Please be honest - would you find this rude?

[Mzrmp]

This might sound very petty but it's annoyed me.... I am on a WhatsApp group with 5 friends. All in our late 40s now, all with teens and we go back to when we met at uni at 18.

On the chat, we will occasionally post something about the kids with a photo, eg. "here's Lucy - just passed her driving test," or whatever. Not all the time, the group isn't that active, but it happens. I will always reply to something like that - for me, it's fun to see the kids being successful in their various ways or having a great time etc.

So, the other day, I put a 3 second video of my son doing something which is quite a big deal. They all watched it within a few minutes. Two of them commented, which was nice, but the other three (two of which I'd describe as my best friends) have just left it on 'read.'

I realise we're not 14, but their not commenting makes me feel as if they think I'm showing off or something like that. I never post on Instagram or anything like that, but I thought it would be ok to share this with my friends of almost 30 years.

AIBU to think this is churlish and to leave them on 'read' in future? I know it's a small thing in the scheme of things, but still, I'm annoyed.

You are being over the top about it. Yes it would have been nice for a comment but they probably have other things going on.

I used to make sure I text back my friends who are…touchy. Note that I am doing it for their sake. Because I knew it would emotionally affect them.

however as time goes by I do not always have the emotional bandwidth to reassure them like I used to. Does this mean I don’t care? No. And I would never take against anyone who didn’t reply to me, because what I would like is a relationship with mutual grace. But I know more likely they are going to stew and I used to placate them and now I just can’t. I can’t anymore

I would definitely overthink this…although I realise that says more about me than my friends!

Stop over thinking it, they probably snatched a few seconds to look at it but had to get on with other stuff.

Yes you sound like a 12 year old.

You're entitled to your disagreement. I disagree with your disagreement :)

It's not about being caring, simply about politeness. We don't have to care about someone else's children, no matter if they are our friends or not, and we can't fake the feeling of caring even if we wish to.

But we do have to fake polite interest on the subject, at least most of the time, if we wish to remain their friend and if we wish them to fake polite interest in our kids and achievements.

It's a social dance and everyone participates to some extent, some more than others and some better than others.

A heart is the equivalent of a polite smile. A comment usually means more. Either is acceptable in this instance.

However, in this situation and within this group no response at all is quite rude.