For not letting my son go on holiday abroad with his best friend and his family?

[TheAvidPlumRobin]

My son (turning 15 in the summer) and this boy have been best friends for almost a year now. I'm talking two peas in a pod best friends. They're in the same school, but the bestie is 2 years older. They hang out and chat every single day. In my opinion, they have a bit of a weird dynamic because my son sees / treats him like a mentor, and the best friend is the one who takes the lead; but that's beside the point.

The best friend is rich. He's going with his family to the Seychelles (2 weeks) for Easter. Surprisingly, he invited my son (who thought he was just joking at first). Either way, the boy's parents contacted me and we met up to talk. They basically told me that they'll pay for everything (accommodation, flights, food, activities, souvenirs, etc.), and they'd love to have my son come along with them. They said that I don't have to worry about safety and such because the boys are well behaved, and they're eagle-eyed. I said I need some time to think it though.

My husband thinks it's a great opportunity since we obviously couldn't afford such a trip, plus the family has a great reputation. I'm not so sure though. Firstly, I feel uncomfortable at the thought of my son becoming a charity case. Secondly, the Seychelles is very far away, and my son has never travelled that far before. My son is very upset with the no answer, and my husband also believes I'm being unreasonable and weird about this.

I still have some time to change my mind though. I do have some doubts about my decision honestly.

Not in the op as far as I could see, it was just a no for weak or no reasons.

When I was in my late teens, my best friend (we grew up together, she was and still is like my sister) invited me to join her family on a 2week holiday to Greece, after her dad dropped out last minute. It cost me £30 for the name change on the ticket, and to this day (20-something years later) it remains one of my all-time favourite holidays. I was able to do all kinds of things that I wouldn't normally have been able to, because her grandad paid for the trip for all of us (me, friend, her two younger brothers and her mum) as a celebration of his late wife ❤️ it was incredibly generous, and has never been used in any way to make me feel like a charity case, despite our very different backgrounds!

I would honestly say embrace the opportunity!! Life doesn't always put things like this in your path, and everyone faces struggles and difficulties from time to time - if someone is willing to treat and protect your son as they would their own, and your son wants to go, I think you should let him. I do sympathise with the fear of him being so far away from you, I can only imagine that as a parent (my baby is due next week, so I've got all this to come!). But if you trust that these are good people and your son is happy to go, I think it would be a terrible shame not to let him - and may lead to him feeling insecure about his 'standing' in relation to those around him as well. Take the win, let him enjoy the treat!

'When I was in my late teens, my best friend (we grew up together, she was and still is like my sister) invited me to join her family on a 2week holiday to Greece'

The ops son has known his 'best friend' less than a year. Can you really not see the difference?

Agree BetsyBobbin I have these concerns too...maybe the friend has suggested son to his parents so he can take advantage somehow, plus seyshelles is way too far away alone for a 15 year old for 2 weeks (if he was also 17 and power dynamic different maybe)...but then I have been a careers adviser & a safeguarding adviser and heard many scary stories over the years.

My 15 year old son is being taken away by his girlfriends parents this summer. 6 days in Edinburgh whilst Fringe is on. They’ve paid his hotels and flights. I’ve offered to cover it even though it’s a push, but they are really happy that their daughter will have a great friend to enjoy it all with. I need to pay for tickets for shoes and food so a wedge of spending money 🤣. I’m unlikely to be able to offer a return holiday as we tend to go away in a camper van so not much privacy to take someone else, but I don’t see his invite as charity

That reads quite aggressively, especially in light of the OPs follow up comments re the elder boys family etc. Apologies if I'm misreading though.

Yes I can see a difference, but the OP hasn't highlighted any particular concerns with the elder boy, even saying that he's already been such a positive influence on her son. If this weren't the case, if she were concerned that the elder boy would get the younger into trouble or something, I wouldn't have offered my positive experience and opinion. Have you never formed a close bond with someone over the course of a year?

Let him go! It doesn't matter if it's his first time going away that far, there will always be new things to experience. I think having your son along will make it more fun for the other boy. It's not charity--it's justice.