Just heard my neighbours insult my toddler through the wall.....

[Twdfn123]

Hi guys,

Sorry if this seems like a long one but I'm so angry and I just need second opinions as to whether I'm being unreasonable or not.

My neighbours seemed OK when we moved in 5 years ago, but when we did we had other people on the Street saying to be careful as they were bit odd. All was fine until we had our baby boy, now 2.5 years old.

They submitted a noise complaint against us for banging and toilet flushing. We can't do anything about the toilet flushing for a start it's not like we're on it constantly and it's a quiet flush one anyway. The banging from the toddler we can understand, so we've tried our best to limit this as much as we can. Carpeted lounge, no loud toys in the kitchen and no slamming doors. The house complaint was put down to normal household noise and we carried on trying to be careful. I will say my son is at nursery 3 days a week 8-5pm and sleeps solidly from 630 to 630 every night. We try to go out as much as possible as we feel uncomfortable being in the house in case we make too much noise.

Another neighbour has also reported them for aggressive behaviour and threatening to kill her dog. Tonight we've heard them complaining about us through the wall and they've just called our 2.5 hear old little boy an autistic C*NT. We hear them scream at each other every night and use foul language but now its been directed at our boy.

I've just submitted a formal complaint to the lettings agent via email as I can't have that being said about my child. The language we hear on a daily basis is foul and I just don't know what to do anymore. I dont like confontation and I'm scared in my belly but aibu to have put this complaint forward?

I'm 8 months pregnant and I'm so stressed, I just don't know if I've done the right thing. I had to stop my husband going round as he was absolutely fuming.

😭

My 2 year old gets up at that time naturally and we come downstairs and put some tv on so he sits quietly until around 730am on a good day. I don't eavesdrop, I hear shouting.

Agree, some neighbours just want to be awful. You wont' change them, it's a joy in their life to destroy others.

That must have been awful to hear. Complain and log each incident. Try and record any breach of noise. It will be in their tenancy agreement somewhere about excessive noise. It is anti social behaviour

Normally it’s something like this

Noise. The Tenant agrees not to cause or allow any noise or activity on the Premises which might disturb the peace and quiet of another Tenant and/or neighbor.

Why? Because I'd expect not to be woken at 6.30? Or the people that that disrupt others to take measures to stop that?

Yeah, OK then 👍🏼

That’s absolutely horrible but to be fair you can’t stop them calling any of you names in their own homes. Ypu can’t police their conversations like that.

I know, I wouldn't care if it was about me or my husband. It just stings a little when it's about my toddler. But I just felt the volatile shouting and swearing warranted a complaint, like they felt we warranted one. It's hard to know where to tow the line in a situation like this to be honest 🥺

Well it is going to be even harder soon, noise is unfair no matter how people say you can do what you want

They shouldn't be noisy but neither should you so you can log what you want but them saying things about your toddler or anything else is their business

Our next door neighbour is very similar, and I let the letting agents know every time he does something unreasonable. I have asked them not to write to him because I don't want to antagonise him while he's still living next door, but I want the agents to be aware of what he's like.

This sounds like an awful situation to live in.
I'd be keeping what is known as an 'incident diary'. You've clearly tried to adapt your lifestyle to be as kind as you can, so keep a record of what they do that is unreasonable and that may help you see your grounds for a formal complaint.
Hope it gets resolved x

Get a radio. Have it on as background sounds quite low. It should mask their voice ime. I have misophonia and this works well when ndn have parties or argue...

What about sound insulation so you don't have to hear them. You can get wooden acoustic panels that are quite nice and decorative that go on the walls - a bit like wood panelling but designed to absorb the sound and stop rooms being too reverberant. I don't have links or know much about it, but I looked at them briefly for our kitchen which is noisy with the tiled floor and the washing machine. Failing that a large decorative rug on the wall? You shouldn't have to obviously! They Abvu

All these people saying people can say what they want in their own house - say it, fine, but shout it, no that's not OK. It's aggressive and unpleasant. OP I also think you're being too kind focusing on stopping your toddler making any noise, people like this are going to complain anyway. Fair enough not slamming doors etc but kids bang toys around, that's life.

I'd ask their letting agent for their landlord's details so you can share any issues with them, then get a log together of incidents snd share it when you feel there is enough that the landlord may be able to act on it (one rude comment about your toddler sadly won't cut it I think). Hopefully the crying baby will upset them and make these delightful people move. Children make noise, it's just how it is. If they don't like it they need ro live in a detached property or retirement community.

This would fall under a disability hate crime. They absolutely can't say what they want about you in their own homes if it's audible from your house.
https://www.scope.org.uk/advice-and-support/hate-crime/

You did the right thing

My son isn't actually autistic, they've just used that term as an insult, which is obviously very hurtful to that community as its nothing that should be used as an insult in the first place. Hopefully even if our complaint is just kept on record it's something at least :/

WTF is wrong with some people on this thread? Bloody hell. Of course OP shouldn't have to put up with this. And it's not 'eavesdropping' if something is shouted loud enough to hear through the wall ffs. I think they intended for OP to hear.

How do you know it was directed at your child and not at each other?

Living with neighbour noise is so stressful, I really do understand. If they rent can you contact their landlord?

"If someone commits a crime against another person because they are disabled or they think they are disabled, it is a disability hate crime."

My other idea OP , if they cannot be stopped, is consider renting the place out. Perhaps they can be stopped-I no expert, and others will be.

So you've got TV blaring from 6:30 to 7:30 every morning? In the very room that's so badly soundproofed you can hear every conversation? Your neighbours may be cunts but I can't help feeling sorry for them.

Our lounge backs on their lounge, not their bedrooms where I assume they would still be asleep. I never said I blare the TV, it's on very quiet volume 5 while he watches bing and drinks some milk In the morning.

But I feel like people have taken the wrong point here. They have complained about evening noise between 530 and 630pm, not the morning....

Is that true? Their language was discriminatory against disabled people, regardless of whether or not the toddler actually has autism.