My ds dresses like he’s about to rob a shop on his escooter!

[PanadTe]

He DOESN’T own a scooter… just looks like he should

I posted this in teens without much response, so apologies for duplicate post.

When will he grow out of this?! AIBU to be a bit disappointed?

He’s 14, all clothes are JD brands mercier, hoodeich, zavetti. His recent purchase is a hip pack 🙄

I’m really not trying to be judgemental, esp to his face!… DH on the other hand just takes the piss, which I wish he wouldn’t do! But I know he’s trying to be someone he’s not… listening to travis scott and drill type shite music. We don’t live in a city or even a large town. No gangs round these parts

I hope it doesn’t stick!

You're probably right, he's just wearing a costume, but don't be so complacent about the gangs thing. The whole point of county lines is to bring the drugs (and the risk to the gang leaders) out of the cites and into nice rural places. They really are everywhere.

You’re his parents! You’re not trendy, and you’re not supposed to understand modern trends! It’s a generation gap by definition, leave him be! Be thankful he’s a nice lad and he talks to you.

I agree. It pays to be vigilant

We've got a whole bunch a teenage goths in my town, also skinny jeans seem to be a thing for lads, there's a few preppy looking types (sailing is big here but the rest are wearing the look you describe op. This is a relatively affluent area, but the clothing is still the JD look

The way he dresses is expressing and expiring his identity, we all did it and do it. Clothes alone aren’t a problem but others will judge

They're not expressing their identity though. If it wasn't 'fashion', not one of them would dress like that, especially the current trend for boys and young men carrying handbags or the girls/young women wearing beige leggings that make them look like they're naked.

Anyone dressing like that if it wasn't 'in' would be destroyed by their peers.

My 16 year old looks like this over the weekend.

During the week he wears a smart business suit to school with what I would call a "dad jumper" because my 78 year old dad wears them - wool with a half zip. I thought he was mad when he asked for it, but then school put up a photo of the sixth form common room and 95% of the boys were dressed like my dad, so that was nice.

It's necessarily about expressing their identity as an individual. It is about finding belonging with their peers as a generational group as distinct from within their family unit, and it's part of becoming an adult.

Haha I've got 2 of these too. Nike tech tracksuits and air force ones 🤣 if they don't look like roadmen, they're in their football kits shouting football chants. With their skin fades. I just laugh, I wore way worse. Massive flared jeans dragging in puddles and a tied on triangle piece of fabric showing my belly button piercing anyone?

Oh and I know they're not out there robbing b&m and harassing people at McDonald's. I'm fairly strict with them but I'm not gonna argue over a North face puffa jacket.

They all look the same. Big mopp of hair at the front. Frett not.

I'm not gonna argue over a North face puffa jacket.

At least they aren't risking a cold in their kidneys like my generation did by pretending we didn't need coats.

😂 nothing to add (other then perhaps start saving for an e-scooter for christmas)

But he sounds lovely.

This thread is full of middle class mums criticising how their sons dress. Look at yourself....you probably dress like most other middle class mums. All your sons are doing is dressing like boys their own age.

Oh god! Please tell me its under his hairline at least?

They're not expressing their identity though. If it wasn't 'fashion', not one of them would dress like that

thats like most people though....from middle class women in Boden dresses to business men in suits. We do not make fashion choices in a vacuum...it's within a social and cultural context.

Just let him at it, hopefully he will grow out of it.
My only concern would be that kids who dress like this possibly attract people who do think they are using drugs and then get exposed to them

I think it's all done tongue in cheek.

At least the girls aren't dressed like street walkers like we were back in the day, showing as much jail bait flesh as we could

If it's actually a naice middle class teenager uniform, the people who really are involved in nefarious activities will know not to go near them!

It's not tongue in cheek.

It's is sexist, racist and classist stereotyping.

We had our beer jackets to keep us warm!

Oh, the days of crashing in at 3am in a sexy little dress and no other layer in November. I used to make sure I wore colours to complement the very fetching shade of blue my skin would turn...

But I know he’s trying to be someone he’s not

No, he really isn't. He just likes a particular aesthetic and a particular type of music. I used to dress like a cross between a squat-dwelling Seattle heroin addict and a Victorian grave robber when I was a teenager, but I wasn't pretending to be either.

To be blunt about this, you assumed that because you don't live in 'a city or even a large town' he would dress in what you consider to be a nice middle-class teenage way and would listen to nice middle-class teenage indie music. Unfortunately for you, those styles just don't appeal to him - and why should they, really?

I think it's hard for most parents to see their kids not conforming to the vision parents have for their family, but it's totally normal for a teenager to find their own way in terms of style and music, so honestly, just let him get on with it. I do get that nobody wants to see their child dressed in clothes that they loathe, but ultimately, it's only clothes and he has a right to choose his own style.

@NonPlayerCharacter

If it's actually a naice middle class teenager uniform, the people who really are involved in nefarious activities will know not to go near them!

His mother doesn’t seem to think it is and thinks he looks like he should own an e-scooter….

Listening to misoginystic music should be a concern.

Yup my son is school prefect, and house captain. Volunteers at local club twice a week. His dress sense does not represent his personality

Dresses as you say like hes about to rob a bank. Hood up, cap and chunky silver chain (from temu) 🤣

Is that how bank robbers dress? 🙄

This thread is such nonsense...all the druggy types near me seem to be older white men who look like down and outs...not teens dressed in a tracksuit with a skin fade.