Please be honest - would you find this rude?

[Mzrmp]

This might sound very petty but it's annoyed me.... I am on a WhatsApp group with 5 friends. All in our late 40s now, all with teens and we go back to when we met at uni at 18.

On the chat, we will occasionally post something about the kids with a photo, eg. "here's Lucy - just passed her driving test," or whatever. Not all the time, the group isn't that active, but it happens. I will always reply to something like that - for me, it's fun to see the kids being successful in their various ways or having a great time etc.

So, the other day, I put a 3 second video of my son doing something which is quite a big deal. They all watched it within a few minutes. Two of them commented, which was nice, but the other three (two of which I'd describe as my best friends) have just left it on 'read.'

I realise we're not 14, but their not commenting makes me feel as if they think I'm showing off or something like that. I never post on Instagram or anything like that, but I thought it would be ok to share this with my friends of almost 30 years.

AIBU to think this is churlish and to leave them on 'read' in future? I know it's a small thing in the scheme of things, but still, I'm annoyed.

If I'm on a group chat and two people have already commented on something I'm unlikely to as well ,just for the sake of it,unless there's something specific I feel I want to say. It just seems overkill to me.

I sometimes look at something when I am out or at work, and forget to comment later. It's not necessarily the case that they have ignored you

Maybe the video was in a format they couldn’t see? Did it need the volume on to appreciate the content?
Personally I wouldn’t worry about it, not everyone follows the same SM etiquette.

I do this, they are likely just busy.

Monitoring this kind of thing is the best way to make both yourself and everybody else miserable.

It's really not important. Your friendships have been around a long time. They don't depend on getting positive reinforcement for every single thing.

Yes its childish if you do that on purpose..people have a life and dont always have time or want to respond.

Spending time thinking about how to get back at people who aren't behaving exactly how you want them to, is weird and controlling.

This is my take too - if other people in the chat have already covered the 'well done X' then I feel a bit silly just adding the same thing just for the sake if it!

I totally understand how you feel. I always overthink these kind of things too. I think that's what it is...overthinking. In reality you have no idea what they were doing when they looked at the message, they may have been multi tasking and just forgot to reply. Because I know how it makes me feel, I am fastidious about replying to everyone INSTANTLY. It's not necessarily a good thing!

I think its a bit childish, people have other things going on. If they’re your friends, I think its safe to assume they are happy for you and your family/ son’s achievements etc and were busy on this occasion but will comment positively when they can.

Sounds pretty normal for most of the groups I’m in. Unless people are posting really big news i.e. engagement, pregnancy, emigrating, or something actively interesting etc I think it’s fairly normal for some members to refrain from parroting the same “Looks good!” or whatever to a photo or statement.

I have often opened a group chat, realised its either a chain of messages or a video (or worst of all a bloody voice note) and not been able to actually take notice of it in that moment like I could have a simple text. I leave them on read and quite often forget about it until the next thing pops up on there.

Sounds like you were showing off.

If 2 people have said "wow, well done" it's a bit cringey for the rest to follow suit. Turns you into cheerleaders

Maybe they were too busy to respond/are not that impressed/don’t think it warrants responding/don’t get the significance of the video sans words/will congratulate him when you meet?

No need to stop responding if that’s the kind of person you are, just wait for a conversation, if child related things are discussed.

Sorry, I should have clarified - I'm not the best on WhatsApp and what I did for some reason this time was just typed their names in (thinking that would bring up the group), but it actually got sent to all 5 individually. So, it wasn't as if people didn't respond because others had. I could understand that. They just didn't respond! I could understand if they had hectic jobs, of course. But two of them don't work at all and I couod see they watched it straight away because the two ticks turned blue.

AIBU to think this is churlish and to leave them on 'read' in future? I know it's a small thing in the scheme of things, but still, I'm annoyed.

You should definitely do this.

Definitely not, no.
If you go looking for issues, you'll always find them. 30 years and you're all still in touch and on friendly terms, best to keep it that way.

Videos and photos of the significant achievements of offspring are the three line whip of the old friends WhatsApp group! Of course they should have acknowledged. Even an emoji would suffice.

They're busy, they have lives.

Move on.

I’m in a group of 7 friends and I’d always comment on something like that, and my friends would do the same. We post because we are proud am I’m here for that.

Agree, although it’s easy to just ‘react’ with a thumbs up or heart which is what I would do to something like this if others have already commented with the same as what I would have said, it feels rude to totally ignore.

It's nonsense like this that made me delete Facebook. I discovered that I had very little interest in other people's children, except for the ones that I am properly close to, in which case I would probably not need to hear their news on FB. Shared jokes or silly news was fine, but the boasty posts - always from the same people - just wound me up.

I would comment. Takes seconds.

Maybe they didn’t think it was meant for them if it was sent individually outside of a group. Tbh I think you need to get a grip - some people responded, some didn’t. Unless there’s a pattern that those three don’t ever respond, let it go.

With videos I'm not sure if the 2 blue ticks mean the video has actually been viewed or just that the person has opened the page and seen it is there

I ofton don't watch videos straight away, especially if I'm not alone as don't want to piss off other people with the audio. Sometimes I then forget to watch it it, by the time I realise the moment has passed so I probably wouldn't respond unless it was something very specific that clearly required a response.