Just heard my neighbours insult my toddler through the wall.....

[Twdfn123]

Hi guys,

Sorry if this seems like a long one but I'm so angry and I just need second opinions as to whether I'm being unreasonable or not.

My neighbours seemed OK when we moved in 5 years ago, but when we did we had other people on the Street saying to be careful as they were bit odd. All was fine until we had our baby boy, now 2.5 years old.

They submitted a noise complaint against us for banging and toilet flushing. We can't do anything about the toilet flushing for a start it's not like we're on it constantly and it's a quiet flush one anyway. The banging from the toddler we can understand, so we've tried our best to limit this as much as we can. Carpeted lounge, no loud toys in the kitchen and no slamming doors. The house complaint was put down to normal household noise and we carried on trying to be careful. I will say my son is at nursery 3 days a week 8-5pm and sleeps solidly from 630 to 630 every night. We try to go out as much as possible as we feel uncomfortable being in the house in case we make too much noise.

Another neighbour has also reported them for aggressive behaviour and threatening to kill her dog. Tonight we've heard them complaining about us through the wall and they've just called our 2.5 hear old little boy an autistic C*NT. We hear them scream at each other every night and use foul language but now its been directed at our boy.

I've just submitted a formal complaint to the lettings agent via email as I can't have that being said about my child. The language we hear on a daily basis is foul and I just don't know what to do anymore. I dont like confontation and I'm scared in my belly but aibu to have put this complaint forward?

I'm 8 months pregnant and I'm so stressed, I just don't know if I've done the right thing. I had to stop my husband going round as he was absolutely fuming.

😭

In what world would this be unreasonable of you?

I'm just a very nervous person and hate conflict so I always doubt myself 😞

If be reporting them no or nouse complaints every time they are rowing!

I'm sorry you have to live like this. You are not being unreasonable but unfortunately there are disagreeable neighbours everywhere. I know housing these days is scarce but I'd just take some time to try and find somewhere else. You don't need this. It's not you, it's them. Wishing you luck to just relocate and leave this crap behind xx

They sound foul. I'm so sorry for you, and I'd be furious if they'd said that about my son.

Whilst their comments are awful, I’m afraid they can say what they want in their home.
You’d have to keep a log of every time they make a loud noise - arguing etc. Honestly - I’d be looking to move if I were you.

Thank you for your kind words. Our neighbours rent but we bought our adjoining house and we just don't have the funds to move, otherwise we would in a heartbeat 😓

Ahhh I see. Don't worry. You are right to complain. I'd keep a log of dates and times of any incidents.

I agree that they can say what they like it's just very hurtful to hear them say it about such a young child. They've had police action against them from another neighbour so I just hope one day something will happen about it. I won't hold my breath though, I know it's a tough old world out there when it comes to neighbour disputes.

That is awful. They are horrible.

Tell you what though, you're a braver woman than me for bringing a newborn baby into this! 😬

Ahh, OK. But, you own your house so maybe just live there, suck it up for a while until your house increases in value and then make a plan. You own your home so you hold more cards. I know it's difficult. I've been there. Could you rent your house out and you rent somewhere else if it gets too much?

I'm afraid there are just some awful people in the world, and they are two of them. It's reassuring to know there have been complaints and police action against them, so you're not alone.

Keep a log of all incidents for future reference.

Could you sound insulate the wall?

YADNBU. It sounds really tough if you can hear each other talking. I would move if I could but if not then definitely soundproof the walls as much as possible and keep my fingers crossed that your awful neighbours move soon.

I’d be careful about complaining. I do believe that when coming to sell a property you have to declare any neighbour disputes. I may be wrong but maybe check it out.

I'm not too sure. The adjoining wall to our lounges where I assume they hear the most noise is the load bearing main wall, made.of brick from the 60s. I don't know the cost or time involved and with me going on maternity soon funds will be tight as it is unfortunately 🥹 we're obviously so excited to bring our 2nd baby in to the world but I'm dreading it at the same time....

All you can do is as others say log date/time and report incidents of loud noise. Could you find out who their LL is and report incidents directly to them? OP I hope you have a quiet baby because once you've reported them they will no doubt report you for baby crying/screaming etc.

I've read that too. This was going to be our forever home so a bit sad its come to this. We haven't actually complained to the council yet, I just put in a 'formal complaint' title on my email to the letting agents. I'm not really sure what the right thing to do is, I've never has to deal with this before 😟

That was something I was worrying about as well, just a nightmare 🥺

This. Eavesdroppers never hear any good about themselves. People can say what they like in their own home. Plus the banging does sound annoying

I so feel for you. This is ridiculous, you have a right to live your life and to enjoy your children. You're going to have a baby, it will cry. You're neighbours will have to deal with it. Are there any community support people you could call on? I'm so angry you feel so horrible living in your own house.

OP wasn't eavesdropping - it sounds like she had no choice but to hear it

Thank you for understanding, I haven't thought to reach out to any community support. I don't really know what that would be in all honesty. My parents live close by so I go there a lot to get out of the house. I just don't want my child(ren) to hear that language and it's getting to the point where I feel like I'm a horrible mum for constantly telling my son he has to play quietly. 😞

People can say whatever they like in their own home I agree with you. I wasn't eavesdropping, I was just sat in the lounge reading the news and I heard shouting through through the wall. It's still a hurtful thing to hear about your child when we try so hard to limit banging noises as much as we can. It is hard with a toddler to police this 24/7.