Just heard my neighbours insult my toddler through the wall.....

[Twdfn123]

Hi guys,

Sorry if this seems like a long one but I'm so angry and I just need second opinions as to whether I'm being unreasonable or not.

My neighbours seemed OK when we moved in 5 years ago, but when we did we had other people on the Street saying to be careful as they were bit odd. All was fine until we had our baby boy, now 2.5 years old.

They submitted a noise complaint against us for banging and toilet flushing. We can't do anything about the toilet flushing for a start it's not like we're on it constantly and it's a quiet flush one anyway. The banging from the toddler we can understand, so we've tried our best to limit this as much as we can. Carpeted lounge, no loud toys in the kitchen and no slamming doors. The house complaint was put down to normal household noise and we carried on trying to be careful. I will say my son is at nursery 3 days a week 8-5pm and sleeps solidly from 630 to 630 every night. We try to go out as much as possible as we feel uncomfortable being in the house in case we make too much noise.

Another neighbour has also reported them for aggressive behaviour and threatening to kill her dog. Tonight we've heard them complaining about us through the wall and they've just called our 2.5 hear old little boy an autistic C*NT. We hear them scream at each other every night and use foul language but now its been directed at our boy.

I've just submitted a formal complaint to the lettings agent via email as I can't have that being said about my child. The language we hear on a daily basis is foul and I just don't know what to do anymore. I dont like confontation and I'm scared in my belly but aibu to have put this complaint forward?

I'm 8 months pregnant and I'm so stressed, I just don't know if I've done the right thing. I had to stop my husband going round as he was absolutely fuming.

😭

The neighbour’s here!

Could you rent your house out and rent somewhere else for a year or two? I don’t know the answer but it sounds so stressful for you, especially with a new baby on the way 💐.

@Twdfn123

It does sound awful, but I think the best you can do is try and ignore them and not focus on them- especially as you are pg. Don’t pander to them, and carry on with your normal household noise.

I think have soft music playing, gives another focus - even if it’s just nursery rhymes : so that your attention is away from any thing you might hear from them. What does your DP think?

Nightmare neighbours are awful and I feel for you. Unfortunately, I don’t think this is going to get any better, anytime soon, especially with a new baby.

You need to make a diary of dates, times, incidents if you wish to take it further. A landlord is not responsible but does have a duty of care to manage antisocial tenants in their properties. Verbal abuse and offensive behaviour are unacceptable. Get in contact with them and a local PCSO if you can. The PCSO might be able to offer you both mediation as your neighbours obviously feel they are being wronged too.

That's not accurate. It would perhaps be a hate crime if they were saying it directly or were saying it loud enough through the wall to be intentionally heard and cause offence. But if OP has just picked up on a private conversation that's taken place in their own home, there's nothing she can do. How would she even go about proving it was actually about her toddler?

You sound suspiciously like YOU’RE The neighbour here…

I think you or your husband should report this latest incident to the police, given the police have had to visit before.

Of course the neighbours know you can hear, so it was directed at your DS. I would not consider it a private conversation.

We investigated sound proofing for our home, while an alcoholic neighbour and his wife kept screaming at each other. Luckily he died before I committed to the sound proofing. Lovely and quiet now.

He was livid and I had to stop him going round in the heat of the moment to have a word with them. That wouldn't have gotten us anywhere when he was feeling so heated. I was angry also but don't want to antagonise even further and make everything more uncomfortable. Probably will get some backlash because of the complaint I made but their arguing and shouting in the evening has got too much. Posters are right I don't think or know if they intended for us to hear it but we did, so it was listed as an aside in the complaint. I think we will start logging and recording from now on, should have done this sooner so that's on us 😟

We own our home. Next door is rented.

Hi I’m sorry to hear this, its awful to feel like this in your own home. I work in lettings, I recommend you go to their lettings office and talk to them about. Explaining face to face might be more powerful and they should do something about it. Hope it’s sorted soon so you can concentrate on your lovely family xxx

You probably don't have a job then if 6.30 am is too early to get woken up.
Honestly if a neighbour had a small child that slept through the night and was up at 6.30am I would not think of calling them a C*NT! What's wrong with people now?

Those posters are out in force on this thread, aren’t they?

@AlwaysGinPlease
Living on emotional egg shells can be very tricky like walking emotional minefield, tightrope balance and very 😩 stressful no good for emotional / psychological health,

I would just look into going to places that are on the more child friendly, local cafes and softball play areas, children's libraries ect,

Also like ubove poster said is there a possibility of renting your house 🏠 out and renting elsewhere to live or something?

Turn to Citizens Advice bureau

Mediator can be last resort alternative option,
with charitable organisations et,
with neighbourhood disputes...

However i can amagine that this kind of option success would be extremely limited...

People like that can’t be reasoned with. They also seem to feed on conflict and arguments. I know you’re not the problem, but you need to move away from these sick fuckers, for your own sanity. It will just spiral in to more pettiness and potentially aggression from them. This is no way for your children to live, toddlers make noise!!

Nothing really to add OP but my sympathy, it's a really tough situation. We live in a terrace and sound travels. Try your best to ignore them, if you are very sensitive to the noise of arguing/nervous (I am) I believe there are special ear plugs now for such things which will allow you to hear your children/husband but block out other background sounds.

Again, there is absolutely nothing - nothing at all - you can do about them calling you, your son or your entire family names in their own home.

Nothing at all.

It's bizarre that some people actually think this is a thing.

Don’t walk on eggshells in your own home. Just live normally and completely ignore them. They’ve complained once and were wrong, they won’t complain again.
Report everything antisocial to their letting agent, get your neighbours to do the same. They may have no powers but they’ll eventually get sick of responding to complaints. Hopefully when they have a tenancy review it won’t be extended.
This happened with someone on our street who went out of her way to make everyone’s life a misery. People are weird!

God the "pick me"s are out in force on this thread!