 08:52

Peekaboobo · 20/03/2024 08:51

YANBU to ask for financial help but if it would make youu feel like a failure then try to get that money for the exams by other means so that way you won't feel bad.

I don't have any other means. I've considered getting another job in my free time, but it would mean no studying (so I'd be paying for exams that I would fail because I have no time to study for them) and it's against my terms of employment. I've tried selling as much as I can on vinted etc., but it's not getting me very far

OP posts:
GreatGateauxsby · 20/03/2024 08:53

Your maths doesn't add up.

Uni fees come from pre tax salary

So you have £1300 take home.

Your additional qualifications are £650 every month? For how long?
are you actually paying monthly?
and how will it improve your earning potential?

Whaleandsnail6 · 20/03/2024 08:53

Also, you say you are putting money into other savings? Could you hold off on that until your exams are done?

Original poster
concernedchild · 20/03/2024 08:54

TigBitss · 20/03/2024 08:52

It's £7800 a year for your exams?

They're about £5000 - but I keep having unexpected expenses. My laptop broke, which I need for uni, I'll have to pay for hotels etc (the second set of exams are only in london, Cardiff, Birmingham and Manchester, and there's no guarantee that my first set of exams will be local because the system is messed up) so in total I'll need about that amount for travel to the exams, being in the city for the exams etc., but I don't want to ask my parents for the full amount

OP posts:
Original poster
concernedchild · 20/03/2024 08:54

GreatGateauxsby · 20/03/2024 08:53

Your maths doesn't add up.

Uni fees come from pre tax salary

So you have £1300 take home.

Your additional qualifications are £650 every month? For how long?
are you actually paying monthly?
and how will it improve your earning potential?

I'll qualify as a solicitor

OP posts:
Original poster
concernedchild · 20/03/2024 08:55

Whaleandsnail6 · 20/03/2024 08:52

How long do you have left of uni and exams?

I think that if you already think your parents will say no, would it potentially make for an uncomfortable living situation in asking?

Uni is another 18 months I think? But my exams aren't that long

OP posts:
Nevermind31 · 20/03/2024 08:55

How much longer is your course/ exams/ training contract?

SapphOhNo · 20/03/2024 08:55

YANBU to ask for money but i'd expect them to want to know about your finances.

If you'll quality as a solicitor, can you not ask for the money from them as an interest free loan that you'll pay back once you qualify?

How are they financially?

Floopani · 20/03/2024 08:57

I have young adult children and I would want them to tell me if they were struggling and if I could, I would help. It's obvious you're trying to better yourself and not spending all your money on fripperies. However, if you are putting money in savings at the same time, I would expect that to stop, you can't afford to save.

Nevermind31 · 20/03/2024 08:57

Could you take out a loan for a longer period, one that means your repayments are less every month? 0% credit card (managed sensibly)?
this is for a limited period of time and once qualified, you should earn a decent amount

Dogdilemma2000 · 20/03/2024 08:58

Why on earth do you consider yourself a failure when you’re studying for a lucrative career?

Take the long term view. You’re broke now - most students are. But you’ll be earning very good money when you’re qualified.

Can you get a student bank account with overdraft? Ask your parents if you can borrow some cash to help you focus on your exams. If you were my kid I’d do what I could to help you focus on your education, and I’m by no means well off.

Billybagpuss · 20/03/2024 08:58

I knew it was law from your first post.

you can but ask, I helped my dd out during this period. If they say no start looking around for professional development loans. You should be able to get a loan to cover the uni costs the payments of which will be easier than what you’re doing at the moment and some living help which will be much easier to pay back once you’ve qualified

Peekaboobo · 20/03/2024 08:58

concernedchild · 20/03/2024 08:52

I don't have any other means. I've considered getting another job in my free time, but it would mean no studying (so I'd be paying for exams that I would fail because I have no time to study for them) and it's against my terms of employment. I've tried selling as much as I can on vinted etc., but it's not getting me very far

Show quote history

Apologies I thought you had a choice.

Well no choice then you're gonna have to ask and swallow your pride. I would.

MamaWillYouBuyMeAWillYouBuyMeABanana · 20/03/2024 08:59

I would definitely look into getting a loan for the exams, pay it back over 5 years maybe, that's a huge chunk of money freed up per month, and you could pay it back earlier.

frustratinglyso · 20/03/2024 09:02

OP, I think you have another thread where you're talking about doing absolutely everything for your parents at home, including washing, cleaning and cooking.

If it's the same story (and this is true) then no, YANB. If you weren't there they'd need to buy in help from a cleaner, washing service etc. So it's only fair they help you out financially while you are doing so much for them. If they are entitled to Attendance Allowance, this is what it's for - to get help to do everyday tasks.

user1567879667589 · 20/03/2024 09:02

I want my kids to be able to ask us for help however old they are. I’m sure they don't want to see you struggling OP.

Flyingandphone · 20/03/2024 09:02

I would ask your parents if they can afford it they will help you . It’s a sad reality that professional trainees do so much work for very little financial gain but it will pay off in the long run so hold firm .

if your parents cannot help out do as others suggested and get a loan . Sounds like you only have another year of fees . Best of luck

NoMoreEventsToday · 20/03/2024 09:02

, as well as other savings.

What are you saving each month?
You know this is short term, so you will have to make sacrifices

OdeToBarney · 20/03/2024 09:03

Ask them OP. The SQE is stressful enough and it sounds like this situation is making you absolutely miserable. I'd definitely help my DD if I could. Best of luck with your exams.

Myotheripodisayoto · 20/03/2024 09:03

Im confused about your sums.

If its a first degree you should be able to access student finance.

If its the law school part after the degree, you are supposed to get a training contract and the firm pay the law school costs.

If no one was willing to give you a training contract, you've taken a huge risk paying the fees without the employment. If you've agreed to a training contract without them funding your LPC you are a fool, easily parted from your money.

There are too many law students around, the good ones who will survive, are not paying for their LPC themselves.

Fourfurrymonsters · 20/03/2024 09:03

OP, I have a daughter your age and I would absolutely help you out if you were struggling (and I have). As someone else said, why not ask your parents for a loan if you don’t feel comfortable to ask outright for money? It’s not like you’re peeing money away and it will come good in the end so look at it as an investment in your future?

pinkdelight · 20/03/2024 09:04

Do your parents have £5k to lend you? If so, you're better asking them than getting a bank loan. It's not like you're pissing it up the wall, presumably they're supportive of your studies and career plan and know you're on a low income for now, so why wouldn't they help you if they're able to? I'd just set it out very clearly so they can see where your money is going and the genuine need, as they may think you're doing fine living there and able to save.