Just heard my neighbours insult my toddler through the wall.....

[Twdfn123]

Hi guys,

Sorry if this seems like a long one but I'm so angry and I just need second opinions as to whether I'm being unreasonable or not.

My neighbours seemed OK when we moved in 5 years ago, but when we did we had other people on the Street saying to be careful as they were bit odd. All was fine until we had our baby boy, now 2.5 years old.

They submitted a noise complaint against us for banging and toilet flushing. We can't do anything about the toilet flushing for a start it's not like we're on it constantly and it's a quiet flush one anyway. The banging from the toddler we can understand, so we've tried our best to limit this as much as we can. Carpeted lounge, no loud toys in the kitchen and no slamming doors. The house complaint was put down to normal household noise and we carried on trying to be careful. I will say my son is at nursery 3 days a week 8-5pm and sleeps solidly from 630 to 630 every night. We try to go out as much as possible as we feel uncomfortable being in the house in case we make too much noise.

Another neighbour has also reported them for aggressive behaviour and threatening to kill her dog. Tonight we've heard them complaining about us through the wall and they've just called our 2.5 hear old little boy an autistic C*NT. We hear them scream at each other every night and use foul language but now its been directed at our boy.

I've just submitted a formal complaint to the lettings agent via email as I can't have that being said about my child. The language we hear on a daily basis is foul and I just don't know what to do anymore. I dont like confontation and I'm scared in my belly but aibu to have put this complaint forward?

I'm 8 months pregnant and I'm so stressed, I just don't know if I've done the right thing. I had to stop my husband going round as he was absolutely fuming.

😭

They seem like disgusting horrid people op. Don't limit your noise if within normal hours op. They need to get a life.

Why bother telling them then? It achieves nothing.

Absolutely this!

I cannot understand how some posters say the landlords can do nothing - they absolutely can. Social landlords may take an age to act, but private landlords can refuse to renew for anti-social behaviour.

As for the idiots who have said they can say what they like in their house - well yes they can. However, they cannot say it as loudly as they like so that it can be heard outside their four walls. If this was so, there would be no such thing as a noise complaint and parties could go on for days.

My neighbours have a toddler and a baby who wake me every single morning from 6am. They have no carpets upstairs and the kids drop toys on the floor, cry, run about in clogs etc. However, it's part of urban life and if it bothered me that much, I would wear earplugs. No way would I be retaliating in such a disgusting manner, that is completely out of order.

I will be renting my house out in a few months, but I will be ensuring I get normal respectable tenants and I wont tolerate anyone abusing my neighbours. Reading this thread, I will be making sure I have a clause about reasonable standards of behaviour and that my neighbours have my contact details.

OP, they sound disgusting and for some posters to say this behaviour is normal only demonstrates how low their own standard of behaviour are and there are also some obvious trolls, so please don't doubt yourself.
Go back to living normally and btw, I would be flushing that loo all night long to encourage their swift departure to pastures new.

@LuluBlakey1 hope you're not that blunt to people in real life. The estate agent actually told me to keep coming and reporting it, and also agreed that it will probably bring me more peace if they don't write to him. But you obviously know more about my situation than me

@BeepBoopBop You are an atypical landlord, because most only give a shit about making profit and paying their mortgages. OP’s best option is to move.

F

Flipping heck you're on one today aren't you you nasty piece of work!

I just can't see the point in what you are doing. Surely, the point of reporting his behaviour is that you want it to stop. The point of telling his landlord/agency is that they can stop it and, ultimately, evict him if he won't stop. You said you have asked them not to do anything while he lives there. Well what does that achieve? That they have a list of repeated awful behaviour from a man who no longer rents a house with them, and a neighbour who has suffered his awful behaviour for years and stopped them dealing with it but has written to them regularly about it. It's pointless- a waste of time.

It doesn’t matter if they complain or not though does it, because the poster is just living a normal life.
If her neighbours are in agreement they will complain. Why are you trying to put her off?
Lastly are you a letting agent? I doubt it. Not all of them are lazy, you’re talking rubbish.

I noticed further up you suggested they shouldn’t have had another baby. You’re seriously suggesting these people should change their lives because they might offend their crackpot neighbours. Are you actually serious?
@Twdfn123 I think we’ve found you neighbour on here!

@BringtheweatherwithyouThere is no way you will be able to stop a baby crying in the middle of the night and they will record it as proof.
Proof of nothing. A crying baby is not a noise nuisance in legal terms.

I can’t believe some of the replies here.

YADNBU for being annoyed about what you heard. Yes they can say what they like in their own home, it doesn’t make it any less hurtful and it’s a disgusting thing to say.

YADNBU for having another baby. People have babies, lots of people have babies in terraced, semi-detached houses and flats. It’s part of life and I can’t imagine not having a child in case the noise upset my neighbours, as some posters are suggesting you should have done.

YADNBU for letting your son watch tv at 6:30am. 6:30 isn’t that early, lots of people are getting ready for work/school at that time and lots of people have the tv on. As long as it’s not really loud it isn’t a problem.

It does sound like your only real options are to soundproof, move or make noise and deal with consequences. Realistically a toddler playing and a baby crying are every day noises and even if your neighbour makes complaints nothing will be done. I’m sorry you’re going though this and I’m sorry you’ve had some really awful responses.

Nobody has said the landlords can do nothing.

Many have said that the landlords are unlikely to do anything - which is true. It is highly unlikely that they will care about a noise complaint about someone talking or even yelling in their own home. She's also indicated she's not keen on kicking up a fuss with the landlords.

Anyway, many have said the OP can certainly put a noise complaint in. Some have said nothing will be done about it, which is probably but not definitely true.

The nothing to be done comments have referred to the reality that the OP cannot prevent her neighbours from speaking words that insult or offend her within their own home.

But yes the OP can make a noise complaint.

She can also move or put in sound proofing.

She can also go round and start an argument and hope it doesn't escalate.

Those are the options. Not, I suspect, what the OP wanted to hear.

So yep, she is being very unreasonable if she thinks she can tell people what they can and cannot say in their own home - however insulting or upsetting she might find it.

And no, she is not unreasonable to be annoyed by it.

So flattered by the checking up on my posts! Thank you! This obviously touched a raw nerve if the rant is anything to go by😂. The hysteria in 'are you trying to put her off' is particularly hilarious.

If it 'doesn't matter' whether the neighbours complain or not, it's rather strange that the OP was advised to get them to complain! There's such a thing as adding to existing stress, especially when (I quote direct from the OP's post): 'I'm so stressed'. This adding to the situation is something that's been pointed out several times on here and is undoubtedly true: surely if it's as bad as it's presented, then the last thing you would want is to invite more. I also think you're overlooking the fact that there was a complaint again OP for noise as well. And allowing a child to bang doors against a child gate, etc? Come on, this could have been simply rectified by some padding or something similar.

Have a lovely day! 😁

This is appalling behaviour! I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. Please try not let it raise your blood pressure while you are pregnant. Harassment is an offensive and I suspect this would fall into that category. If it happens again I would report them!!

I think it would be a good idea to take note/document every single nuisance from your neighbours. Their screaming and foul speech + the time of day or night you hear it, the exact words they use speaking about your little one, any banging etc. This might come in handy when (not if) you go and look in community support. Hang in there!

Sorry this is so awful! Is it modern semi or older one? Just wondering how easy it is to hear everything. Is it possible to put some soundproofing in so you don't have to bear their hostility? They sound horrible 😕

So sorry you're having to put up with this especially with a toddler and a baby on the way. Although you're not keen on conflict in my experience people who behave like this don't get better. A couple of things occur to me. You may be able to get somewhere with the Council and/or their landlord. And if they have bothered made a complaint, and been the subject of a complaint, there's going to be a record of them isn't there? But it will be stressful doing it on your own and they may turn nastier than they are now. Can you join forces with the other neighbour whose dog they've threatened to kill?Support each other to approach the council and/or their landlord together? You sound incredibly patient and accommodating so I really hope a third party can step in for you. Take care of yourself.

Typo. For bothered read already.

Not that you should need to, but I wonder if some sort of insulation might help? My friend turned his Dad's garage into a recording studio by adding a layer to the walls to make it soundproof, but I can't remember what he'd covered the walls with, sorry 😅
xx

I can't find how to edit my comment 😅
but it might have been something like chipboard, or something that might absorb the sound, to block it more effectively.
hope this helps.
or there might be some cost effective DIY solution online somewhere.
xx