To be fuming at my mum over birthday present?

[SilverSeat]

DDs birthday on Wednesday. My mum asked me ages ago what she wanted and I said “well all she keeps going on about is this princess castle so I’m getting her that”. My mum said “oh can I get her that? I don’t know what else to get her”. I said “it’s expensive though, £80” my mum said “oh that’s fine!”.

now my mum has form for buying the complete opposite of what you’ve told her so I showed her a picture of it, the make, where to buy it etc - she said that’s fine. I said “ok if you’re definitely getting her that exact castle (it had to be that one as her cousin has it and DD is obsessed with it, as I explained) I’ll get her the electric car”.

i bought the car £80. My mum called yesterday and said she’d got the castle - great. She then added “it was a bargain! It was only £25!” My heart sank … I said “it can’t have been, where did you get it from??” And she told me the name of this shop. I asked her to send me a photo?” So she did …

it’s the complete opposite of what I showed her. It’s a grey medieval castle with soldiers and cannons etc. I said “I told you it was the pink princess castle!” And she said “Her dolls will fit in it though”

FFS

DD thinks she’s getting the princess castle and is so excited, now I have to go out and buy the bloody thing after already buying the car. My mum is “upset” that I’m replacing her present. She used to do this kind of shit to me when I was a kid and I’m not allowing DD to go through it. She cocked up one of her Christmas presents in the same manner. AIBU to be really fucking annoyed and AIBU to replace the present?

Id rather she didn’t buy her a present at all then at least I’d know what to buy!!

To be honest op if my mum was like this (and had form) I would have asked mum to transfer me the money, and I’d have bought it and given it to her to then gift to DD.

you shouldn’t have to fuck around like that, but sometimes it’s just anything for an easy life.

Some people seem to think that children should be grateful for any old crap that they have decided to give them.

I find that these people do not apply the same values to gifts that they expect from others.

Grey and boysy?????

Please let this be your final wake-up call to stop depending on your mother to follow through. She does things like this on purpose because she likes to cause drama and trouble. You really should know this by now, and you should definitely know she's never going to change.

Practical idea. Could you ask your Mum to give you the money next time, you buy it and Mum can wrap the present and write it from her.

Lesson learnt OP. Don't let her persuade you to let her get anything in future. I totally get you.

If she did it at christmas and she's done it again then don't let her do it again. Give her something generic to get eg. Art set, paints, fluffy toy.

My mum does this too. And then I end up just buying the thing I/the kids wanted myself.

Ask her to set up a savings account instead.

Well your DM can take hers back and buy the one you get off you.

Oh dear me..do you WORK in a preschool? @PrincessOfPreschool?

I would be upset too

A little girl wants a pink fairy castle, not a grey soldier fort which is what I would buy my ds when he was young

Even a 2nd hand one would have been better

YANBU OP. Unfortunately I think you need to learn to handle her differently - stop relying on her, don’t tell her about the important thing. Give her a totally different idea, tell her money, or get her to take DD shopping.

YANBU but if she’s done this all your life she’s not going to change. Don’t ever tell her main presents or something that will disappoint your DD if she doesn’t get it.

This is exactly the kind of thing my mum would do! 😂 I think it’s an age thing no offence.
it’s not about having something expensive or getting your own way and all that, it’s that she had one simple instruction and still managed to do it wrong. You could have got it yourself if she hadn’t done this 🤦‍♀️ Everyone should do their own present, wether they have ideas or not.
I feel this one very strongly 😂

Yes, sadly toys like clothes have become more and more gendered. We all know this castle will be aimed at boys and the OP's DD will know it too. I'm not declaring that right or wrong (personally I think it's a shame) - but it's the same as buying her an army sweatshirt when she wanted a pink, unicorn one. Some girls might prefer the army one, which is fine. Clearly this girl wouldn't.

“Transfer the money and I’ll order it for you”

Next time offer to get it for her and ask your mother for the cash.
What she's doing is not on.

From now on, when your mother asks what DD wants, I would just say that you will buy the present and she can then attach her card and give you the money. We do this with my parents, not because they would wilfully disregard what DS wants, but because they know that we know EXACTLY which Lego kit he wants, and they don't want to risk stuffing it up.

My mum is the same.

I now get the things on behalf and she gives me the money!