To think my male colleague shouldn't have asked me this?

[pikky]

Long story short, co-worker has been mildly flirting with me for a few weeks (at work) and eventually asked me to go out for a drink with him because in his words he thinks I'm a nice person. He took me by surprise. I had just got out of the loo and was walking to my office. We coincidentally met in the corridor and it was just the 2 of us. I politely declined and explained that I don't drink but we could go for coffee instead (he proposed this a few days prior to asking to go for drinks).

Anyway, a couple of days later he looked at my ID badge , said the photo is nice and asked if it was taken in a bar. He then looked directly into my eyes and seemed to be eagerly waiting for my response. I said it was indeed taken in a bar in Marrakesh.

Only my face and shoulders are visible on the photo. Background is plain black. I did have a full face of makeup on but the photo could've been taken anywhere really.

I don't understand what the problem is?

Personally, I don’t think it’s that deep. Also, bars sell coffee so you could have ordered one there. Plus they sell soft drinks so you you could have had one of those.

I honestly don't understand the question.

He asked you out on a date, you said yes and he complimented your ID card pic?

Is there some sort of background you've not included here?

I don’t drink but I’ve met men from OLD in pubs and had a coffee or juice.

What?!

No issue with what he said.

I don't think you should go for a drink with him (anywhere). For his sake.

You are overthinking this massively. Looking in someone’s eyes directly does not equal being in love with someone and/or unsuitable flirting.

He said it was a nice photo.
He asked you out. You‘ve set your boundaries. I think your rather overzealous reaction to this is indicative of lots of things in you (but I’m not a psychologist) but not inappropriate actions in a work colleague!!!

Sorry if this is unclear - he asked if the photo was taken in a bar. I have the impression his question implied he thought I was lying by saying I don't drink and it was my way of getting out of going for a drink with him.

You mean you feel he was indirectly accusing you of fobbing him off by turning down his bar date?

Who knows, maybe he was. But arsey if he was, I guess.

Do you actually like this guy and want to date him.

He's asked you on a date, you agreed. He's complimented your photo. You think there is an issue?

You sound hard work!

The problem is what exactly?

This! thank you.

I definitely do not want to date anyone from work.

Do you want to date him or not?

Why would you look for issues?

Seen your update. I see I got it right!

That would put my back up too OP.

But you countered by saying youd go for coffee?

Did he turn you down for the coffee then?

Or maybe he means he asked you out on a date to a bar because he thought you drank based on your photo which looked like it was taken in a bar...and it was.

And also that means just because you don't drink alcohol, you do still go to bars.
Do him a favour and just decline

I don't quite understand what he "shouldn't" have said either. I don't drink, but I go to bars - I wouldn't see that as an inappropriate question, especially as he'd already been engaging in some mild flirting and I'd agreed to go for a coffee with him.

Ahhhh I get it, maybe it was, but then that’s on him and it is indeed a weird excuse to not go for a ‚drink’with someone, when you can easily just have got a coffee or coke. Lesson in this just say no thanks if you aren’t interested. But also don’t take men so seriously if they ask you out for a drink. It is what it is.

this seems to be you making something out of nothing.

So why did you suggest coffee instead?!

Also…..stop flirting with people you aren’t interested in. No wonder men complain about mixed signals.

Then tell him you don't want to go out with someone from work, much easier

So he’s been flirting, you say you don’t want to date anyone from work but then you agree to go with a coffee with him? You are being confusing there I think.

You are not fantastic at making yourself clear!

He's asking you on a date and you don't want to date him so you need to cancel it.

Yes. If you don’t want to date someone from work, don’t date them! The distinction between a bar and a coffee shop isn’t the difference between a date and a non-date.