Please be honest - would you find this rude?

[Mzrmp]

This might sound very petty but it's annoyed me.... I am on a WhatsApp group with 5 friends. All in our late 40s now, all with teens and we go back to when we met at uni at 18.

On the chat, we will occasionally post something about the kids with a photo, eg. "here's Lucy - just passed her driving test," or whatever. Not all the time, the group isn't that active, but it happens. I will always reply to something like that - for me, it's fun to see the kids being successful in their various ways or having a great time etc.

So, the other day, I put a 3 second video of my son doing something which is quite a big deal. They all watched it within a few minutes. Two of them commented, which was nice, but the other three (two of which I'd describe as my best friends) have just left it on 'read.'

I realise we're not 14, but their not commenting makes me feel as if they think I'm showing off or something like that. I never post on Instagram or anything like that, but I thought it would be ok to share this with my friends of almost 30 years.

AIBU to think this is churlish and to leave them on 'read' in future? I know it's a small thing in the scheme of things, but still, I'm annoyed.

Jesus, there are some right arseholes on this thread. If you have no interest in your friends lives and that of their kids why the fuck are you bothering to be friends in the first place? So many on MN have a really fucked up idea of what it means to be a friend.

I’m the kind of person who always comments, but I don’t get hung up on whether people comment back. I’ve got friends who always comment back, and some who read it and forget. That doesn’t mean those who don’t comment care less about me, just that their life is super stressful and busy. Like you said, you’re not 14 and it really doesn’t matter. I know those friends would be on the next train down if I messaged them in an emergency and said I needed them. As would I, and have done. That’s how I work out if they are a good friend or not, not whether they reply to a comment I post on what’s app or not.

Not at all, I like to share my children’s achievements and like to see my friends children’s achievements (genuinely)

Yes that’s what there are so many posts of people saying they have zero or one friend. I have lots of friends. Long term (40yrs plus), new, work, hobbies, and why is that? Because I am a good friend, I am interested in my friends; I enjoy celebrating their achievements and that of their DC and partners and I always reply to their messages (and don’t get annoyed when they don’t).

Agree with this. Op they sound jealous. If I got a personal message from a friend, regardless of what I thought I would send a positive message because my friend is proud of her child and I want to support that.

Don't worry about it . Most likely it's not personal. Sometimes videos are hard to watch if you are busy. Don't think everything needs commented on by everyone.. it's fine I'm sure they meant to but didn't for whatever reason..Don't over think this.

For me, I feel as though I've watched these kids grow up. I even had my friends 3 girls live with us for a time when the friend had to go to US unexpectedly. I was a tutor to another friend's son for a whole. So I'm delighted when they do well in their GCSEs or go travelling to amazing places or win a sports tournament or whatever. It cheers me up to see young people doing well, whatever it is.

Yes

Sounds perfectly normal, what's not normal is you saying you'll leave them on read in future 🤷‍♀️🤔

Exactly this!

Just leave them on read a few times and don’t overthink it.

YABU to say "on 'read'" when it's actually "unread" i.e. they haven't read it yet....

That is not what "on read" means.

Oh, my kids always say to me "you can't leave people on read."

Now I see it's 'unread' 😂

I honestly couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve left my best friend on read and her me!

Oh my, this is all a bit drama llama isn’t it,

Yes it is drama llama

If you're not the best at WhatsApp, how are you at maintaining at contributing to the friendship group as a whole generally? If you're not great at comms generally it might be seen to be showy offy if you sent a random video.

I agree.

If 2 people had already commented I'd probably refrain from commenting and maybe just heart the video / photo instead. Otherwise it can feel overkill.

It is on read!

Unread = grey ticks, they haven't read the message yet.

On read = blue ticks but no reply, they've read but not responded. Of course, they doesn't mean they have time to reply there and then and certainly doesn't mean they've had a chance to watch a video.

Same, I don't particularly like being sent videos so don't always open them, find them intrusive. I prefer if someone just sent a message saying "DS was the lead role in a west end play" (or whatever), then if i'm interested i'd like to see a video, but don't like being sent videos out of the blue with no context - a lot of the time with no explanatory text so you don't even know what you're looking at !

I have a group of friends that I've grown up with since primary school , we are in our 30s now. Out of the group, I have 1 friend who never likes, or comments on anything that I share ( I don't share much but a birthday post of my child for example or some holiday photos.) It's become obvious to me as she does like and commnet on things that my other friends have posted, about similar things. I've no idea why, I've never once mentioned it as I feel like I'll sound ridiculous if it do, it could just be algorithms or something else I'll never know. It doesn't go unnoticed though , and I also wondered at one point if it something I'd done, but I don't care anymore.

It would annoy me too op.
All these busy people who don’t have time to reply; yet always have time to look at your message within 10 minutes of it being sent.
If you are so snowed under with work/children etc why are you looking at your phone?

Firstly well done to your DS you have every right to celebrate your DCs achievements and be proud. I always acknowledge when my friend post things about their DC - I love hearing that they are doing well.

Also the Toblerone incident - I'd be very pissed off about that (unless it was one of those six foot long ones you get at airports)

I even wondered if she had just taken the TOBLERONE out of the minibar at the hotel. It was so random.