To ask my parents for financial help

[concernedchild]

I'm 24, I live at home (I know this will attract a lot of criticism but I cannot afford to move out).

I earn £1300 a month after tax etc.

After saving for professional exams (I have to pay for them, I get no help from work) I'm left with £650 per month. Of this I have to pay for uni, all my own expenses and travel to work, as well as other savings.

I'm left with about £75 at the end of each month. From this £75 I contribute what I can to the house but it's not a lot. I feel like a failure. If my friends ask to meet up I have to say no because I can't afford it.

Travel alone is £200 per month. I can't make it any cheaper. Uni is £100 per month. My expenses aren't extravagant - I'm paying for my uni course, my phone, Spotify etc., I'm not spending hundreds on my nails or getting sun beds or anything like that.

I want to approach my parents and ask for some help with the exams but I feel like a total failure for even having to ask. The plan when I moved in after uni was for me to save up and move out, but I had to move company and took a pay cut. I can't relocate my job (I'm on a training contract and I'm unlikely to get another one).

I feel like I'm sinking. I'm working for basically nothing, I can't afford to grab a coffee on my lunch break or even go out at the weekends. I'm trying my hardest to get by but it's having such an effect on me mentally that I feel like giving up and quitting my job all together to find something in a supermarket that's better paid.

Am I being unreasonable to ask them for help? I don't expect them to say yes, I'm expecting them to say no, but I feel like I'm at my wits end. I don't see a point in anything because I feel like I'm wasting my time working and not getting anywhere financially, I feel like I'm behind my peers and I just can't do it anymore

I am so glad that your parents are helping you. Most decent parents would help their child in this situation. And you sound like a very hard working lovely women. I am so glad you don't need to worry anymore. Good luck with your exams, the hard work will be worth it soon.

You do what you need to do stay with your family everyone is struggling at moment do what's best don't feel like a failure you are not things will get better ✨️

I must be missing something ! If any of my children were studying and struggling financially on a TC, I'd help them out if I could. Hopefully, they'll be earning very very well after qualifying. Isn't it more important to provide as much help now so that they succeed in their chosen career ? Glad your father was supportive OP. Not sure why you was afraid to ask a question. They could only say no. 😃Don't look at your friends. I'm sure you'll be earning way more than them in a few years. All the best

What concerns me a bit OP is your username. Why call yourself "Concernedchild" ? Ffs, you're 24 years old, you're an adult! You're lucky to be able to live at home rent free whilst you are doing your exams, you're just going to have to tighten the belt and budget better. You are hardly going to be destitute or starving and you're lucky enough not to have to worry about household bills and the terrible cost of living. There are a lot of people who are doing Uni that are lot worse off than you.

What's unreasonable is that you even have to ask! They see how hard you're trying and they should be helping you out while you're studying and working end of.

Good on you, OP.

You sound as though you have your head screwed on and I hope are very proud of you.

Ignore some of the wicked responses you've had.

Wishing you all the best and DON'T cancel the concert!

Op, I hope my dd is as sensible as you. If she came to me with a budget and asked for help with her education, I would happily help her.

there are plenty of feckless young adults sponging off their parents. That is entirely different than a young adult who is working hard on establishing a career and just trying to make ends meet.

Dont you worry about being at home at 24 - my eldest of 4 is 35 and has had to move back home - it doesnt bother me or his Dad it bothers him more I think but its just not going to happen with the enormous rental prices for sometime.
I am always keen to help my 4 if they need it and if I can. If I cant help then I can always lend ideas and support so ask Mum and Dad and give them the opportunity
Good luck and congratulations on all your hard work xx

Just wanted to come back and say thank you to everyone who gave me supportive messages. A lot of it was in my head - my parents have commented multiple times that they're surprised I even felt like I needed to ask! I feel a lot, lot better mentally about everything because I feel like a huge burden has been taken off me. I'm making a study plan and making sure I have a balance of time off and time to relax. Thank you everyone 🫶🏻

I am a parent and if you were my child I would help you as much as I could, speak to them and explain and I'm sure they will help you. Good luck with your exams!

I’m so glad you did the sensible thing and asked your parents for help, I’m Mum to two qualified professional people and, I think, like nearly all parents, I would have been really upset if they didn’t feel they could ask for help, it’s called Family! Every good wish for your exams and hope you end up earning an absolute fortune 💐

if they were surprised you’d even asked

imagine how they’d feel if they knew you’d started a threads on mumsnet, posted dozens of times, and even mentioned their net worth

pretty upset i imagine

Definitely worth mentioning 2 months after the thread was written 👍

It's not particularly revelatory - if they are old and have a house in the SE anyone in two seconds of a google search can find out house values.

The SQE results are out so I hope the poster passed. (I paid for some of my children to do post graduate law exams and course and the youngest 2 qualified this year). The poster is correct that a lot of trainee lawyers are on the minimum wage and their firms do not pay the cost of courses.