To be fuming at my mum over birthday present?

[SilverSeat]

DDs birthday on Wednesday. My mum asked me ages ago what she wanted and I said “well all she keeps going on about is this princess castle so I’m getting her that”. My mum said “oh can I get her that? I don’t know what else to get her”. I said “it’s expensive though, £80” my mum said “oh that’s fine!”.

now my mum has form for buying the complete opposite of what you’ve told her so I showed her a picture of it, the make, where to buy it etc - she said that’s fine. I said “ok if you’re definitely getting her that exact castle (it had to be that one as her cousin has it and DD is obsessed with it, as I explained) I’ll get her the electric car”.

i bought the car £80. My mum called yesterday and said she’d got the castle - great. She then added “it was a bargain! It was only £25!” My heart sank … I said “it can’t have been, where did you get it from??” And she told me the name of this shop. I asked her to send me a photo?” So she did …

it’s the complete opposite of what I showed her. It’s a grey medieval castle with soldiers and cannons etc. I said “I told you it was the pink princess castle!” And she said “Her dolls will fit in it though”

FFS

DD thinks she’s getting the princess castle and is so excited, now I have to go out and buy the bloody thing after already buying the car. My mum is “upset” that I’m replacing her present. She used to do this kind of shit to me when I was a kid and I’m not allowing DD to go through it. She cocked up one of her Christmas presents in the same manner. AIBU to be really fucking annoyed and AIBU to replace the present?

Id rather she didn’t buy her a present at all then at least I’d know what to buy!!

I have this with my in laws

DS who is 5 only puts 5 things on his list which covers something for us and each grandparent to buy. We always buy the most expensive and I don’t let him put anything over £30 on the list

Every year she says she will buy what he’s asked for and then changes her mind last minute and says she’s not buying it at all. By which time his birthday budget is gone from us and because he’s asked for so little I end up going out and buying what’s missing 🙈

id rather her not ask what to buy for him because it would save me the hassle 😂

Slight derail but does anyone else think those supermarket delivery substitutions are in fact a ruse to encourage you to try new or different products- probably funded by the substitute’s company? I find if I reject a substitute when the delivery guy arrives, I seem to go on some “ do not try substitutes” list as I don’t get any substitute items for about 6 months. Before I got wise to it and started accepting them, it snowballed and they kept on sending the substitute. 🤔🧐 Sneaky!

Good grief mumsnet is so gendered.

i played with a grey castle with knights and swords when i was a kid. Didn’t make me less of a girl.

Besides the point of the thread however- mother here can’t be trusted with big wishlist items. She gets £20 add on suggestions in the future.

Nothing wrong with a grey castle if that is what the little girl had set her heart on but this particular little girl wanted a pink one. That isn't being gendered, that is wanting to buy what the child wants. Even without the specific instructions, I still would not have bought a five year girl a fort with soldiers and cannons unless I was sure that's what she particularly liked in much the same way as I wouldn't buy my son a glitter Barbie if I knew he was into Spiderman etc.

The post I was responding to said all girls want pink castles.

Where?

The poster actually said A little girl wants a pink fairy castle

A little girl, meaning the child in the OP, not all little girls

Edit - typing error

I don't think she did. I interpreted @suburburban 's post as referring to the OP's DD. ....."A little girl .....". 🤷

It really osnt throughout this thread posters have said children should play with whatvthey want
But in this particular case the five-year old girl wants the princess castle
Maybe next year she will want the grey one but right now she wants the princess ons.⁰

Happy Birthday MiniSilverSeat

I hope you enjoy your PINK castle

I certainly wouldn't put it past them. When you think how many companies deliberately buy/sponsor popular search terms that include their competitors' names, in the hope of steering them away and getting the custom themselves, I could well see why they might try something similar when supplying food orders.

In fact, if Company B wanted to be really devious, they could deliberately invest in buying up all of the supermarkets' stocks of Company A's popular products, so the supermarkets would have to offer their products as substitutes, and people might prefer them and then stick with them long-term!

I used to be a supermarket shopper and some of the substitutions suggested were ridiculous. We did have the right to over ride them though and give a more suitable sub, which I did many times.

For example, someone wanted 3 loose onions. Didn’t have any. Substitute suggested 3 loose lemons instead. I declined their offer and gave them a pack of onions.

How frustrating! In the future buy it ready and get her to give you the money for it then she wont mess it up 😂

For example, someone wanted 3 loose onions. Didn’t have any. Substitute suggested 3 loose lemons instead. I declined their offer and gave them a pack of onions.

Could have been even worse, I suppose, if it just works on matching as much of the word as possible - could have ended up with a tube of bunion cream or a Yoko Ono CD!

@thecatsthecats

I was agreeing with the OP as her dd wanted the pink fairy castle?

Can someone please tell me who these 5% of people are who consistently vote that posters are being unreasonably, when it’s clear to everyone else that they are not unreasonable!

They will be the ones who thrive on being controversial. I don't, for one second, believe that they actually think the OP is being unreasonable (how could they?). They just enjoy being difficult and unpleasant.

They're the people who, when they ask their daughter or daughter-in-law what their grandchild would adore for their birthday, will agree to buy such gift, then decide they know better & buy something else, then complain that the child is ungrateful and they were doing their best.

That’s ok if they ask for a certain castle and got what they wanted

If someone asked you what you wanted and you described a particular cashmere jumper in blue from a certain store and that costs £100

Would you be over the moon if instead you got 100 £1 jumpers in a multitude of colours from some cheap overseas website

Then the next time you are asked you say a bottle of Chanel No.5 but instead you get the same money spent on loads of bottles of Canal no 47 from the local market stall

And for years it repeats over and over again and again and again until you just give up replying with what you want and just stop getting gifts altogether because the gratitude you have to display for getting loads of stuff you don’t want and have to be happy to receive is just too much hard work

Getting the presents asked for each birthday and Christmas doesn’t make your child grow up into a brat or makes them entitled adults. If anything it gives them confidence. An assurance that what they say matters and is heard.

If you ignore your child and don’t get them what they ask for and spend the same money on stuff you want them to have. Then they face the world knowing that their own family doesn’t think they are worth listening to so what makes your child think that anyone else will ever be bothered about their wants and needs