My DH has changed my baby’s name….

[Lilysienna1]

… or at least, he’s TOLD everyone a different name. I’m pretty sure I am not being unreasonable. This is more of what would be a reasonable response. Because right now I’m ready to LTB.

I have recently given birth to our 3rd and final baby. I had a difficult birth, and have just got home from hospital after a 10 day stay.
As we did with previous births, we’ve not allowed any visitors and as I’ve been so unwell, I’ve actually only bothered with my
phone to snap a few photos, in between sleeping and feeding etc. Not announced the birth on social media, and only spoke with my mum and sisters.

I arrive home today and started opening cards and presents that family and friends (from DH side) have dropped round. All with congratulations on the birth of ‘Georgina.’

This would be lovely, if her name was Georgina. However, it isn’t or at least it wasn’t. We had agreed on Emmeline. Georgina was a top contender, but I just didn’t love it as much as Emmeline. DH had not expressed how much he loved the name Georgina - he was very much ‘I like all the names on the shortlist. You can choose.’ Which I did. Emmeline.

so of course, I confront him on it. We didn’t share any names with friends and family, so I knew they hadn’t just taken a wild guess. He looked a bit sheepish and said ‘I was going to tell you. I just don’t think I can imagine calling her Emmeline. Georgina is a better fit.’
Oh and ‘Everyone agrees’ he said. (his mum then basically)

‘I was going to tell you’ doesn’t really cut it here does it? I will admit neither of us were really using her name in the hospital, we were calling her ‘little bean’ which was a silly but sentimental name we had for her when she was just a bump. But of course I’ve said Emmeline a few times and I’m sure he has as well.

He said he was really sorry, but ‘everyone’ was asking for a name and he felt he had to make a decision (that we had already made) and so he ‘went with Georgina.’
He says he can understand why I am upset but as we both like Georgina, why can’t we use it. Seeing as she doesn’t ‘feel like an Emmeline.’

if this had been discussed, then sure, we both have to feel comfortable with the end name, but that decision can’t be with one parent alone, behind the other ones back. He says I was too unwell to really decide. Yes, I was unwell. But perfectly capable of a conversation.

oh and his mum has already ordered ‘Georgina’ a personalised baby blanket 🥴

I joked to friends that as I was the one registering the birth (partner lives abroad), that I could technically put whatever name I wanted, (I really wanted to add Michael to son's name, but partner doesn't agree), although partly joking about going ahead with my name choice, I thought that I'd respect his decision not to add Michael (plus it wasn't worth going behind his back) and used the names that we had both agreed on.

OP, I like the idea of calling her Emmeline with Georgina as her middle name, but agree that even though both names were in both of your top picks, he shouldn't have chosen your lesser of the 2 favourites without discussing the name change request with you, as it should be a mutual agreement, and if you'd already both agreed on Emmeline before you went into labour, then he should respect that or should've been honest with you earlier, if he wasn't as keen on the name.
I think that Emmeline Georgina has a nice ring to it though, if you don't mind a compromise ... ?
Sending hugs.
Xx

Louisa Clementine is absolutely delicious!!! Congratulations 🥂 I’m glad you reached a nice conclusion and are all happy with the end result now emotions have died down. I agree, this will make a very funny story to tell when she’s older.

Lovely update OP and a beautiful name!

This is exactly what I thought of too.

Lovely name OP, congrats.

Louisa is beautiful! Congratulations 🥰

I’d be absolutely fuming! He “feels” the name doesn’t fit? Sorry did he just grow & carry her in his body & go through a traumatic birth?? Prick.

Emmeline is beautiful btw. Stand your ground. Oh & congratulations on your baby girl! X

Louisa is a beautiful name, congratulations!

When you're out of the fog of newborn stage you might want to have a chat with DH about how it's not appropriate for him and his mother to name your children, though 😳

To add, my children weren't born in the UK and both parents had to attend to register the birth, married or not. I feel like this would go a long way to having children named whatever the dad decided at the register office.

Fantastic News!!
Louisa 💕
So pleased you’ve both settled disagreement amicably x

It is not uncommon for parents to take one look at a new baby and change the name they have picked, on the grounds that baby does not look like the name they had chosen.

Is it too late to change if it has already been registered?
But so many children are called by a name that is not their registered name, you can call her what you like.
How about adding both if you can - a child can actually have any number of names. You can then tell everyone that Georgina is actually her middle name

This is bringing back memories… I’ve shared this before. When I told everyone I was having B/G twins and we were keeping their names secret until their birth (as we did with our first born) my FITH (F-ed in the head) mum was only interested in the boy. Told every man and his dog that the boy baby was going to be called “Jamie” and despite us assuring her that he was definitely NOT being called “Jamie”, she promptly had some towels embroidered that we said (at that time) “Wow… Some boy or girl at the charity shop whose name is Jamie is going to really love these!” And she STILL didn’t believe us…. Of course when we announced our babie’s names many months later, what was the first thing she said? “How much do they weigh?”, “What was the girl’s name?”, “What colour hair?”, “Is everyone healthy” (No, as a matter of fact, I haemorrhaged and nearly died. My uterus was put in the bin. Can’t say I missed it….) NO! When my husband said the baby boy was just born and his name was “Not Jamie” my mother’s first response was “But what about the towels!!!”

@Fraaahnces you should have called the girl Jamie if you really wanted to fuck with her head!

Oooh no!!! Jamie Lee (like Curtis) was the name of one of my high school bullies!!!

What about Georgiana? Like Mr. Darcy’s accomplished younger sister? I vastly prefer emmeline over Georgie though. We knew a Georgie growing up and she always had people singing Georgie Porgie pudding and pie, kissed the boys and made them cry…

He does know he's not required to be present when you register the birth right? I LOVE Emmeline, I think it's a beautiful name. I would tell him he had already asked you to choose and you have ... I would say you can't imagine calling her Georgina as she just doesn't look like a Georgina so you will not be overruled on this. Make the appointment (personally I wouldn't even tell him when it is) register the birth yourself and he will have to deal with it. You're allowed a say after carrying the baby inside you for 9 months and putting your life on the line to give birth. He will just have to deal with his family (it's his own fault!)

You gave birth and deserve more of a day than his mother. I would be livid.

@Lilysienna1

Congratulations to you and your husband on the addition of a healthy baby, Louisa Clementine. I'm glad he recognised the error he made in initially bypassing the wishes of the person who actually carried the baby for nine months then went through the labour of birthing her in favour of his mother... 🌹

My father did the same, many years ago, except he didn't just tell people (long time pre social media) he went to the register office and legally named me according to his choice, not my mother's. I've always been grateful - I much preferred his choice of name to the one my mother wanted.

The new names are much better 👍

I like the new names. Well done for having the reasoned discussion. I'm glad you have found your resolution.

I think it is lovely that your older children are already calling her Lulu.

My ex husband went down to register the birth while I was off my nut on painkillers post emergency section. He added in a middle name I'd said I really wasn't comfortable with as it was the name of someone I'd had a bad previous experience with, and just had bad connotations for me.

I had decided not to change my name when we got married and wanted my last name and his last name for the baby, not hyphenated. He didn't do this, so the baby got an extra middle name I'd expressed a strong wish not to have for a good reason, plus a different surname.

Change his name to Fuckwit while the divorce goes through OP, this is just a symptom of how he feels in general about you and your relationship.

Great updates.
now enjoy your baby. Xx

My dad mutinied when mum was still in hospital and claimed to be unable to spell the very pretentious and long-winded name that she had chosen. It wasn’t a thing in the 70’s but thank fuck as it would have been complete cultural appropriation and I would have been forever apologizing and needing to explain myself and/or changing my name anyway.

Louisa is the nicest name of all three, so I think a victory for the little bean! Congrgatulations and enjoy your new DD :)

😂