To be fuming at my mum over birthday present?

[SilverSeat]

DDs birthday on Wednesday. My mum asked me ages ago what she wanted and I said “well all she keeps going on about is this princess castle so I’m getting her that”. My mum said “oh can I get her that? I don’t know what else to get her”. I said “it’s expensive though, £80” my mum said “oh that’s fine!”.

now my mum has form for buying the complete opposite of what you’ve told her so I showed her a picture of it, the make, where to buy it etc - she said that’s fine. I said “ok if you’re definitely getting her that exact castle (it had to be that one as her cousin has it and DD is obsessed with it, as I explained) I’ll get her the electric car”.

i bought the car £80. My mum called yesterday and said she’d got the castle - great. She then added “it was a bargain! It was only £25!” My heart sank … I said “it can’t have been, where did you get it from??” And she told me the name of this shop. I asked her to send me a photo?” So she did …

it’s the complete opposite of what I showed her. It’s a grey medieval castle with soldiers and cannons etc. I said “I told you it was the pink princess castle!” And she said “Her dolls will fit in it though”

FFS

DD thinks she’s getting the princess castle and is so excited, now I have to go out and buy the bloody thing after already buying the car. My mum is “upset” that I’m replacing her present. She used to do this kind of shit to me when I was a kid and I’m not allowing DD to go through it. She cocked up one of her Christmas presents in the same manner. AIBU to be really fucking annoyed and AIBU to replace the present?

Id rather she didn’t buy her a present at all then at least I’d know what to buy!!

Why will she love that one more? Have you met a child?

Why did you tell her she was getting it?

When your mother can't be arsed to find a good present send her a link to one that's just average, not one your daughter really wants. Your mother doesn't need to know you're doing this.

Of course YANBU. You explained how important it was to DD to get the correct one and she said agreed to get it. Now you’re left footing another £80 to avoid your DD being disappointed.

How anyone can think YABU is beyond me.

Just remember this and don’t ask her to get anything important and specific in future.

Teaching moment for dd here that we don't always get what we want I guess.

Yep, I wouldn't be giving her anything off the birthday or Xmas list again. She can't be trusted to get what she's asked then she can figure out her own gifts in future. Suck it up this time and get your DD the right castle.

I get it OP. I would be cross too.

I would find this annoying too OP

It's not about the cost. It's that a. she wanted the same as her cousin's and b. It's pink and pretty and this is grey and boysy.

OP, i would take the car back and get a refund.

Th child probably doesn’t have much of a concept of cost. She wants pink princess castle, not soldiers and grey functional fort. Her cousin has it, she wants the same. It’s not the same.

Never trust her again to buy the right thing. You learnt the lesson in your childhood, sh3 won’t change.

YABNU

If she offered to get that castle, even though you were about to then that is what she should have got.

But if you know she has form for this then I would not be relying on her getting a much wanted specific gift. I would do that myself and would not trust her.

In future when she asks what you child wants - just tell her it's up to her.

Lol. That is REALLY irritating! YANBU.

Why are you being so hard on OP, her mom asked and was told what DD wanted for birthday and went and got something different.
In future tell your mom to give her money so your DD can buy what she wants.

I think if I knew my mum had form for this sort of thing and my DD was desperate for a certain castle I wouldn't have trusted her to buy it and would have just got it myself.

The OP tried very hard to make sure it was the right one.

Wow. The first few replies to this are crazy. OP this isn't an accident. Your mum has form and has done this deliberately. I'm sorry it happened. The only thing you can do now is replace it and never put yourself in the position where it can happen again.

@MySillyDog81 no the daughter is looking forward to getting a specific castle - not a grey one.
It's like if you asked someone to buy the latest Sophie Kinsella novel (chick-lit) and bought you the latest Jo Nesbo (grim crime) instead.
Yes they are both books - but two completely different things.

Yes I'd be annoyed as it changed your plans for what you were buying....

I know exactly what you mean! My Mum is the same. Always gets the total opposite of what I've asked, or a different colour or a mega cheap tatty version.

I would buy it yourself this time, and then in future don't give your Mum the option of getting anything important.

Oh dear. My mum is like this. Either buys something completely different or claims that buying the correct thing is "too complicated" and she'll just give money. So I do all the work and she takes credit. And actually that's fine but why go through the rigamarole of pretending to care what the child wants.

Lesson learnt, she can't be trusted. Next time, don't depend on her to do the right thing for your daughter.