'Tell me a joke'

[Woopzies]

Had a work meeting yesterday. Whole team present including boss.

Boss, in a funny mood, goes 'tell me a joke.' One by one, everyone told their joke. We got to me and I went totally blank, followed by histerics because I don't know any jokes.

I hadn't realised until then that I actually don't know any jokes. The logical side of me says that it really isn't a big deal but the other side of me feels like there's something wrong with me for not knowing any jokes. AIBU?!

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Boo

Boo who?

It’s only a joke, no need to cry

My 5 year olds fave and literally the only one I could think of, you have my sympathies op, I’d die of embarrassment

I went to the zoo yesterday. It only had one animal, a dog. It was a Shih Tzu.

Why aren't there painkillers in the jungle?

Parrots et em all

Knock knock

Who's there?

Arthur.

Arthur who?

Arthur fuck sake, wrong house number

🤣🤣

Paddy and Murphy sitting in a pub they start to unwrap their sandwiches.
The barman says oii you two you can't bring your own food in here
So paddy says to Murphy hey Murphy let's swap

What can a snowman smell?

Carrot

Two nuns in the bath.
One says to the other
Where’s the soap?
The other replies
Yes it does, doesn’t it

Took me years to get it

My go-to joke for situations like this is “what did the number 0 say to the number 8? [fashiony voice] Great belt, darling”

Simple, works on all ages and won’t offend anyone.

I don’t get that.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

I still don’t get it?!?!

What cheese can hide a horse?

Marscapone.

Me neither?

Nieces current favourites:
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A DoYouThinkHeSawUs

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh

It’s a play on the where/wear

Play on words
Wears the soap
Implies the nuns have been using the soap to masturbste

Man goes into shop to buy tights for his wife.
Sales assistant says "sheer?"
Man says "nah she's at home"

Knock knock
Who's there?
The interrupting cow.
The interrupting cow wh...
MOO!
🤣

🤣

🤣🤣🤣

"Did you hear about the kidnapping outside the local school?"

"A teacher had to come out and wake him up" 😁

Surely that would give one a dreadful bout of thrush?

Old Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet. Vet says "Is it a tom?" Man says " No it's here int basket."